Confessions of an Apple fanboy: I’m going to miss the queues
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Version 0 of 1. If a leaked memo proves to be right, the ritual of long lines of Apple fanboys queuing outside stores for new product releases could be no more. While many won’t mourn the pantomime’s passing, for some the queueing, the camaraderie, the applause of the employees as they are welcoming into the store … a part of our recent cultural heritage is coming to an end. One of those fanboys - writing on condition of anonymity - reveals what it’s really like to experience the thrill of an Apple launch (although he swears he will fervently deny any of this ever happened if anyone asks!). OK, I’ll admit it. I’ve queued overnight to purchase one of Apple’s highly priced new gadgets, not once, but three times … and you know what? I enjoyed it. For me, it all started with the iPhone 3G – Apple’s first iPhone to match up to British standards with a 3G connection (what the hell was Edge anyway?). At the time I was rocking a Nokia N95, a marvellous smartphone that arguably had more features and functionality (oh, that camera!), but was leagues behind the iPhone in polish and usability. Like a magpie that had spotted a shiny thing, I decided that I had to have the new iPhone. I knew the stock was likely to be highly limited, so if I wanted it within weeks of launch the only course of action was to queue overnight. And if I’m going to do something, I’ll do it right: be the first, make sure you get one, don’t queue for no reward. It made perfect sense at the time. At 4pm the day before – T-minus 16 hours until launch – I pitched my collapsable camping chair on the street with a friend outside of Apple’s Regent Street store in London in 2008, then the biggest in the UK. We weren’t the first; a surprisingly friendly man had beaten us to it, and seemed relieved when we turned up. He was no longer the loner on the street. It was just the three of us for some hours. We shared stories, had care packages dropped off by friends and family and after what seemed like days, but was probably minutes, a fourth devotee arrived to join our little band. As the minutes and hours rolled by, a progressive stream of people turned up. Some clearly having planned to be there. Others simply happening on the queue by chance. One man in a black suit, black tie and court shoes walked past at around 1am having just left a wake. His aunt had died and much booze had obviously been consumed, but that didn’t stop him joining too, although it did cause him to dash off periodically in search of a toilet. Having been apprehensive about what kind of person I was going to meet on the street in my overnight vigil, I was pleasantly surprised to find that everyone who joined the queue overnight was friendly. Our shared common interest in forking out over £500 for a new smartphone bound us together. Most already had the original iPhone and were looking to upgrade. Some brought beer, others food. It was like a nerd’s camping holiday, expect out on Regent Street. As night wore on we got hassled by a few passersby, but by that stage there were enough of us to stop any would-be antagonists from having a go. I managed to convince one gullible couple that we were queuing for a one-day sale in the Lacoste store that was right next to the hall of Apple. They joined the queue, which was now tailing around the block, if only for about 10 minutes before realising, much to everyone’s amusement that they’d been had. Oh how we laughed. The hours between 3am and 5am were the worst. We had run out of beer. The last of the steak slices had been dropped on the street and we were all flagging. Someone thought they had some Haribo in their bag, but it turned out to be an empty packet. As the Sun started to rise and 6am came and went things were looking up. Morning was coming. The store was due to open at 8am and the queue behind us was now ginormous. Apple store staff started to arrive. The windows had been covered since the store closed overnight, and at one point someone thought they saw someone moving around in the shop. We later found out that they were rigging the new displays and setting out the new phones. As 8am approached we were shuffled into a formal queue, bottles of water and coffee were handed out and spirits were high. I didn’t quite know what was waiting for us. We were Brits, so surely it must just be an orderly quiet shuffling, credit cards in hand? A countdown started. Inside we could see a long line of Apple employees in branded light blue T-shirts. They lined the store, creating an almost red-carpet-like human channel, in through the door and up the glass stairs to the Genius bar where a huge stack of phones was waiting. The clock struck 8am. The doors burst open and everyone started clapping. Almost 100 blue shirts were applauding us, whooping and yelping with excitement. It was puzzling. Had I just won something? Was there a prize? Were we going to get free phones? Someone shook my hand. Another high-fived me. I must have won something. We bounded up the stairs, hearts racing, eyes wide with the spectacle. I approached the desk and asked for my iPhone 3G in black with giddy excitement. “How would you like to pay?” the Apple store employee asked me. “Wh ... what?” I murmured, suddenly dragged back into the reality that, no, I hadn’t won anything and, yes, I still had to pay a not inconsiderable sum for a new phone that no one had tried yet and could have been awful (it didn’t even have copy and paste). “By card please.” I left the store, back down the glass stairs, through the big crowd, my wallet £500 lighter, my bag one iPhone heavier. I had been there, I had beaten the crowds and I had my iPhone. All it had really cost me in was one night’s sleep. Now the task at hand. Get home without being mugged. |