An Eye for an Eye

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/22/world/middleeast/iran-our-man-in-tehran.html

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Ameneh Bahrami, whom Thomas Erdbrink first wrote about in 2008 when she won the right to exact revenge on a spurned suitor who doused her with a bucket of sulfuric acid, answered readers’ questions.

Q. Did most people in Iran support your act of forgiving him, or did they think it was fair to blind him? — Helene K, France

A. Many ordinary people tell me that I should have blinded Majid Movahedi. But artists and those who are into humanities think the contrary. Artistic people have always appreciated my decision and say that it was a beautiful move not to blind him.

I expected that pardoning Majid Movahedi would lead to some financial assistance. But when it comes to financial help, even the officials who had thanked me for forgiving my attacker say that I could have taken revenge.

Q. Your strength and power to forgive are amazing. Why do you equate your pardon of your attacker with more acid attacks by selfish, vile men who think of nothing but themselves? The death penalty does not deter crime in America. — Spenta Cama, Tappan, N.Y.

A. I should point out that there used to be no “qisas,” or eye-for-an-eye rule, for acid attacks in Iran until my case. I tried so hard and followed up every step to get the court ruling to blind Majid Movahedi. The fact is that in the course of almost one year between the time that I finally got the revenge verdict from Iran’s court and the time of implementing the sentence, no acid attack happened in Iran. But when I pardoned my attacker, sporadic attacks started to happen here and there in the country.

Everyone was looking for my decision. Now I can see that the society expected me to blind Majid Movahedi. I have been hearing from many people and officials that I should have blinded him and that it could prevent more acid attacks. Now I feel that when I pardoned him I just thought about myself and forgot the society I was living in.

Q. Would you say that the accident has made you stronger? What would you say to teenage girls? — Aarya, India

A. I think that we all have a hidden power beneath the self-image that we have for our everyday routine life; we know nothing of this power until we face an ordeal that we can’t get through without it. Maybe this event took my eyes away, but it opened up my eyes to my inner strength.

My message to the girls of the world is the same as what I want to say to Iranian girls because I believe that, thanks to the Internet, we are living in a global village. I want to tell the girls that “Sleeping Beauty” is no longer the model of a perfect girl. Nowadays, adorable girls are those who are socially active with their eyes wide open. These girls can have something to say. Yes, beauty is great, having money is wonderful, but what gives the spirit to your life is what you have put into your life by your own effort.

What matters is that girls can stand on their feet. They should be able choose their future and never ignore what they like to experience because of being shy or because of the social barriers. Girls should never be afraid of the problems they might face.

And my last point is a piece of advice about how to react to any kind of domestic violence or any kind of harassment: No one should remain silent out of fear or to protect their honor. It just makes the criminals bolder and sets the ground for them to repeat their behavior.

Q. I feel inspired by your positive outlook on life. What motivates you to believe in your dreams and pursue them with so much dignity? — Paulo Lavigne, Brazil

The modern world usually overlooks religion. But I believe in a power that has created the world. I believe in God, and I try to make my decisions in line with the beauties of the world. I believe that this energy, this power, what I call God, helps me in troubled times if I try to be a good person. My faith in God has contributed a lot to my self-confidence.

The attack damaged me, but because of it, I have met many wonderful people who I would have had no idea they even existed.

I pardoned this attacker, and now that I do not have money for my surgery, my doctor says that he would do my next operation for free. I believe that God will never leave me alone.

Imam Ali, the first Imam of Shia Islam, says that we should live every day of our life as if it is our last day on the Earth, and we should live our life as if we never die. To me, it means that we should enjoy our moments and that we should not always worry about the future.

Q. Why did you decide to forgive your attacker? — Aarathi Haig, Falls Church, Va.

A. In those tough days after the attack, when I was very angry and restless, the only thing that could calm me was pouring the acid drops into his eyes. But every time when I pictured myself doing this, I was asking, “Can I do that?” I used to ask it over and over.

I remember that Dr. Ramon Medel, the surgeon at IMO Hospital in Barcelona, Spain, and Amir Sabouri, head of the Iranian Friendship Association of New York, embraced my first doubts about the appropriateness of carrying out my revenge. They told me that they had been waiting for this shift in my mind toward forgiveness. After thinking about it a lot, I told them that I was thinking about going up to the last step, and then pardoning him just before the implementation of the verdict.

Q. Did you ever feel bitter after what happened, and how did you overcome it? — Rebecca, New Orleans

A. The worst feelings surrounded me in the hospital, when I still could see and my eyes had not been completely blinded. All doctors told me that there was no hope. I can never forget them saying to my mom that I was going to be a desperate blind girl. I hated their sympathy. I remember that they all were saying that I was going to be destroyed soon and I was about to lose my eyes and would be ruined. I did not want to be blind and hopeless. It was right there when I told myself that, blind or not, I would not be desperate. I told myself that I should prove everyone wrong. And I did my best to do that.

I can even remember my father when he compared me with a late Iranian princess in my beauty and bad luck. He broke my heart, and I told myself that even my father thought that I was an unlucky girl. Years later, I remember the days when I started to become known internationally, when many media worked on my story. I recall that my father told me he was proud of me and that I was the pride of the whole family.

However, I still think I need to work more. I have not reached the end. Till now, I have proved that being blind is not the end of the world.

Q. How would you change Iran if you could do anything you wanted? — John Larsen, Philadelphia

A. I would like to have a president in Iran who cares more about people like me. I would like to make the society more friendly to different types of disabled people.

Q. If your attacker could and would say anything to you, what would you like to hear? What is your most important message to the world? — Erik van Luxzenburg, the Netherlands

A. The only thing that I want to hear is a true and real “I am sorry.” Yes, he has said that many times. But I know that he is not sorry from the bottom of his heart. Neither Majid Movahedi nor his family is sorry for what he did. They still believe that my beauty was what triggered Majid to decide to attack me with acid.

And my message to the people of the world is a message of friendship. I would like to ask everyone to be good to each other. We do not know how long we will live, so we should love and respect each other. Life is too short to worry so much.

Sometimes I need to go beyond the present and imagine myself as a 90-year-old woman who looks into her past. I want to do things that bring a smile to the lips of that old woman. I think we should live our lives the way we enjoy the most.

Date of birth: Sept. 29, 1978

Hometown: Tehran

Education: Associate degree in electronics from Islamic Azad University, South Tehran branch.

Employment: I used to work as an electronics technician before the acid attack, but now I do not work. I have started to write stories. I have written my autobiography, which was published in Germany, Latin America and elsewhere, and I am busy writing a book about my friend’s life.

Life experiences: I would have liked to have become a university professor, but my life changed direction. I like the life I am living now. I could have been healthy and beautiful and finished my university and lived like many of my friends, who now have routine lives with one or two children. I could remain dependent on my parents, undergo surgeries and always lament what happened in my life. But I decided to try different options and take control of my life. I travel to Spain for treatment by myself. I still want to fulfill my dreams.

How do you describe yourself? I am an optimist. I compare myself to my brother, who committed suicide months ago: I was the one who was attacked and lost her eyes, but it was my brother who became depressed and lost his enthusiasm for life. I used to tell him that if I had his eyes I would go out to see the beauties of the world. All the sorrows I have endured have empowered me.

Are you active on the Internet? I can use Facebook when I am in Spain, but here in Iran I cannot use Facebook.

Have you ever traveled outside of Iran? Where? What did you think? I have been to Germany, Spain, Turkey and Italy. As a blind person, I can never go out alone in Iran. But in Spain, I go out alone. I can go shopping or cook by myself.

What do you hope for the future? I think positively about the future. I think that I may get married to a nice person if I can find one. I am thinking about the next surgery on my lower left eyelid. I hope I can find enough time and concentration to work on my next book. I am planning to finish it when I return to Spain, where I hope to buy a house.

What are your hobbies? I need to earn money when I am in Iran. But I go out with my friends in the evening and visit my family. When I am in Spain, I try to learn Spanish and English in my free time.

What do you love most? I love people, and I love this world. I love talking to my parents. Whenever I am in trouble I think that this world is the heaven that we always look for.

What is injustice? To me injustice is what is happening in Iran’s courts. Injustice is not being able to gain your own rights.

Why is forgiveness important? It is important to forgive because forgiveness is a high human value. But I regret my decision to forgive my attacker. My family and I feel relieved, but I feel guilty about later acid attacks. I think that if I had not pardoned my attacker, maybe there would not be more victims.