West Indies v England: second Test – as it happened

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/live/2015/apr/22/west-indies-v-england-second-test-live

Version 0 of 1.

11.04pm BST23:04

Pretty good day, for England, if only in the end. They started well with the ball, but the last-wicket stand took West Indies to where they wanted to be after the toss. Thing is, if Cook and Trott can play themselves into confidence and form, the significance might override whatever happens in this game and series; they’ve made a handy start at that, both nurdling and leaving with the elan to which we’ve become accustomed.

Anyroad, thanks all for your company - night-night.

Updated at 11.12pm BST

11.01pm BST23:01

Close of play: England 74-0, responding to West Indies 299 all out.

Off they go. Not being in Grenada is starting to grate.

11.00pm BST23:00

26th over: England 74-0 (Cook 37, Trott 32) Leg slip in for Cook to encourage the shot through midwicket, but can’t see him trying much in the time that remains. His sleeves are very short and tight around the biceps and triceps. Maiden.

10.58pm BST22:58

25th over: England 74-0 (Cook 37, Trott 32) Bishoo tries a googly, but it’s too full to spin properly, a half-volley, basically, and Trott shuffles into it, ramming four through cover. Bishoo improves the length, though, and the next googly deceives Trott and bounces more too - he gets out of the way, though, and then at over, the meter comes out again, but the umpires are happy for the now.

10.54pm BST22:54

24th over: England 70-0 (Cook 37, Trott 28) Samuels to continue, and Trott shoves a single into the off-side. Two slips and a short-leg in for Cook, who’s playing with confidence now, and he easily gets rid of the over - can’t be many remaining, it’s pretty dinge out there.

Updated at 10.55pm BST

10.52pm BST22:52

23rd over: England 69-0 (Cook 37, Trott 27) On the pads from Bishoo, and Cook is onto it in a trice, whipping it to backward-square-leg for four. Then, Bishoo drifts one that hurries off the pitch and into the pad - there’s a brief appeal, but it pitched outside leg and was missing off.

10.49pm BST22:49

22nd over: England 65-0 (Cook 33, Trott 27) Samuels on, and Trott gives him nothing, obviously. It’s such a pleasure to see him ensconcing again.

10.47pm BST22:47

21st over: England 65-0 (Cook 33, Trott 27) The sun’s gone behind the stand, so they reckon we won’t get all of the remaining nine overs - and this yin’s a maiden. The light meters are out, and here’s John Starbuck:

“A 50-run opening partnership is really the minimum requirement, isn’t it? What do Cook and Trott have to do to convince everyone?”

I was just wondering about this - a ton here isn’t going to do it, I don’t think. They’ll need runs against New Zealand, I suppose, and even then, given what comes next, no one’s getting satisfied until it’s proven against them.

Updated at 10.50pm BST

10.44pm BST22:44

20th over: England 65-0 (Cook 33, Trott 27) Trott persuades Holder to bowl straight to him, so Trott hops inside and deflects two through midwicket in vintage fashion. And then again, as Holder seeks an lbw or a bowled - he’s looking comfortable now, well, by his standards, and then he soft-hands an edge for four. Expansive stuff.

Updated at 10.45pm BST

10.39pm BST22:39

19th over: England 57-0 (Cook 33, Trott 19) Cook tickles a half-volley that beats the dive of slip - but it might’ve been a bump ball. Either way, it’s four, and persuades him to get even further forward subsequently, smothering any spin and increasing distance to eager hands.

Updated at 11.01pm BST

10.36pm BST22:36

18th over: England 53-0 (Cook 29, Trott 19) By the look of it, we’ll be able to go on a little longer than last night, where the finish time was about 10.45. Anyway, Trott flips two around the corner, for two, then gets another on his pads and turns it away firmly to fine-leg for four; that’s his and Cook’s first 50 opening partnership.

10.31pm BST22:31

17th over: England 47-0 (Cook 29, Trott 13) Cook goes to turn Bishoo to leg, but it pops up off the bat, close enough to Blackwod at short-leg. It’s quick, but is also what he’s there for - rather, for what he’s there - and that makes it a drop.

10.29pm BST22:29

16th over: England 45-0 (Cook 27, Trott 13) Cook seizes onto a half-tracker from a back over the wicket Holder - it pops up into his slot on off, and he clumps it for four to midwicket, with authority. He tries again next ball, but pulls it slightly, to square-leg, where there’s a fielder, so, they, run, one. In commentary, Jeff Dujon is saying that Pat Patterson hit the gloves hardest of all the ridiculously hard-hitting men he faced, and Athers lets on that Gooch cited him as the only bowler he felt might be so quick that there was nothing he could do to avoid being hit.

10.24pm BST22:24

15th over: England 40-0 (Cook 22, Trott 13) Ohhhhh, that was close. Bishoo finds drift, dip and turn, pitching on leg and nipping into Trott’s pad. There’s an appeal, but that wasn’t hitting. Another maiden.

10.21pm BST22:21

14th over: England 40-0 (Cook 22, Trott 13) Holder’s around the wicket now, but he’s still not making Cook play enough. I wonder if he’s noticed that Cook’s bat, gloves and spikes are all matchy-matchy fluorescent yellow with blue - that would surely give him some encouragement. Maiden, but of the frumpiest variety.

Updated at 10.23pm BST

10.17pm BST22:17

13th over: England 40-0 (Cook 22, Trott 13) Bishoo’s leg-spin into the attack, and Trott tries to have him through the leg-side first up - but finds the fielder. Then, he defends, before glancing one to deep-square-leg, and Cook shovels the same to the same.

10.12pm BST22:12

12th over: England 38-0 (Cook 21, Trott 12) Cook and Trott, desperate for runs, a slow track, an attack missing it’s best bowler; this is going to be one for the purists. Trott nurdles a single to leg, and, er that’s it - Holder will need to do better than that.

10.09pm BST22:09

11th over: England 37-0 (Cook 21, Trott 11) Not sure what was in Roach’s drink, but his first ball is a wide full-toss, oddly, at the death in T20, it might have been ok, but in a Test, it’s quickly ushered to the fence by Cook. Roach responds well, though, beating the bat and folding Cook before hitting his midriff - there’s a brief appeal, but it was plenty high.

Elsewhere, Alex Netherton has words of encouragement for our media coverage. “Ian Ward and Nick Knight are two of the most boring middle management in the world. Bob Willis drives me to suicide with his weariness and complaints. Ian Botham is Jeremy Clarkson but more chance to talk about himself. Michael Vaughan, Shane Warne and Graeme Swann honestly can’t believe how good they are at talking about cricket and what they got up to last night. If you don’t know what they got up to last night, by the way, you can check all of social media to find out until they inevitably tell you, at length, anyway. Hussain, Holding and Atherton remain excellent, but you get the impression that everyone else resents that because they can’t be bothered to work out why. I think another problem is there’s too little time to do much more than just analyse ball-by-ball in T20, which isn’t what cricket analysis should really be about, and that’s bleeding into longer forms of the game.”

I’d agree that TMS is perhaps missing an interesting civilian or two - the patter isn’t as idiosyncratic, eccentric or fun as once was. Sky to me seems same as it ever was.

10.02pm BST22:02

10th over: England 31-0 (Cook 15, Trott 11) Jason Holder, the lion of Antigua, comes into the attack for the first time. Trott plays out another maiden.

And that’s drinks. Right, that’s it from me. Daniel Harris is arriving to take you through to the close on his technicolour bus o’bantz .

9.57pm BST21:57

9th over: England 31-0 (Cook 15, Trott 11) Roach continues. Cook stays watchful. There’s been something very Test Cricket about this Test so far. The rain, the nicks, the struggle for wickets … everything has been very Test Cricket. And it seems to suit this opening pair, who are beginning to look entirely comfortable now.

Updated at 10.10pm BST

9.53pm BST21:53

8th over: England 29-0 (Cook 13, Trott 11) Gabriel rumbles in for what might be one final effort. Another big no ball adds an extra to the England tally. Trott leans into the next and guides neatly through the covers for an easy two.

9.46pm BST21:46

7th over: England 26-0 (Cook 13, Trott 9) Cook lines up another Roach over pretty well. A maiden.

9.43pm BST21:43

6th over: England 26-0 (Cook 13, Trott 9) Gabriel gives Cook nothing until the last, which is a touch too short, too straight. The England captain clips for a single.

“Watching these two bat is a bit like watching a tight rope walker whos been blind folded,” writes Martin Laidler. “Your just waiting for the inevitable slip.” Philippe Petit knows a bit about that.

9.37pm BST21:37

5th over: England 25-0 (Cook 12, Trott 9) Shot! This is vintage Jonathan Trott – working a good length ball, angled in on middle stump, wide of midwicket for four. The third perhaps keeps a little low outside off, beating a prod from Trott.

9.32pm BST21:32

4th over: England 20-0 (Cook 12, Trott 5) Gabriel’s turn to beat the outside edge, though Cook might justifiably suggest he was simply playing inside the line. That was from the first ball, but from the third he definitely has a little fish outside off and again the ball zips past the edge. It’s a maiden.

Updated at 10.48pm BST

9.27pm BST21:27

3rd over: England 20-0 (Cook 12, Trott 5) Trott is a whisker away from castling himself, an inside edge of a Roach delivery that seamed in just a touch zipping past the stumps. Both batsmen have looked a bit twitchy, but it’s to be expected – they’re two players in twitchy form playing in about as twitchy a period of play as you can imagine.

9.23pm BST21:23

2nd over: England 16-0 (Cook 12, Trott 1) Gabriel at the other end and goes straight to the top of the speed charts with a 92.6mph delivery. Cook strikes the first boundary of the innings but not very confidently, dabbing down through the slips for four. The bowler then oversteps – twice – by a pretty wide margin, before offering Cook a half-tracker that he gleefully pivot-pulls away for four more. And again Trott faces the last … this time getting off the mark courtesy of a Bishoo misfield.

9.15pm BST21:15

1st over: England 4-0 (Cook 3, Trott 0) In theory there’s 29 overs remaining in the day, though to be honest I doubt they’ll get many more than 20 in. Roach finds a nice length early on and some decent movement, the third ball beating the outside edge of a rather uncertain prod from the England captain. The fifth, though, strays to the pads and Cook is able to flick to leg and scamper three. Trott blocks the last.

Updated at 10.08pm BST

9.10pm BST21:10

The players are out on the field. Kemar Roach has the ball in hand, Alastair Cook is taking guard …

8.59pm BST20:59

Hello again. The players will be back out in around 10 minutes for what will be a reduced session. In theory they can play until 11pm BST, but the light means they’ll struggle to go on much beyond 10.30pm.

8.52pm BST20:52

So, that’ll be tea - I’m off for mine, and John Ashdown will guide you through the start of Cook and Trott’s tons.

8.51pm BST20:51

West Indies 299 all out

Actually, it’s closer than it looks, the ball clipping off-bail, but he’s gone nonetheless. What a great partnership, but.

8.50pm BST20:50

WICKET! Bishoo lbw b Ali 30 (West Indies 299 all out)

Bishoo gets down on one knee, sweeps misses, and look plumb. They review, but because they can, I expect...

Updated at 8.50pm BST

8.49pm BST20:49

105th over: West Indies 299-9 (Bishoo 30, Gabriel 20) Moeen’s little arm stretch in delivery stride minds of those clip-on soft toys that were de rigeur in the 80s...

8.47pm BST20:47

104th over: West Indies 298-9 (Bishoo 30, Gabriel 19) Jordan is roond-moothing a fair bit, as though things are close, but they’re not really. What a partnership this is, almost entirely untroubled, and confident, aggressive and crucial. And oh ho ho, Bishoo goes over mid-off, and there’s consternation in the field as the ball dashes to the fence. So Jordan goes around the wicket, noch besser, as my gran would’ve said, and Bishoo goes over the infield again, earning two more.

8.43pm BST20:43

103rd over: West Indies 290-9 (Bishoo 22, Gabriel 19) Moeen into the attack, and Gabriel immediately reclines onto one knee to swipe over to cow corner - except he misses. This provides a moment of clarity, and he forces the next ball to point, for two, except it’s one short. Tea is delayed - Beefy is naused.

8.39pm BST20:39

102nd over: West Indies 289-9 (Bishoo 22, Gabriel 18) Bishoo drives Jordan’s first ball uppishly, towards mid-off, tantalising Broad with the prospect of a catch. He dashes, dives, and can’t quite get there. Jordan then sends down a bouncer, a much nastier one than before, straight and towards the jaw - Gabriel watches it well, and sways, Robin Smith-style, into limbo position. Very nice. And then, after a single, Bishoo guides two more towards cover - he looks very comfy indeed.

8.36pm BST20:36

101st over: West Indies 285-9 (Bishoo 19, Gabriel 17) Stokes gives Gabriel a little width outside off, so he swings hard, taking it through midwicket for four and thusly earning his highest Test score. Apparently, he plans to sort a higher batting average than Curtly, and he adds a single, before Bishoo caresses four more through the covers - it’s not happening for Stokes today, or at least not yet. Those of us who’ve played the game know that there’s nothing more annoying than last-wicket runs, but for those who’ve not, what in life, apart from life itself, do you find most aggravating?

8.31pm BST20:31

100th over: West Indies 275-9 (Bishoo 14, Gabriel 12) The non-wicket ball was close to a no-ball, and then there is a no-ball, after which Gabriel declines an easy single; he’s strictly a boundary boy. This partnership is now 28 off 6.4 overs.

8.29pm BST20:29

NOT OUT

Pitched outside leg.

8.28pm BST20:28

100th over: West Indies 274-9 (Bishoo 14, Gabriel 12) Jordan tries a short one at Gabriel, but it’s not well-directed - leg-side means he can let it by, and then comes a leg-bye. Jordan then finds a fuller length, it pitches perhaps in line, hits perhaps in line, umpire says no - and England review...

Updated at 8.28pm BST

8.25pm BST20:25

99th over: West Indies 273-9 (Bishoo 14, Gabriel 12) You’ve got to hand it to auspicious honourable Prime Minister, there was not the slightest pretense at not simply telling people to come to Grenada because it’s nice. Stokes comes on, and Gabriel tries a drive, inside-edging through mid-on for two. Then, a single brings Bishoo onto strike, and he plays down to mid-off beautifully, adding four to the total; this will be starting to nauseate England, all the more so when two more are clipped towards midwicket. Gosh, and there it goes again, eased into the off-side and Broad, who can’t have relished being taken out of the attack, has to chase - they run two more.

8.19pm BST20:19

98th over: West Indies 262-9 (Bishoo 6, Gabriel 9) Jordan into the attack, and the Prime Minister into the commentary box, to advertise Grenada’s tourism industry. Oh, and he’s got some insights as to how to use conventional swing when bowling at tailenders, of course. Jordan’s not quite found his line, here - one off the over.

8.15pm BST20:15

97th over: West Indies 261-9 (Bishoo 6, Gabriel 8) Bishoo looks confident enough playing Anderson, though ducks into one that snicks his midriff, bacon-slice-style. But next ball, he’s back playing straight, and that’s another maiden.

8.12pm BST20:12

96th over: West Indies 261-9 (Bishoo 6, Gabriel 8) West Indies have probably just this over to survive before any wicket means tea, not England coming out to bat. Broad is into this now, spiriting two past Bishoo’s outside-edge, before a dab into the off-side gets him off strike, and gives Gabriel the chance to hoist six over midwicket! He stands, waits, and wallops it ridiculously high, but with enough power to apparently clear the fence - the umpires check, but the cameras didn’t catch it through the air. Still, decent figures for this spell of 8-4-19-3.

8.07pm BST20:07

95th over: West Indies 254-9 (Bishoo 5, Gabriel 2) Gabriel fancies playing some shots, or getting the ball in his hand, and tries a drive, taking a single to mid-on when he edges. Then Bishoo shows him how it’s done, bashing through point to the fence, and then takes a snide single to Broad at mid-off. But, either because he does’t want to hit short-leg, or wants to make sure and reckons he’s more time than he has, the throw is lobbed, and Gabriel arrives at the crease in time.

8.03pm BST20:03

94th over: West Indies 248-9 (Bishoo 0, Gabriel 1) Gabriel gets off the mark turning Broad to fine-leg, and that’s the end of another decent over. It’s been an interesting spell, this - he’s not used the help that’s available, but has kept it tight and induced errors.

7.58pm BST19:58

WICKET! Roach c Root b Broad 1 (West Indies 247-9)

This is a really good ball, slightly fuller than Broad’s usual length, but still bouncing enough to surprise Roach when he presses forwards. He edges onto the pad, the ball bounces to gully, and he celebrates well before the finger - at first glance, because that’s what he does when it’s lb, on second because it’s actually out caught.

Updated at 9.00pm BST

7.57pm BST19:57

93rd over: West Indies 247-8 ( Roach 1, Bishoo 0) Anderson has an over at Bishoo, and he’s found a good length, but still isn’t there consistently with the line. Bishoo tries one drive, but otherwise is happy to do as little as possible. Maiden.

“Re: Ali non-catch,” tweets Neil Delaney, “TV pics always look like the ball hasn’t quite carried but did you ever see Dermot Reeve’s c4 demonstration?”

Don’t think I did, but yep, I agree, that’s so - but I still don’t think that one did.

7.52pm BST19:52

92nd over: West Indies 247-8 ( Roach 1, Bishoo 0) Roach plays out another maiden, though Broad doesn’t make him play as much as he’d like, nor does he threaten. It’s tricky for Alastair Cook - Broad’s bowling ok, but given the swing, perhaps someone who uses it could have greater impact. Anyway, that’s drinks.

“Was the Broad wicket ball really 91 mph or did I hallucinate?” asks Chris Seymour. I know which I’d be hoping was so if I was you. Let us know of any further visions.

Updated at 7.53pm BST

7.48pm BST19:48

91st over: West Indies 247-8 ( Roach 1, Bishoo 0) Anderson will want Bishoo on strike as soon as possible, and Roach doesn’t mind either, dragging him through for a quick single to cover. But he defends confidently enough.

“With reference to Gary Naylor’s comment,” emails Richard Thomson, “this England team is still the most ungracious, unloveable side I have ever had the misfortune to be supposed to support. I now support everyone but England in cricket.”

Hmmm - I find Buttler, Anderson, Moeen, Stokes, Jordan, Root and Trott fairly likeable.

7.42pm BST19:42

WICKET! Holder c Buttler b Broad 22 (West Indies 246-8)

What a strange innings that was. Broad tries another short one, then goes fuller with a wobble-seam cutter, and an attempted drive yields a regulation catch behind. I really don’t know why Holder felt so impelled to play in that manner.

Updated at 7.53pm BST

7.42pm BST19:42

90th over: West Indies 246-7 (Holder 22, Roach 0) It’s surprising that Holder played that shot, and he’s much more circumspect through the rest of the over - until he slams six more to wide long-on!

7.38pm BST19:38

NO WICKET!

That looks right.

7.38pm BST19:38

They go upstairs, and it doesn’t look like a catch to me...

...

7.37pm BST19:37

WICKET! Holder c Ali b Broad 16 (West Indies 240-7)

Holder pulls, doesn’t get it up or down, and Ali, not quite stuck-on at square-leg, dives forward to take an iffy catch - he shrugs, but seems to think he got it.

Updated at 7.49pm BST

7.35pm BST19:35

89th over: West Indies 240-7 (Holder 16, Roach 0) This is good from Anderson - he’s finding a little more bounce than before. Then he bangs one in properly, but it’s too short, and Holder’s too canny, predicting what was coming and hooking over square-leg for an entirely unexpected six. Next, though, after a leave, Holder has a slightly less studied swing, missing, and there’s a strangulated appeal for caught behind.

7.31pm BST19:31

88th over: West Indies 233-7 (Holder 9, Roach 0) What better way to celebrate a wicket than with the Postman Pat theme tune, eh? Because that’s what the trumpeter has struck up; Mrs Goggins would be so proud. Wicket maiden for Broad; Stokes would’ve bowled a double, so.

Updated at 7.35pm BST

7.26pm BST19:26

WICKET! Ramdin c Buttler b Broad 31 (West Indies 233-7)

There’s that length again, between full and back-of-, delivered from a tad wider of the crease. Ramdin proffers bat, reconsiders and withdraws - but it’s too late. It seeks out his edge, and he’s hutchwards bound.

Updated at 7.51pm BST

7.26pm BST19:26

87th over: West Indies 233-6 (Ramdin 31, Holder 9) Ramdin turns Anderson’s first ball to leg, and then Holder presents the full face, what a shot that is, what timing - the ball rushes dead straight for four. Is that the most annoying way to be hit to the fence - one that goes right back past you? Next, two more to midwicket, and then that straight-drive again, only this time, Anderson is down to field.

“England gave a send-off to a man who had made 103 of 223-6? Really? Are they all 14 years old?” asks Gary Naylor. I swither on this. One hand, agree entirely; other, it’s something to do.

7.21pm BST19:21

86th over: West Indies 226-6 (Ramdin 30, Holder 3) Holder has a very upright stance, which I guess gives him a good sight of the ball, but further to go when playing it - I wonder if he might struggle against extreme pace or reverse swing. At the moment, he looks confident and patient, but, comfortably playing out a maiden; perhaps it’s time to give Stokes a shy.

7.17pm BST19:17

85th over: West Indies 226-6 (Ramdin 30, Holder 3) Holder plays an outswinger with soft hands, sending the ball to slip, but on the bounce - he looks to know precisely what he’s doing. From Anderson’s third ball, though, a misstep - trying to nurdle to leg, a leading edge dashes past point, and they run two. Then, a steer to third man for a single, leaving Ramdin to negotiate a lifter and threatens his pelvis - he does well to bunt into the ground, cross-batted.

7.13pm BST19:13

84th over: West Indies 223-6 (Ramdin 30, Holder 0) This is better from Broad, now able to push the ball on a length; he elicits inside-edge, play and miss, inside-edge, and a maiden.

7.10pm BST19:10

83rd over: West Indies 223-6 (Ramdin 30, Holder 0) The umpires were not impressed with the send-off delivered by the fieldsgentlemen.

7.08pm BST19:08

WICKET! Samuels c Bell b Anderson 103 (West Indies 223-6)

No he isn’t! How odd! Samuels misses with one swish, indulges in another next ball, and this time, inswing means edge is contacted, sending a tricky catch to second slip, snatched in front of the face. That’s 21 hours in the nineties, or somesuch, and three minutes, or somesuch, in the hundreds - but a fine innings nonetheless.

Updated at 7.32pm BST

7.07pm BST19:07

83rd over: West Indies 223-5 (Ramdin 30, Samuels 103) Anderson’s got the ball swinging away, but hasn’t quite found his line yet - he’s a little bit wider than he’d like. And there it is! Samuels waves a wide one behind for four! “He’s delighted with that”, says Athers, and no doubt he is, but he waves bat with aggression rather than delight, all po-faced; he’s intending a daddy.

Updated at 7.37pm BST

7.03pm BST19:03

82nd over: West Indies 219-5 (Ramdin 30, Samuels 99) Samuels clips Broad’s first delivery off his toes for one, taking him to 99 - I’m tempted to feel sorry for him, what with the delay and all, but, on the other hand, he’s 99 not out in a Test. Oh, Stupot - his second ball is short and wide, so Ramdin slams it to the fence at point, getting plenty of moisture soaked up into the seam, seeping through the stiching and coursing into the cork. It’s not much of an over this, in that Ramdin is comfortable driving - perhaps England want him to be - but, on the other hand, he’s not exactly looking menaced, just picking out fielders.

6.59pm BST18:59

And Broad will take the new ball.

6.58pm BST18:58

Right then, we’re almost ready go.

6.54pm BST18:54

“Bowling on the first morning at a cloudy Lord’s,” tweets Rob Jacques, “the double-barrelled opening attack of RAL Massie and WPUJC Vaas”.

6.49pm BST18:49

Right then, we’re almost ready to go. There’s a bit of residual water on the surface, oh no we’re not. Bruce Oxenford has deemed it too wet, so we’re looking at ten minutes mo.

6.47pm BST18:47

“Sky and WWF are working together to save more trees in the Amazon” - not quite sure how a spinning piledriver will help, but I’m more than game to be convinced.

6.41pm BST18:41

You know there’s been a delay when Bob Willis is grumbling about Hawkeye. The Bjorg-McEnroe of cricket.

6.32pm BST18:32

Play shall resume at 6.50pm BST.

Good. England will want the pitch to dry as much as possible, given the new ball.

6.30pm BST18:30

Also, Adil “Deirdre” Rachid won’t be allowed to return to Yarkshire - he might get to play in the third Test. That’d be nice.

6.29pm BST18:29

It’s stopped raining, and the umpires are out. Presumably the order they issue as regards the restart won’t be a simple “get out and play right now”.

6.27pm BST18:27

Sky are showing us their most hilarious moments, including Beefy losing his rag with menace, and other matey hilarity.

6.21pm BST18:21

Grenada news: things are looking better, but we’re not especially close to starting.

6.16pm BST18:16

“On the double-barrelled theme, I’m not sure anything can really beat Nick Payne’s Gower-Penn-Ince-Yulas (genius that),” reckons Helen Tookey, “but your mention of Brian Lara did just make me think of the glamorous-sounding result if B. Lara were to be joined in wedlock with, um, Robert Croft. Let’s hope it stops raining soon, eh.”

6.15pm BST18:15

Oooh yeah - this Lara interview is backed by the Jolly Boys’ reggae Perfect Day.

Updated at 6.15pm BST

6.12pm BST18:12

According to the venerable Cricinfo, the outlook is bleak: what Grenada needs is Wimpole Village.

6.06pm BST18:06

“Yesterday I opened a box of 12 Chicken Dippers,” emails Damian Clarke, “and there were 13 inside. This made me happy. I don’t get out much.”

“Made with 100% chicken breast”, apparently, which sounds more like a football tattoo than an ingredient.

6.02pm BST18:02

“I was always comfortable with scoring runs” - the nonchalance of the genius is an amazing thing.

6.01pm BST18:01

In the meantime, we’re watching an interview with Brian Lara - his phat house with matching phat view was “one of a few options” presented to him by the T&T government after he broke the first record. Er...

5.58pm BST17:58

Oh dear - the weather does not look great for now. Presumably it’ll pass, but not sure how much cricket we’ll be getting in the next bit.

5.56pm BST17:56

Tip for relieving tedium: when an ‘l’ sound appears at the end of the word, substitute it for ‘w’, as though you’re Brazilian. As in, “make me feew, make me feew, so unreaw.”

Feew free to send in similar littw things that make you happy.

5.52pm BST17:52

It’s time for some 90s pop, obviously. Who could’ve guessed Zoe’s shamanic qualities?

5.50pm BST17:50

81st over: West Indies 214-5 (Ramdin 26, Samuels 98) Oh dear, it’s grey and the groundstaff are Mr Twitchen - of course, it was lovely during lunch. Anderson isn’t quite bowling full enough here, but he does have Samuels fencing outside off and missing. He does add a single, though, bunted into the off-side, the only run off the over, and off come the players.

5.45pm BST17:45

80th over: West Indies 213-5 (Ramdin 26, Samuels 97) Jordan takes the old ball for the last time as debate flutters as to who will take the new one with Jimmy-James. “I don’t think anyone has bowled full enough to anyone in this Test match,” says Dujon with lilting disgust, and would go with Jordan or Stokes, Nasser with Jordan. A quiet over, Samuels not all bov not to have made his ton, such is his composure, his affected composure, is there a difference? He runs a leg-bye from the final delivery, but that’s it, and here comes Anderson.

5.41pm BST17:41

79th over: West Indies 212-5 (Ramdin 26, Samuels 97) Stokes finishes off his interrupted over, a loosener that’s too straight clipped off the pads by Ramdin for two.

Updated at 5.44pm BST

5.40pm BST17:40

Anyway, here we go.

5.38pm BST17:38

That said, as the beneficiary of a classical education, the phrase double-barrelled signifies to me nothing more than Paul Ince clearing his nostrils - developing the single method popularised by Brian McClair and taken to an American audience by Game of Thrones’ Hound.

5.12pm BST17:12

But, back to the matter at hand, Danny Care and Shane Warne, the Care-Warne, or for the junglist massive, Shane Warne and Danny Ings, the Warne-Ings.

5.08pm BST17:08

Morning everyone. While we’re talking double-barrelled, how about portmanteaus? Ambrosh, for example, sounds like the exact opposite of what facing Cuddly and Courtney must’ve been like.

5.02pm BST17:02

LUNCH

I’m told lunch has been taken, as of now. So all things being well we’ll restart at 5.40pm BST. Daniel Harris will be your guide for the first hour after the break.

4.53pm BST16:53

“Why leave out all the generational possibilities,” wonders Nick Payne. “What if the offspring (adopted or surrogate, presumably) of David Gower and Hollywood luminary Sean Penn were joined in holy (or otherwise) matrimony with the progeny of former national football captains Paul Ince (England) and Selcuk Yula (Turkey). They would be the Gower-Penn-Ince-Yulas. Broomcha.”

4.50pm BST16:50

“Let me be the first to remind you of the wicketkeeping couple, the French-Mustards,” writes Andrew Watson, “and their daughter, who during the Spice Girls era insisted on the nickname Posh.”

4.39pm BST16:39

It’s still raining in Grenada. “I can reveal it is not dry,” says David Gower on Sky. “What’s the word for it? Moist.”

4.28pm BST16:28

“Bear with now,” writes Phil Ramdeen. “So Sophie Dahl marries Brett Lee. They then divorce and Sophie Dahl-Lee marries Graham Dilley.”

4.27pm BST16:27

So we’ve managed one ball shy of nine overs this morning. It might be time for an early luncheon, but we’ll see. In the meantime, there’s plenty of action on the county cricket live blog and the IPL OBO.

4.24pm BST16:24

78.5 overs: West Indies 210-5 (Ramdin 24, Samuels 97) A quick single? No – Ramdin slams the brakes on as Samuels, loitering with all the energy and vim of a garden ornament, sends him back. Ramdin responds with a beautiful cover drive for two then an even better thunk down the ground for four.

And that’s the final action for a while – the rain pours down again.

Updated at 4.48pm BST

4.20pm BST16:20

78th over: West Indies 204-5 (Ramdin 18, Samuels 97) A quick single from Ramdin takes West Indies to their 200. It has been a battle to get there, but they’re still right in the game. Samuels has a bit of a waft outside off, connecting with nothing but fresh air, then dabs behind square for a single. Ramdin dinks into the leg side for a couple.

Unfortunately the groundstaff have donned their yellow jackets and are readying the covers. It’s gone very dark over Bill’s mothers …

4.16pm BST16:16

77th over: West Indies 199-5 (Ramdin 14, Samuels 96) A bit of sawdust is rubbed into the crease where Stokes is landing, providing the opportunity for a slow-mo close-up of his landing foot, big toe poking pleasingly out of a strategically placed hole. And it’s a maiden.

“I assume I’m not the first person to suggest the all-cricket marriage of Gladstone Small and Peter Willey?” asks my colleague Dan Lucas, who indeed is the first person to suggest it.

4.10pm BST16:10

76th over: West Indies 199-5 (Ramdin 14, Samuels 96) A yelp of an appeal from Jordan as Samuels is struck on the pad, but it’s just sliding down. A leisurely single sees him pinch the strike and edge closer to three figures.

“I think glamour model Sam Fox might just be person to help Jonathan Trott get his mojo back, she might even teach him to dance!” suggests John Williams. “A match between Sussex legend Mike Buss and homegrown-actress-turned-Hollywood-star Minnie Driver would clearly be going places. And Lily Allen and Robert Key would surely have many happy hours of furniture assembly ahead of them.”

Updated at 4.15pm BST

4.06pm BST16:06

75th over: West Indies 198-5 (Ramdin 14, Samuels 95) Samuels struggles to lay bat on ball as Stokes finds some decent movement in the air. Eventually a leg bye sees him escape to the non-striker’s end. Stokes then goes very full to Ramdin, who just about manages to squeeze the ball backward of point for four.

Actually, if you don't love Ben Stokes, you're living the wrong life.

4.03pm BST16:03

74th over: West Indies 193-5 (Ramdin 10, Samuels 95) Shot! Ramdin silkily drives Jordan through the covers for four. It was on the up, and the bowlers won’t mind him playing that sort of shot, but he did play it extremely well. Again all the suggestions are that this is going to be a bit of a battle for both sides.

3.58pm BST15:58

73rd over: West Indies 189-5 (Ramdin 6, Samuels 95) Stokes v Samuels for the first time today. From the fourth ball Samuels has an uncertain joust outside off – Buttler and the slips appeal, but there’s nothing from the bowler and even less from the umpire.

“I’d be keen to see Nick Knight entering into a civil partnership with Jesse Ryder,” writes Harkarn Sumal, “and equally I’d wouldn’t be averse to attending the nuptials of Michael Vaughan and Serena Williams, if only for the music.”

Updated at 3.59pm BST

3.54pm BST15:54

72nd over: West Indies 189-5 (Ramdin 6, Samuels 95) Jordan begins at the other end. Samuels has a thunking swipe at the first, but is denied a boundary by a brilliant diving stop at point from Ben Stokes. Still he picks up a single, the first runs of the morning.

“Sorry probably missed this during the 1st Test and most of yesterday but why is there no Hot Spot at the very least?” wonders Jordan Wagner. Simply, the host broadcaster has to pay for it (not the ICC or Sky) and they’ve opted not to. It’s a ludicrous situation frankly.

3.50pm BST15:50

71st over: West Indies 188-5 (Ramdin 6, Samuels 94) Stokes finds a bit of late movement into the batsman from the fifth ball of the over. Ramdin gets a vital thickish inside edge to it. And the last is an away-swinger that prompts a little nervous jab outside off.

3.47pm BST15:47

NOT OUT!

Inevitably. Both teams need to get it into their heads that DRS for this series is for LBWs only.

3.46pm BST15:46

REVIEW!

England think they have Ramdin strangled down the leg side. But this is clearly a pretty idiotic review – without HotSpot and Snicko it’s essentially impossible to overturn an on-field decision.

Updated at 4.15pm BST

3.44pm BST15:44

The players are out on the field. Ben Stokes has the ball in his hand and the sun has got his hat on …

3.43pm BST15:43

“Re: double-barrelled surnames,” writes Huw Neill. “If, for some reason, Tino Best ever got it on with Eurovision winner Conchita Wurst, they’d be the Best-Wursts.”

3.39pm BST15:39

“The Botham,” suggests Ant Pease. “Rod Marsh: so how’s your wife and my kids? Gower: wife’s fine, and the kids have just got into Roedean, thanks for asking.”

3.37pm BST15:37

“Re: #GowerSledges,” writes Oliver Smiddy. “’Why are you so fat?’ ‘Because every time I enjoy carnal relations with your mother, she gives me a bellini.’”

3.16pm BST15:16

Revised session times:

Playing hours (UK) First session 345 - 545 Lunch 545 - 625. Second session 625 - 825. Tea 825 - 845. Third session 845 - 1045 aprox #WIvEng

3.12pm BST15:12

Play will start in 35 minutes. So that’s 3.45pm BST.

Updated at 3.12pm BST

3.10pm BST15:10

More good news: the covers are (slowly) coming off and the rain has stopped, so it looks like we’ll get some play before lunch.

3.09pm BST15:09

If Gower sledges don’t take your fancy (“Mind the stained-glass windows Tino …”) then how about this: a recent wedding got me thinking about double-barrelled names (as you do) and it occurred that it was something of a shame that Allan Lamb and Edwina Currie never hooked up. I’d be happy to spend the weekend with the Lamb-Curries.

3.01pm BST15:01

Good news: the rain has eased out in the Caribbean.

2.56pm BST14:56

@John_Ashdown We had a lot of fun last night with #GowerSledges. Do OBOers have any suggestions?

2.44pm BST14:44

hosing down in grenada.

2.42pm BST14:42

Charidee time: “Any chance of a charity request plug for a friend of mine?” begins Steve Pye. “Gareth Morris is running the London Marathon for the Save the Rhino charity, running over 26 miles dressed in a rhino costume weighing nearly two stones. He is insane, but his heart is in the right place. And you wouldn’t want to upset a rhino, would you?”

2.40pm BST14:40

The bad news from Grenada is that it’s raining again. Play was due to begin 15 minutes earlier today, but that’s gone for a burton I’m afraid.

2.15pm BST14:15

And here’s what Marlon Samuels had to say for himself:

“Ben Stokes basically is battling himself because he’s just coming into cricket and I’ve been around for a while. It’s obvious the English boys don’t learn because whenever they talk to me I continue scoring runs. But they keep on talking, I guess they can’t help it. I kept on telling him that but I probably have to tell him something different because he’s not listening. He keeps talking to me but it keeps me motivated and keeps me batting.”

Asked if he felt Stokes’ mutterings, which earned a quiet rebuke from the umpire Steve Davis, had been counter-productive, Samuels was on hand with a typically provocative response. “It all depends on how the morning goes. Marlon Samuels 150, Ben Stokes with the ball in his hand. It will be very interesting.”

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

2.15pm BST14:15

Preamble

Hello all. So: what to make of day one? Advantage England, probably, but only just. This looks to be a difficult pitch to score on, but not one that, at the moment at least, is going to bring flurries of wickets. West Indies resume on 188 for five; tourists will be hoping to restrict them to under 300. Whether they manage that or not will depend to some extent on Marlon Samuels, who batted brilliantly yesterday and begins the morning six runs short of his century.

Here’s Mike Selvey’s view of the first day:

England may be happy enough with the position in which they find themselves after the first day of the second Test that started an hour and three quarters late because of a sequence of irritating showers and was curtailed by the sun sinking towards the Caribbean sea and the light closing in.

The 70 overs that were possible saw West Indies reach 188 for five, despite having struggled to make headway on a sticky pitch that made timing difficult and a grabby outfield that held up all but the most sweetly struck shot.

To get this far, Marlon Samuels battled away, responsibly restrained for the most part, and with more panache later, especially when given back-foot opportunities. He will resume the second day on 94 – from 186 balls and with 13 fours – cut and pulled for the most part: it was an excellent innings.

England should have done better. There was a moment of magic from Jimmy Anderson in his second over, when – following a couple of away swingers – he produced such a wickedly dipping inswinger that Kraigg Brathwaite might have considered leaving it outside off stump, but which deviated so alarmingly it struck the leg stump instead. The other seamers all chipped in during the day too.