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Sure, I could exercise common sense when I email people. But unsend is easier Sure, I could exercise common sense when I email people. But unsend is easier
(about 1 hour later)
There are several perfectly kind emails in my sent messages folder – emails that portray me as a reasonable person, one who is willing to share, care and compromise.There are several perfectly kind emails in my sent messages folder – emails that portray me as a reasonable person, one who is willing to share, care and compromise.
Then there are those in which it seems as if it’s high time for me to get an exorcism.Then there are those in which it seems as if it’s high time for me to get an exorcism.
Related: An end to email shame? Gmail's 'Undo Send' comes to the masses
Searching for a certain email address, I count five emails to a past love in which I refer to him as an “asshole”. In one, I write it out in all caps so that he fully understands the depth of my hatred; in the next, I refer to him as a “capricious asshole” to give the illusion that there is some intelligence to go along with a mouth fit for a sailor. There’s one email that was particularly cringeworthy – simply a string of four letter words that would make even the surliest of people blush. I replied to that one two minutes later, groveling, and ending with words of love.Searching for a certain email address, I count five emails to a past love in which I refer to him as an “asshole”. In one, I write it out in all caps so that he fully understands the depth of my hatred; in the next, I refer to him as a “capricious asshole” to give the illusion that there is some intelligence to go along with a mouth fit for a sailor. There’s one email that was particularly cringeworthy – simply a string of four letter words that would make even the surliest of people blush. I replied to that one two minutes later, groveling, and ending with words of love.
Rereading them after seven years, I wonder who the young writer was and why she did not know the meaning of “restraint”.Rereading them after seven years, I wonder who the young writer was and why she did not know the meaning of “restraint”.
I am that woman about whom my exes whisper to other people. I am that friend who sips an alcoholic beverage with one hand as my thumb hovers over the send button of my Gmail account, certain that this very second is the best time respond to any email (or, let’s face it, to any message on any electronic medium) with little thought to the implications of my words. In vino veritas, they say – and my penchant for honesty while drinking it goes well beyond calling a former boyfriend a few choice words. Going back through thousands of sent Gmail messages on my computer, I foundnd some that strike a polite, almost conciliatory tone and others forced me to bury my head into my pillow. I picked up my phone to write a quick, sober, text message to a long-ago friend regarding an email sent sometime in 2005.I am that woman about whom my exes whisper to other people. I am that friend who sips an alcoholic beverage with one hand as my thumb hovers over the send button of my Gmail account, certain that this very second is the best time respond to any email (or, let’s face it, to any message on any electronic medium) with little thought to the implications of my words. In vino veritas, they say – and my penchant for honesty while drinking it goes well beyond calling a former boyfriend a few choice words. Going back through thousands of sent Gmail messages on my computer, I foundnd some that strike a polite, almost conciliatory tone and others forced me to bury my head into my pillow. I picked up my phone to write a quick, sober, text message to a long-ago friend regarding an email sent sometime in 2005.
“Do you remember that time…” I start. What am I supposed to write? That time that was a horrible human being? That time I called him names? That time I decided to be overly flirtatious on a Wednesday night?“Do you remember that time…” I start. What am I supposed to write? That time that was a horrible human being? That time I called him names? That time I decided to be overly flirtatious on a Wednesday night?
In the 15 seconds that I paused to choose my words to text about an email sent over ten years ago, I suddenly see that perhaps having had time to retract that email I still regret could have prevented many wounds. I delete and type instead, “I’m sorry I used to speak before thinking about my words. I hope you are well.”In the 15 seconds that I paused to choose my words to text about an email sent over ten years ago, I suddenly see that perhaps having had time to retract that email I still regret could have prevented many wounds. I delete and type instead, “I’m sorry I used to speak before thinking about my words. I hope you are well.”
My walk down Memory Lane was prompted by Gmail’s unveiling of the unsend feature for the masses on Tuesday. I am here for it: moonwalking, telling Google’s tech team to come through and help save me from myself.My walk down Memory Lane was prompted by Gmail’s unveiling of the unsend feature for the masses on Tuesday. I am here for it: moonwalking, telling Google’s tech team to come through and help save me from myself.
Undo gives users the option to send an email and then still have up to 30 seconds to hit “undo”, sending the missive back into draft mode for you to make the necessary corrections or hit the delete button and never speak of it again. It’s a feature that, had I had it years ago, would’ve meant that much of the regrettable (but now slightly entertaining) things I wrote in the past would now be easily prevented with a flick of the wrist. Testing it out for myself, I found that 30 seconds was best for my brain to catch up to my admittedly big mouth, but others can choose between 10, 15, 20 and 30 seconds to see the error of their ways.Undo gives users the option to send an email and then still have up to 30 seconds to hit “undo”, sending the missive back into draft mode for you to make the necessary corrections or hit the delete button and never speak of it again. It’s a feature that, had I had it years ago, would’ve meant that much of the regrettable (but now slightly entertaining) things I wrote in the past would now be easily prevented with a flick of the wrist. Testing it out for myself, I found that 30 seconds was best for my brain to catch up to my admittedly big mouth, but others can choose between 10, 15, 20 and 30 seconds to see the error of their ways.
What took them so long?What took them so long?
In the 11 years that I’ve had my Gmail account there are, of course, many times when I wish I could take back what I wrote; that those moments are now few and far between is a sign of maturity, I like to tell myself. Still, I welcome Gmail’s new feature with open arms. Though it won’t replace the common sense for which I ought to be striving, it does give me – the one with the mouth, the one who is quick to judge, the one who enjoys liquid courage – up to 30 seconds of breathing room before telling someone off. And, really, that’s all I need.In the 11 years that I’ve had my Gmail account there are, of course, many times when I wish I could take back what I wrote; that those moments are now few and far between is a sign of maturity, I like to tell myself. Still, I welcome Gmail’s new feature with open arms. Though it won’t replace the common sense for which I ought to be striving, it does give me – the one with the mouth, the one who is quick to judge, the one who enjoys liquid courage – up to 30 seconds of breathing room before telling someone off. And, really, that’s all I need.
At least, that’s all I need to come up with something more cutting than “capricious asshole”.At least, that’s all I need to come up with something more cutting than “capricious asshole”.