The Lib Dems’ crushed pigeon isn’t an omen of doom

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/apr/10/lib-dems-crushed-pigeon-omen

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Years ago, I had lunch with a friend from the Lib Dem policy department who was rather keen on astrology. He had an arrangement with friends that he would cast their star chart if they bought the lunch, so over my omelette he busied himself with symbols and pored over my date of birth (Taurus-Gemini cusp, since you ask). “Ah yes,” he said, very seriously. “I see this in a lot of Lib Dem charts. I think it means unreasonable optimism.”

I had to acknowledge that he was right, both about me and my Lib Dem colleagues. Years of hanging on in there, brushing ourselves down and trying again had made us all but immune to harbingers of doom. The pessimists had long since left of their own accord. It was a kind of evolutionary survival of the most hopeful.

So when I heard that the Lib Dem battlebus had demolished a passing pigeon – I didn’t think to myself: omen. But I did think, in a small way, it was a sign of something. First, I realised how much things had changed since the Liberal Democrats in ancient Greece (yes, there were Lib Dems in Athens, but their leaflets were a bit clunky). If their battlebus had run over a pigeon, there would have been a screeching of brakes. The party’s priests would have dashed out to peer closely at the entrails spattered on the tarmac and passed judgment. These days, they just drive on.

Second, the fact that this was being reported by the political correspondents did mean something. Possibly just that nothing else was happening. It was significant that the pigeon was mown down on a day when the whole campaign seemed to be about Michael Fallon’s comments on Ed Miliband, and whether they had been embarrassing or not. In those circumstances, dead pigeons were a boon. You can imagine the correspondent of the Daily Telegraph, staring mindlessly out of the window as the bus sped towards the next identical photo opportunity, latching on to the pigeon as a bit of a relief. His tweet reveals what the media thinks is going on. They think the Lib Dems are dashing towards disaster, and that gives the pigeon a perverse meaning (to them). Of course, it’s also possible that the press pack has turned to entrail-watching because they don’t have much idea of what is actually happening.

It is true that the Lib Dems are the only party with a bird as their symbol, though the bird of liberty isn’t exactly a pigeon. If Miliband gets pricked by a rose or if David Cameron’s bus drives into a tree, that might have significance. In the meantime, we’ll have to see if any of the party leaders walks under ladders while spilling salt, killing sparrows and being watched by an owl. If you catch any of them doing that, well – then we will know.

The party that does have an issue with superstitions is Ukip. When Nigel Farage tried to organise a Twitter interview at the end of last year, he was flung off-course by questions about cats such as, “My cat is black, if you get into government can she stay in the UK if I marry her?” Perhaps that’s why he rejected the bird vote when he went to visit the Somerset floods, accusing the government of “putting birds above people”.

This seems to be the direct opposite of what the Lib Dems have done, but then – read the entrails – you might have realised that the fortunes of Ukip and the Lib Dems are always diametrically opposed. When Farage sinks, Nick Clegg rises.

And my reading of the runes tells me that’s what’s happening. I think pigeons are symbols of endurance, determination and hanging on in there until their message is delivered. But, if there had been crows or ravens in the road in front of me, I might just have run them over. Make your own luck. It looks like that’s exactly what the battlebus did. But then, I’m on the Taurus-Gemini cusp and therefore an unreasonable optimist.