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'We did it, babe!' – love won the day on the same-sex marriage decision 'We did it, babe!' – love won the day on the same-sex marriage decision
(35 minutes later)
I have always been sensitive to the idea of marriage equality: my black father and white mother could not legally wed in Nebraska when they met in the 1950s, and had to go to Iowa to get married. When the Iowa courts made same-sex marriage legal in 2009, I realized that, as a gay man, I too could go to Iowa, and very few other states, to get married – just like my parents.I have always been sensitive to the idea of marriage equality: my black father and white mother could not legally wed in Nebraska when they met in the 1950s, and had to go to Iowa to get married. When the Iowa courts made same-sex marriage legal in 2009, I realized that, as a gay man, I too could go to Iowa, and very few other states, to get married – just like my parents.
Related: Supreme court: gay marriage legal across the US – live updatesRelated: Supreme court: gay marriage legal across the US – live updates
Friday’s US supreme court ruling in Obergefell v Hodges changes all of that: all state bans against gay or lesbian marriages are deemed unconstitutional, thereby allowing couples of the same gender to wed in all 50 states.Friday’s US supreme court ruling in Obergefell v Hodges changes all of that: all state bans against gay or lesbian marriages are deemed unconstitutional, thereby allowing couples of the same gender to wed in all 50 states.
Considering that America is still debating the role of the Confederate flag 150 years after the end of the American Civil War, it is a rare and wonderful thing to see the very end of one chapter of a civil rights saga less than 50 years after the Stonewall riots marked the birth of the modern LGBT rights movement. Considering that America is still debating the role of the Confederate flag 150 years after the end of the American civil war, it is a rare and wonderful thing to see the very end of one chapter of a civil rights saga less than 50 years after the Stonewall riots marked the birth of the modern LGBT rights movement.
I couldn’t be happier to see the marriage of couples like Sheila and Cathy Marino-Thomas – New Yorkers who first married Massachusetts in 2004 – finally be fully recognized. Until today, with every marriage equality win in places like Massachusetts, Iowa and New York, there had been an equivocation: a marriage recognized in one state wasn’t legal in another. My home state of California voted (while electing Barack Obama president) to deny marriage rights to same sex couples with Prop 8. A town clerk could even try to deny rights to a same-sex couple already affirmed by a US supreme court Justice. I couldn’t be happier to see the marriage of couples like Sheila and Cathy Marino-Thomas – New Yorkers who first married Massachusetts in 2004 – finally be fully recognized. Until today, with every marriage equality win in places like Massachusetts, Iowa and New York, there had been an equivocation: a marriage recognized in one state wasn’t legal in another. My home state of California voted (while electing Barack Obama president) to deny marriage rights to same-sex couples with Prop 8. A town clerk could even try to deny rights to a same-sex couple already affirmed by a US supreme court justice.
No more.No more.
“We did it, babe!” Cathy Marino-Thomas told me from Henrietta Hudson’s, a lesbian bar in Greenwich Village. “I had to down my first bottle of champagne,” she said, en route to the Stonewall Inn, where the gay rights movement blew up 46 years ago this weekend.“We did it, babe!” Cathy Marino-Thomas told me from Henrietta Hudson’s, a lesbian bar in Greenwich Village. “I had to down my first bottle of champagne,” she said, en route to the Stonewall Inn, where the gay rights movement blew up 46 years ago this weekend.
Marriage wasn’t legal in New York State in 2009, my current home state then, when I was I first met Marino-Thomas, then the board president of Marriage Equality New York; it seemed so remote that our interview was titled “Who Do We Have To Blow To Get Gay Marriage?” (Six years later, Marino-Thomas, who has kept her sense of humor through a lot of disappointment, finally told me the answer on Friday: “Justice Kennedy. And he tasted good!”) Marriage wasn’t legal in New York state in 2009 when I was I first met Marino-Thomas, then the board president of Marriage Equality New York; it seemed so remote that our interview was titled: “Who Do We Have To Blow To Get Gay Marriage?” (Six years later, Marino-Thomas, who has kept her sense of humor through a lot of disappointment, finally told me the answer on Friday: “Justice Kennedy. And he tasted good!”)
In the intervening years, kids chained themselves to the marriage bureau and drag queens shut down Sixth Avenue in New York City in courageous, street-level protests to draw attention to the need for marriage equality. I sat with Marino-Thomas, her wife Sheila and their daughter Jacqui as they cried during the many setbacks – and I have cried with them, because their losses were hurt me, too. In the intervening years, kids chained themselves to the marriage bureau and drag queens shut down Sixth Avenue in New York City in courageous, street-level protests to draw attention to the need for marriage equality. I sat with Marino-Thomas, her wife Sheila and their daughter Jacqui as they cried during the many setbacks – and I have cried with them, because their losses hurt me, too.
And on a warm night in Albany in 2011, I was in the New York Senate gallery when marriage equality passed the New York Legislature and Governor Andrew Cuomo signed it into law. (Brian Brown, the leader of the anti-gay – and now completely pointless – organization Nation for Marriage bawled his head off with disappointment, and I couldn’t have enjoyed myself more.) I witnessed 11 same-sex weddings the first day of gay nuptials a month later, as New York State opened government offices on a Sunday to allow couples to finally marry, and was especially touched to be asked by a lesbian who had been at the Stonewall Riots to sign her marriage license as a witness. And on a warm night in Albany in 2011, I was in the New York senate gallery when marriage equality passed the New York legislature and Governor Andrew Cuomo signed it into law. (Brian Brown, the leader of the anti-gay – and now completely pointless – organization Nation for Marriage bawled his head off with disappointment, and I couldn’t have enjoyed myself more.) I witnessed 11 same-sex weddings the first day of gay nuptials a month later, as New York state opened government offices on a Sunday to allow couples to finally marry, and was especially touched to be asked by a lesbian who had been at the Stonewall riots to sign her marriage license as a witness.
There was then a still a long way to go: the United States government did not recognize New York’s or any state’s same-sex marriages. There was then still a long way to go: the United States government did not recognize New York’s or any state’s same-sex marriages.
But Edith Windsor, an octogenarian widow who was given a hefty tax bill after her wife Thea Spyer died, was about to help change all that. The thought that same-sex marriage would be legalized by the conservative-leaning Roberts court was still so transgressive that most of the LGBT organizations didn’t want to help her. (Windsor was no stranger to transgression: during the four decades that she and Spyer spent together, Windsor wore a brooch instead of a ring to symbolize her love for Spyer so that people wouldn’t know she was a lesbian, as she could have been legally fired if they did – which is still true for most LGBT people in most states today.) But Edith Windsor, an octogenarian widow who was given a hefty tax bill after her wife, Thea Spyer, died, was about to help change all that. The thought that same-sex marriage would be legalized by the conservative-leaning Roberts court was still so transgressive that most of the LGBT organizations didn’t want to help her. (Windsor was no stranger to transgression: during the four decades that she and Spyer spent together, Windsor wore a brooch instead of a ring to symbolize her love for Spyer so that people wouldn’t know she was a lesbian, as she could have been legally fired if they did – which is still true for most LGBT people in most states today.)
It was another honor to watch Windsor’s case argued in federal court, to ask her about her disdain for Republicans who wanted her to pay more taxes after her first federal victory, and to interview her about the meaning of love after her ultimate victory at the US supreme court in 2013.It was another honor to watch Windsor’s case argued in federal court, to ask her about her disdain for Republicans who wanted her to pay more taxes after her first federal victory, and to interview her about the meaning of love after her ultimate victory at the US supreme court in 2013.
Related: Supreme court's gay marriage ruling: a day of elation, but decades of activismRelated: Supreme court's gay marriage ruling: a day of elation, but decades of activism
But even after Windsor’s win and the simultaneous decision to strike down Prop 8, legal confusion remained about the rights of same-sex couples to marry. Friday’s ruling ends that confusion, at least in a legal sense – but the history of interracial marriage in America suggests that there might be some extra-legal hold-outs. But even after Windsor’s win and the simultaneous decision to strike down Prop 8, legal confusion remained about the rights of same-sex couples to marry. Friday’s ruling ends that confusion, at least in a legal sense – but the history of interracial marriage in America suggests that there might be some extra-legal holdouts.
Though my parents were legally wed in Iowa 1958, many states wouldn’t recognize their union until 1967, when the Supreme Court ruled in Loving v Virginia that all states had to recognize interracial marriages. Even then, the last state to change its laws about interracial marriage was Alabama, and that wasn’t until 2000 – and when voters decided whether or not to bring their unconstitutional law into line with the 1967 ruling, 40% voted not to do so. Though my parents were legally wed in Iowa 1958, many states wouldn’t recognize their union until 1967, when the supreme court ruled in Loving v Virginia that all states had to recognize interracial marriages. Even then, the last state to change its laws about interracial marriage was Alabama, and that wasn’t until 2000 – and when voters decided whether or not to bring their unconstitutional law into line with the 1967 ruling, 40% voted not to do so.
And marriage equality is just one front for LGBT rights: full LGBT equality, which includes economic justice, gender identity, immigration rights and racial liberation, is far from assured. HIV/Aids, still flourishing in the black gay community and ignored of late by gay rights organizations as less sexy than marriage equality, needs the robust and committed attention of the LGBT community. Jennicet Gutiérrez, the transgender woman who yelled at President Obama at the White House Pride reception this week, was right to harness the spirit of Stonewall in standing up for immigrant rights. Transgender Americans, the oft forgotten “T” in LGBT, have rightly been protesting their regular murder and the ways their bodies and citizenship are policed by officers and society at large. Similarly, the queer black voices from Ferguson to Baltimore have been pushing back against police brutality as our Stonewall ancestors did. And marriage equality is just one front for LGBT rights: full LGBT equality, which includes economic justice, gender identity, immigration rights and racial liberation, is far from assured. HIV/Aids, still flourishing in the black gay community and ignored of late by gay rights organizations as less sexy than marriage equality, needs the robust and committed attention of the LGBT community. Jennicet Gutiérrez, the transgender woman who yelled at Barack Obama at the White House Pride reception this week, was right to harness the spirit of Stonewall in standing up for immigrant rights. Transgender Americans, the oft forgotten “T” in LGBT, have rightly been protesting their regular murder and the ways their bodies and citizenship are policed by officers and society at large. Similarly, the queer black voices from Ferguson to Baltimore have been pushing back against police brutality as our Stonewall ancestors did.
But today, one chapter in our fight is closed. Love has triumphed. Let’s enjoy the rare moment of a battle definitively won – and then, armed with love and victory, let’s march forward until there is full liberation for all of our queer brothers and sisters, married and single alike.But today, one chapter in our fight is closed. Love has triumphed. Let’s enjoy the rare moment of a battle definitively won – and then, armed with love and victory, let’s march forward until there is full liberation for all of our queer brothers and sisters, married and single alike.