Would you pay £445 for a Diamond Pass with Michael J Fox?

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jul/21/comic-con-diamond-pass-michael-j-fox

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A couple of weeks ago, Jesse Eisenberg went to Comic-Con – an annual gathering in San Diego at which big stars show ecstatic fanboys new trailers of superhero movies. Eisenberg, who plays Lex Luthor in the new Superman v Batman film, was a first-timer to the event. Asked what he made of it, he said it reminded him of “some kind of genocide”.

An unfortunate comparison. Yet as someone who’s also recently popped their Comic-Con cherry, you can sort of see his point. First, there’s the heat: a product of excited crowds, many in full-body rubber (dressing as Predator is de rigueur), crammed into a convention centre with easily defeated air-conditioning. And there’s the endless screaming – though reports suggest the decibel level in the US is higher even than at the London Film and Comic-Con, which is where I spent much of last weekend.

Related: London Film and Comic-Con 2015: fans feel the force – in pictures

The UK version appears to be more intimate than US iterations. There are no sneak peaks at big blockbusters – in fact there are no screenings at all. Instead there’s a lot of selling and a lot of selfies with the stars. The main halls are ringed with desks at which sit sci-fi bit-parters, labels indicating their names (on-screen their faces are usually buried under three layers of latex), like a parents’ evening at which the chemistry teacher has a pile of glossy headshots and a pot into which you put £10.

But not everyone charges a tenner a scribble. The further you move up the scale, the more money is involved, and more partition walls introduced to offer an impression of privacy. A pic with Hayley Atwell, for instance, costs £20, while a snap with David Bradley is just £15. Some stars are so famous they have ticket categories named for them. The Michael J Fox Diamond Pass, for example, sets you back £445 and includes three photo opportunities, an autograph and a seat at a couple of talks. For his Back to the Future co-star Christopher Lloyd, it costs £140. Sigourney Weaver Diamond Passes are £395, Michael Gambon £175 and Robert Englund £135.

Such economics are fascinatingly precise. These minute differences – a fiver less for Freddy Krueger than Doc Brown – offer an unusually acute sense of someone’s value. Most of us, from journalists to nurses, checkout assistants to MPs, are paid fairly strictly according to job title. But actors, for better or worse, are almost always remunerated in exact proportion to the crowds they can command. Such a system is doubtless more fair than the alternatives. But to have your personal worth played out in public must be bizarre.

The lovely back of the bus

Related: Flat batteries on 'Boris bus' add fuel to criticism of London mayor

Slowly and sadly, the wheels appear to be falling off the new Routemaster buses. Following “doorgate”, the conductor cull and the removal of poles on some models, comes the news that the batteries on a substantial number of the fleet have already required replacement. This further queers their eco credentials and delivers another blow to all those of us who love their gleaming curves and Noddy aesthetic. Yet consolation could be just round the corner. One upside of the recent tube strike was Transport for London dusting off scores of old-style Routemasters, some in gorgeous bottle green, to help with capacity. Such vehicles afford no better place to sit in gridlocked traffic. Idle behind one on a bike and you barely mind the choking exhaust or the possibility of blind spots. Such is their loveliness, your eyes water anyway.

A new makeover plot?

DIY is now, in theory, a doddle. Enough home renovation shows have been broadcast to ensure even the clumsiest of us could install a feature wall in our sleep. Same for gardening. The sight of Monty Don potting still commands huge audiences every week. But I’ve yet to see a makeover show that tackles the grave. Tending this little plot must be a considerable challenge for many: how can you keep it ticking over despite periods of extended absence? Such a show wouldn’t even require a lot of airtime. If you can redecorate a whole house in around one hour, presumably the appropriate expert could dispatch an 8ft-long plot in a couple of minutes? Here, Tony Hall: here among the dead lies your public service silver bullet.