The magnificent Shapps will crush his critics but what about poor Contribsx?
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Version 0 of 1. For some time now, the leftwing media have gone out of their way to viciously undermine the political career of Grant Shapps. But enough is enough. A line has been crossed. Now, don’t get me wrong, Grant Shapps is a good man. In fact – as his multimillionaire playboy friend Michael Green will happily attest – Grant Shapps is often a great man, possessed of many fine qualities, with a virile pelt of tawny chest hair that’s envied around the world and a mind that legally qualifies as a weapon of mass destruction. However, Grant Shapps is also a big boy. He’s a professional politician. Whenever the press seeks to derail his natural – some might even say awe-inspiring – authority, their attacks simply disintegrate into dust in the face of his godlike majesty. He’s used to this. God knows he’s used to this. But the latest press accusations are a step too far. Because now an innocent has been dragged into the line of fire. There’s a real victim here now, and that victim is Wikipedia user Contribsx. Poor Contribsx is nothing more than an honest-to-goodness vigilante whistleblower, determined to set the record straight on a number of wide-ranging subjects, from all the things that Justine Greening has ever done wrong to the life story of the beautiful and often misunderstood politician Grant Shapps. All Contribsx wants is the truth. He’s Batman, but on Wikipedia. He’s Edward Snowden, but with a massive tattoo of Grant Shapps’ face across his entire back. He doesn’t deserve this intrusion into his life. Is the so-called leftwing press really justified? Really? Does it really and truly believe Shapps sits around his home at night, having bizarre three-way conversations with himself like Gollum in Lord of the Rings, with Green representing Good Gollum and Contribsx representing Bad Gollum and Shapps representing the third unmentioned Gollum who stumbles around, bumping into things and laughing at his own feet? Hardly. Listen, Contribsx is a good man. He’s not as good as Grant Shapps, obviously, because a world with that much perfection would directly lead to the ruination of humanity as we know it. But he’s still a good man. All he wants to do is live in a world where people are allowed to speak the truth, especially when it comes to Grant Shapps’ involvement in that horrifying beer and bingo image he tweeted after the budget last year. Leave him out of this. Of course, the press plays an important role in a free society – even those leftwing pinko monsters with no better way to spend their days than by deliberately demeaning politicians who are only guilty of having a campaigning spirit and a sweet butt that just won’t quit – but it should be careful not to overstep the mark. Contribsx has nothing to do with this. Grant Shapps is just one man – or possibly two men, or maybe even three men at a push – and he should be left to deal with these accusations by himselves. |