How to deal with sexism and racism? What about some shock treatment

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jun/01/sexism-racism-race-gender-equality

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In an experiment that sounds as though it is owed directly to Brave New World, scientists at Northwestern University, Illinois, have found that sleep training can reduce levels of unconscious sexist and racist bias. Such experiments may sound like science fiction, but when it comes to the intractable problems of structural sexism and racism, why not try anything?

Lean against a bar in this country and eventually you’ll encounter an “I’m not racist, but … ” rant (always a clear indicator that what you’re about to hear will make Katie Hopkins sound like Ruth First). Let’s not forget that our Glorious Overlord, David “calm down, dear, it’s only another closed-down women’s refuge” Cameron took an all-expenses paid trip to apartheid South Africa and belongs to a party which, in Lambeth in 1964, distributed leaflets which read: “If you desire a coloured for a neighbour, vote Labour. If you are already burdened with one, vote Tory.” And if you think that times have changed since then, consider last year’s Social Attitudes Survey, or the fact that Roy Chubby Brown is still touring. Meanwhile the Everyday Sexism Twitter feed, the rape conviction rate, the fact that two women a week are murdered by their male partners, all stand testament to the fact that gender equality is a long way off.

It’s long been said that the left has censorious tendencies, that we try to ban anything “politically incorrect” like a bunch of muesli-eating Mary Whitehouses without the eerily static hair (the only quality shared by conservatives and their superiors in senses both moral and rhythmic: drag queens). Such disapproval serves to push bigots underground to places where they feel more comfortable “telling it how it is”, like beleaguered Clarksons. If we’re to achieve the peaceful, tolerant utopia so many of us crave it’s time to step it up. So, kindly suspend your disbelief, not to mention all of your knowledge of science and logic for a moment, and consider the following tactics:

Cognitive behavioural therapy for newspapers

The fact that there are people in this country who believe everything the newspapers say has been underplayed in the wake of the election, with cries that it’s patronising to assume the public cannot critically analyse the media they are presented with. (Are you seriously saying you’ve never been lectured about health tourism by someone else’s nan?)

Cognitive behavioural therapy helps people with depression and anxiety challenge negative thoughts through contradictory statements. What if we did the same with newspapers, so that every hate-mongering piece of anti-immigration rhetoric had to be accompanied by statistics on, say, the number of lives saved by doctors who have chosen to come and work here?

Empathy transplants

Which, like the contraceptive pill, would be free on the NHS. You could take a tablet at the same time every day; have a chip in your arm or even an injection in your backside every three months, and suddenly you’re full to the brim with empathy and love for your fellow (wo)man. Side effects may include tender nipples, discharge, and crying all the time.

Re-education seminars

Not quite on the same level as A Clockwork Orange’s Ludovico technique, but serial bigots are bussed to a secret facility wherein their eyes are kept open with specula as they watch repeats of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Thelma and Louise, This is England, 12 Years a Slave, Schindler’s List and Erin Brockovich. Bedtime reading includes Alice Walker, James Baldwin, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie and Simone de Beauvoir while Strange Fruit and I am Woman, Here Me Roar is piped into your quarters as you sleep.

Chicken court

Anyone making a prejudicial statement in public shall automatically qualify for this new reality television show where they must stand in front of a live audience dressed in a chicken suit and repeat said statement while doing the David Brent dance as information disproving their argument flashes up on a screen behind them. Their opinions are then put to a public vote.

Freaky-Friday fortune cookies

Coming soon to a store near you – switch bodies for 24 hours with a less privileged member of society and experience your narrow little world view open up faster than the doors of the Garrick Club when confronted with a rich elderly white gentleman.

Womad

Constituencies in which there is a high proportion of Ukip voters shall be legally required to host the world-music festival on a rotating basis.

Fancy dress legislation

Anyone who opted for a “hilarious” topical, sexist or racist fancy dress ensemble shall be legally required to remain in costume for a period of no less than a year, going about their daily lives and responding truthfully to any questions the general public may have about their attire as and when they arise.

Walk two moons workshops for men

As the saying goes, “Don’t judge a woman until you have walked two moons in her four-and-a-half-inch platform heels from New Look and wearing tights in which the elastic has gone while you’re trying to stop a thong from burying itself deeper between your arse cheeks as men on the street shout sexually aggressive abuse at you while reminding you that your reproductive rights are under threat.”

MDMA

Congratulations! Your bigoted statements around the breakfast table have seen your friends and family nominate you for this one-off chemical trial. Please see enclosed baggy. For your allocated destination, you have a choice between Notting Hill Carnival or your mate Dawn’s “Better off without the bastard” final decree Ann Summers party.

Or how about we just establish a progressive, tolerant democracy in which people from every colour, creed and sexual orientation see themselves reflected back by those working in politics, the media, sport, culture, academia and the judiciary. With equal rights for all.

It’s a long shot, though.