Scrumdiddlyumptious! Why all the best food shows are on children's TV
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Version 0 of 1. Matilda and the Ramsay Bunch, which began this week on CBBC, is a gateway to a glossier, better world: one where food isn’t about competition, but rather stuff that tastes nice. The Ramsay Bunch in question is Gordon Ramsay’s family, but the star of the show is his smiley 13-year-old daughter Matilda. She’s not as pottymouthed as her famous dad, but she reckons she’s already a better chef. Sporting freakishly manicured red nails, she’s bubbling over with enthusiasm for her dishes and beneath the basic recipes lie some trademark Ramsay twists. “I really do like having my food served well,” she muses. “I try to make it look clever rather than posh.” Which means burgers with smoky fries, fancy baked potatoes and the rather sickly-looking ice cream Ramsay Whoopies. It’s the sort of food that’s easy enough for a child (or semi-reluctant adult) to make, and she’s a real pro in the face of much larking about from daddy, who insists on holding her upside-down in the kitchen while she’s trying to cook. This all works on another level for grownups, offering aspirational lifestyle porn. The Ramsays’ summer holidays aren’t spent arguing over who gets the top bunk in the caravan. Instead, they decamp to Los Angeles, where Gordon skateboards over the immaculate white carpets of their rented mansion. The well-mannered, intelligent kids sweat health from every pore as they go hiking in the Hollywood hills, taking selfies because they’re so damn perfect. Family life is noisy but harmonious: Gordon suppresses his F-bombs and turns teddy bear, while the children rib him endlessly. Then there’s Tana, all perky ponytail and casual-but-sexy gym gear, who makes Gwyneth Paltrow look like Waynetta Slob. She’s clearly the sensible glue that holds the family together; if you have aspirations to be a domestic goddess, Tana is your poster girl. Matilda and the Ramsay Bunch is proof that the more you pare down cookery shows for children’s TV, the better they work. Forget Bingate, Junior Masterchef is where you’ll find real controversy. Last year’s winner of the Spanish edition, 12-year-old Victor Beltran, isn’t remembered for his ability to knock up a tasty tortilla but for his comments about girls being better at cooking than boys. And where else but on Junior Bake Off would you see someone create a “Hadron Super Collider Cake”, or an edible jigsaw that helps you learn to count? That’s real talent. Then when it all goes wrong, the kids just laugh because they’re wise enough to know that it’s not the end of the world if you drop your biscuits. It’s ironic that Saturday morning TV, which was once prime kids’ territory, is now devoted to grownup cookery shows. What used to be a safe haven for kids to swing their pants, play Wonky Donkey and watch pop stars make loons of themselves is long gone. In place of SMTV is Saturday Kitchen, where people stand around and watch each other cook before cutting to some old filler clips of Rick Stein. It could do with a sprinkle of kids’ TV magic. After all, there are few culinary tasks that can’t be improved by singing the song about “slippy dippy soap” from CBeebies’ I Can Cook, or the knowledge that Gordon Ramsay is skateboarding behind your back. |