Steel yourself - time to teach sex ed... you had a sex education lesson? Chances are it involved a teacher trying to be matter-of-fact, some degree of giggling, and a banana.
Steel yourself - time to teach sex ed... you had a sex education lesson? Chances are it involved a teacher trying to be matter-of-fact, some degree of giggling, and a banana.
With sex and relationship classes to be compulsory in all England's schools for the first time, there will be yet more memories of embarrassed giggling over plastic ovaries and trying not to itch as teacher talks about STDs.
With sex and relationship classes to be compulsory in all England's schools for the first time, there will be yet more memories of embarrassed giggling over plastic ovaries and trying not to itch as teacher talks about STDs.
Sex education is a lesson that no-one ever forgets, often despite one's own best efforts.
Sex education is a lesson that no-one ever forgets, often despite one's own best efforts.
"My first sex education lesson filled me with fear, because an older pupil told me the teacher would strip off to show us all his bits before demonstrating how to wear a condom," says Tom.
"My first sex education lesson filled me with fear, because an older pupil told me the teacher would strip off to show us all his bits before demonstrating how to wear a condom," says Tom.
"I took a seat at the back, squirming with embarrassment and anticipation, wondering where I would look when he started undressing. But it was very mundane. A fully-clothed teacher passed around the contraceptives, and the cervical cap was returned with holes wreaked by a compass."
"I took a seat at the back, squirming with embarrassment and anticipation, wondering where I would look when he started undressing. But it was very mundane. A fully-clothed teacher passed around the contraceptives, and the cervical cap was returned with holes wreaked by a compass."
At Jane's mixed grammar school, only the girls got the classes. "We didn't get them until 13 and then only if it rained, instead of PE. Our teacher was a bit doddery and clearly embarrassed. We had a textbook, but never progressed, in five years, beyond the lifecycle of a frog.
At Jane's mixed grammar school, only the girls got the classes. "We didn't get them until 13 and then only if it rained, instead of PE. Our teacher was a bit doddery and clearly embarrassed. We had a textbook, but never progressed, in five years, beyond the lifecycle of a frog.
"When one teenager got pregnant, the teacher seemed surprised: 'I can't understand it, she attended my classes'."
"When one teenager got pregnant, the teacher seemed surprised: 'I can't understand it, she attended my classes'."
The lifecycle of a frog also strikes a chord with Kathryn. "I went to a Catholic school, with nuns. They didn't do sex education - at all."Everyone paying attention?
The lifecycle of a frog also strikes a chord with Kathryn. "I went to a Catholic school, with nuns. They didn't do sex education - at all."Everyone paying attention?
And Rob recalls a video narrated by a man with a broad Scottish accent. "He referred to girls having Volvos a lot. Given my middle-class upbringing, I did not find that especially surprising."
And Rob recalls a video narrated by a man with a broad Scottish accent. "He referred to girls having Volvos a lot. Given my middle-class upbringing, I did not find that especially surprising."
Bill remembers little more than a faded animated film about VD. "The infected person had green animated dots buzzing all over them to show they had the clap."
Bill remembers little more than a faded animated film about VD. "The infected person had green animated dots buzzing all over them to show they had the clap."
Not that it's so easy to tell in real life. But another teaching aid - graphic depictions of birth or of the symptoms of sexually transmitted infections - generally provoked squirming rather than snickers.
Not that it's so easy to tell in real life. But another teaching aid - graphic depictions of birth or of the symptoms of sexually transmitted infections - generally provoked squirming rather than snickers.
For all the squirming and red faces, it can also be something of a relief to have all the weird things puberty does to your body, heart and head explained.
For all the squirming and red faces, it can also be something of a relief to have all the weird things puberty does to your body, heart and head explained.
But even then, there may be some rather glaring gaps. Sex education at Bernard's Roman Catholic boarding school involved the headmaster inviting one boy at a time into his office. As he puffed on a cigar, he explained what "it" was all about.
But even then, there may be some rather glaring gaps. Sex education at Bernard's Roman Catholic boarding school involved the headmaster inviting one boy at a time into his office. As he puffed on a cigar, he explained what "it" was all about.
"When I next went home, my mother gave me a pamphlet from the Catholic Truth Society. She asked if I understood it all, and I said I had just one question. If the man is on one side of the bed, and the woman is on the other, how does the sperm get all the way across, through the pyjamas and the nightie?
"When I next went home, my mother gave me a pamphlet from the Catholic Truth Society. She asked if I understood it all, and I said I had just one question. If the man is on one side of the bed, and the woman is on the other, how does the sperm get all the way across, through the pyjamas and the nightie?
"Neither of these sources had addressed this key point."
"Neither of these sources had addressed this key point."
Add your memories of sex education lessons using the form below.
Add your memories of sex education lessons using the form below.
I remember the video narrated by the Scottish guy! "The lady puts down her newspaper which means she is ready to have the baby". It showed the whole birth process as a calm, tranquil affair with no blood, sweat or tears. I was shown this video at a boys' grammar school in 1996. They're probably still showing it. Surprisingly we only really learnt about the female anatomy and spent next to no time learning about what emotional and physical traumas we might undergo as boys. I think it's essential that the relationship aspect of sex education plays just as important a role as the biology lesson.Peter, Valencia, Spain
Our sex education classes were run by two ancient games teachers in pleated skirts. One session featuring a tape recording descended into chaos when one, with her finger on the light switch, politely asked the other "shall we have it off?"Catherine Pope, Brighton, UK
Ours consisted of two cartoon adults in a bubble bath with a rubber duck blowing the bubbles off to show their bits. When it came to the actual act of sex it used two cartoon cats rubbing faces then one sneezing. We learnt a lot...Fi, Tewkesbury
We were shown a video of somebody giving birth in a very graphic fashion, but I soon realised that it was a family friend in the video, and I've never been able to look her (or her daughter) in the eye since.Nick, London, UK
Our first brush with sex education was when aged 10 our class was sat down and forced to watch a video of a family (mum, dad, boy, girl) playing tennis on the beach... totally naked. The result was lots of hysterical giggling from us and one very awkward looking teacher. Betsy, Sheffield
Anyone who went to Standard Grade Biology in Scotland will remember the genius that was Section 7. It was where you would get the most laughs as the entire class when asked "please turn to section 7" would let out a cheer as the pictures of anatomy would be held up and pointed at. To be fair, it probably taught me what to expect. Martin Smith, Paisley
It would have been about 1974, I was 10, it was an all-male school, and the lesson - all one of them - was given by the headmaster, a fairly mature gentleman. It was practically content-free, nothing about relationships, nothing about STDs, nothing about same-sex relationships. Even at our tender age, we all knew more than was said in this class. But it got us out of a maths class so we all sat and looked interested - dirty pictures were more interesting than vulgar fractions.Eddie, Edinburgh
I had to enact the condom-on-a-banana scene several years after leaving school: to a medical student, of all people. Despite her own parents both being doctors and having no strong religious anti-sex ed bent, they'd sent her to a convent school and never explained the facts of life to her themselves. Bizarre.Liz, London
Twelve years ago in year 8 we were made to watch a cartoon of a penis becoming erect; the teacher became very angry at the class laughing and so rewound it and made us watch it again in silence. I'm not sure what she thought she was achieving. Sam, Reading
The sex education I remembered most were when I was 15. That year we had a very young biology teacher and she was really relaxed. The lessons were still fairly boring but she was answering our questions to the best of her knowledge. I will remember it for ever and I am 42 now. One question was related to what teenage boys do often and the risk on productivity at later stage. Our teacher told us the more we were doing it the richer our sperm count would be. You can imaging the blush followed by laugh. She also put it to the girls that the older they wait before having sexual relations the more they will enjoy it. And she put it to the boys that we shouldn't rush into it either. We were all grateful to her frankness.Chris, Edinburgh
Mine where actually quite good 22 years ago, we where split into girls and boys and had separate chats - one all about female concerns and one about male, including puberty, reproduction, periods, sanitary devices and contraception. The classes then swapped and had the exactly the same chat so they knew what was going on with each other. This was then followed up (again gender separated) with STDs, contraception and birth and its responsibilities. This culminated with a explicit birth video - the best bit of contraception we all got.Catrine, East
