Steel yourself - time to teach sex ed... you had a sex education lesson? Chances are it involved a teacher trying to be matter-of-fact, some degree of giggling, and a banana.
Steel yourself - time to teach sex ed... you had a sex education lesson? Chances are it involved a teacher trying to be matter-of-fact, some degree of giggling, and a banana.
With sex and relationship classes to be compulsory in all England's schools for the first time, there will be yet more memories of embarrassed giggling over plastic ovaries and trying not to itch as teacher talks about STDs.
With sex and relationship classes to be compulsory in all England's schools for the first time, there will be yet more memories of embarrassed giggling over plastic ovaries and trying not to itch as teacher talks about STDs.
Sex education is a lesson that no-one ever forgets, often despite one's own best efforts.
Sex education is a lesson that no-one ever forgets, often despite one's own best efforts.
"My first sex education lesson filled me with fear, because an older pupil told me the teacher would strip off to show us all his bits before demonstrating how to wear a condom," says Tom.
"My first sex education lesson filled me with fear, because an older pupil told me the teacher would strip off to show us all his bits before demonstrating how to wear a condom," says Tom.
"I took a seat at the back, squirming with embarrassment and anticipation, wondering where I would look when he started undressing. But it was very mundane. A fully-clothed teacher passed around the contraceptives, and the cervical cap was returned with holes wreaked by a compass."
"I took a seat at the back, squirming with embarrassment and anticipation, wondering where I would look when he started undressing. But it was very mundane. A fully-clothed teacher passed around the contraceptives, and the cervical cap was returned with holes wreaked by a compass."
At Jane's mixed grammar school, only the girls got the classes. "We didn't get them until 13 and then only if it rained, instead of PE. Our teacher was a bit doddery and clearly embarrassed. We had a textbook, but never progressed, in five years, beyond the lifecycle of a frog.
At Jane's mixed grammar school, only the girls got the classes. "We didn't get them until 13 and then only if it rained, instead of PE. Our teacher was a bit doddery and clearly embarrassed. We had a textbook, but never progressed, in five years, beyond the lifecycle of a frog.
"When one teenager got pregnant, the teacher seemed surprised: 'I can't understand it, she attended my classes'."
"When one teenager got pregnant, the teacher seemed surprised: 'I can't understand it, she attended my classes'."
The lifecycle of a frog also strikes a chord with Kathryn. "I went to a Catholic school, with nuns. They didn't do sex education - at all."Everyone paying attention?
The lifecycle of a frog also strikes a chord with Kathryn. "I went to a Catholic school, with nuns. They didn't do sex education - at all."Everyone paying attention?
And Rob recalls a video narrated by a man with a broad Scottish accent. "He referred to girls having Volvos a lot. Given my middle-class upbringing, I did not find that especially surprising."
And Rob recalls a video narrated by a man with a broad Scottish accent. "He referred to girls having Volvos a lot. Given my middle-class upbringing, I did not find that especially surprising."
Bill remembers little more than a faded animated film about VD. "The infected person had green animated dots buzzing all over them to show they had the clap."
Bill remembers little more than a faded animated film about VD. "The infected person had green animated dots buzzing all over them to show they had the clap."
Not that it's so easy to tell in real life. But another teaching aid - graphic depictions of birth or of the symptoms of sexually transmitted infections - generally provoked squirming rather than snickers.
Not that it's so easy to tell in real life. But another teaching aid - graphic depictions of birth or of the symptoms of sexually transmitted infections - generally provoked squirming rather than snickers.
For all the squirming and red faces, it can also be something of a relief to have all the weird things puberty does to your body, heart and head explained.
For all the squirming and red faces, it can also be something of a relief to have all the weird things puberty does to your body, heart and head explained.
And then go out into the school yard to find out the real story from your mates.
But even then, there may be some rather glaring gaps. Sex education at Bernard's Roman Catholic boarding school involved the headmaster inviting one boy at a time into his office. As he puffed on a cigar, he explained what "it" was all about.
"When I next went home, my mother gave me a pamphlet from the Catholic Truth Society. She asked if I understood it all, and I said I had just one question. If the man is on one side of the bed, and the woman is on the other, how does the sperm get all the way across, through the pyjamas and the nightie?
"Neither of these sources had addressed this key point."
Add your memories of sex education lessons using the form below.
Add your memories of sex education lessons using the form below.
