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A guide to Passover seder: praise the brisket, and don't mention Israel A guide to Passover seder: praise the brisket, and don't mention Israel
(35 minutes later)
So, it’s your first Passover seder. You’re joining a friend, family member or significant other for the traditional Jewish ritual that involves the recitation of the story of the Exodus from Egypt over the course of a long meal, and begins tonight. Even if you’ve frantically Googled for information, you’ve read the Wikipedia articles, and even re-watched Charlton Heston in the Ten Commandments, you may still be nervous. Just in case, here are some dos and don’ts, so you can get over your tsuris and not look like too much of a schlemiel.So, it’s your first Passover seder. You’re joining a friend, family member or significant other for the traditional Jewish ritual that involves the recitation of the story of the Exodus from Egypt over the course of a long meal, and begins tonight. Even if you’ve frantically Googled for information, you’ve read the Wikipedia articles, and even re-watched Charlton Heston in the Ten Commandments, you may still be nervous. Just in case, here are some dos and don’ts, so you can get over your tsuris and not look like too much of a schlemiel.
DoDo
Try the gefilte fish. Gefilte fish, like any other fish product that comes from a jar packed with jelly, is an acquired taste. Not everyone at the seder table likes it, likely including quite few of the people actually eating it. No one will judge you for stopping after a bite or two.Try the gefilte fish. Gefilte fish, like any other fish product that comes from a jar packed with jelly, is an acquired taste. Not everyone at the seder table likes it, likely including quite few of the people actually eating it. No one will judge you for stopping after a bite or two.
Don’tDon’t
Discuss Israel. Just don’t. Don’t talk about Iran, Iraq, or any other country that starts with the letter I. (Not even Iceland.) Uncle Morry will bemoan the fact that there aren’t more American politicians like Netanyahu, Cousin Susan will insist there needs to be peace and argue that this is George W’s fault, while a half-deaf elderly neighbor will butt in and accuse Mario Cuomo of antisemitism. Just smile and nod.Discuss Israel. Just don’t. Don’t talk about Iran, Iraq, or any other country that starts with the letter I. (Not even Iceland.) Uncle Morry will bemoan the fact that there aren’t more American politicians like Netanyahu, Cousin Susan will insist there needs to be peace and argue that this is George W’s fault, while a half-deaf elderly neighbor will butt in and accuse Mario Cuomo of antisemitism. Just smile and nod.
DoDo
Copiously praise the brisket. You may have strong feelings about brisket, and come from a Texas barbecue empire stretching back generations, or you may be a vegetarian afraid of getting within 100 yards of red meat. Either way, there will likely be brisket served as the entrée – and people take their brisket recipes seriously. If you don’t like it, still praise it. And, even if you don’t it, at least say that it looks nice. Copiously praise the brisket. You may have strong feelings about brisket, and come from a Texas barbecue empire stretching back generations, or you may be a vegetarian afraid of getting within 100 yards of red meat. Either way, there will likely be brisket served as the entrée – and people take their brisket recipes seriously. If you don’t like it, still praise it. And, even if you don’t eat it, at least say that it looks nice.
Don’tDon’t
Get too ambitious with the horseradish. One of the items on the seder plate is the bitter herb of maror or, in English, horseradish. One of the obligations for Jews during the Seder meal is to eat maror. However, if you’re not accustomed to eating horseradish, be careful. It has a real kick and you can end up sputtering and grasping for water.Get too ambitious with the horseradish. One of the items on the seder plate is the bitter herb of maror or, in English, horseradish. One of the obligations for Jews during the Seder meal is to eat maror. However, if you’re not accustomed to eating horseradish, be careful. It has a real kick and you can end up sputtering and grasping for water.
DoDo
Be patient. A full seder can last up to six hours, especially if it’s taking place in particularly observant household. Usually, it will be far less than that, but it’s worth knowing what you’re in for. And if you get antsy, it does help that participants in a seder are commanded to drink four cups of wine. That should help take the edge off.Be patient. A full seder can last up to six hours, especially if it’s taking place in particularly observant household. Usually, it will be far less than that, but it’s worth knowing what you’re in for. And if you get antsy, it does help that participants in a seder are commanded to drink four cups of wine. That should help take the edge off.
Don’tDon’t
Be shy. A key part of the seder is retelling the story of how the ancient Hebrews fled to slavery in Egypt to return to the Land of Israel. Learning the story and asking questions about it is a focal point of the meal. Free feel to ask whatever questions you have about the holiday: it’s a critical part of the observance. But just remember to be careful with what you ask about the brisket. Be shy. A key part of the seder is retelling the story of how the ancient Hebrews fled slavery in Egypt to return to the Land of Israel. Learning the story and asking questions about it is a focal point of the meal. Feel free to ask whatever questions you have about the holiday: it’s a critical part of the observance. But just remember to be careful with what you ask about the brisket.