'Sydney's Royal Easter show: terrible food, but a strangely good day out' diff viewer (0/1)

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Sydney's Royal Easter show: terrible food, but a strangely good day out	Sydney's Royal Easter show: terrible food, but a strangely good day out
2015-03-27 07:40:25 UTC	2015-03-28 08:35:56 UTC (1 day later)
There’s no elegant way to eat a dagwood dog. I pay $8 and am given an enormous saveloy that’s been battered, fried and dipped in sauce. It looks obscene and ~~taste~~ like meat flavoured cushion stuffing. I share it with two friends, and we eat it quickly, in the shade by the food van. There’s food you parade around, linger over, savour – and there’s this – a food that reeks of shame, the consumption of which resembles a sex act, and that must be eaten quickly, in private.	There’s no elegant way to eat a dagwood dog. I pay $8 and am given an enormous saveloy that’s been battered, fried and dipped in sauce. It looks obscene and tastes like meat flavoured cushion stuffing. I share it with two friends, and we eat it quickly, in the shade by the food van. There’s food you parade around, linger over, savour – and there’s this – a food that reeks of shame, the consumption of which resembles a sex act, and that must be eaten quickly, in private.
“Tell me about this dish,” I ask the man in the food van. He is Spanish and it is his first day on the job.	“Tell me about this dish,” I ask the man in the food van. He is Spanish and it is his first day on the job.
“I don’t know what this thing is you’ve just ordered,” he says with true bewilderment. He calls over his supervisor. She speaks to me very slowly, as if to a stupid person: “It’s a saveloy. Dipped in batter. And fried.”	“I don’t know what this thing is you’ve just ordered,” he says with true bewilderment. He calls over his supervisor. She speaks to me very slowly, as if to a stupid person: “It’s a saveloy. Dipped in batter. And fried.”
Sydney’s Royal Easter Show kicked off at Olympic Park on Thursday. Running until 8 April, the show is Australia’s premier agricultural exhibition with more than 12,500 competitions, featuring everything from cake decoration to best alpaca fleece.	Sydney’s Royal Easter Show kicked off at Olympic Park on Thursday. Running until 8 April, the show is Australia’s premier agricultural exhibition with more than 12,500 competitions, featuring everything from cake decoration to best alpaca fleece.
It’s the first day of the show, and there’s no line up to get in (cost $39.70 for an adult). That will happen next week, once school holidays begin. I’m being shown around by my friend Jason Roberts, a painter who has been working at the show for the past five years. He has a stall in the rams’ shed where he sells his paintings, and sketches the animals.	It’s the first day of the show, and there’s no line up to get in (cost $39.70 for an adult). That will happen next week, once school holidays begin. I’m being shown around by my friend Jason Roberts, a painter who has been working at the show for the past five years. He has a stall in the rams’ shed where he sells his paintings, and sketches the animals.
One thing that’s difficult to get my head around is how enormous the show area is. I’m used to country shows, with a couple of rides and a few local heffers on display. This is like a city – or rather a country town. A day here would not be enough to see everything.	One thing that’s difficult to get my head around is how enormous the show area is. I’m used to country shows, with a couple of rides and a few local heffers on display. This is like a city – or rather a country town. A day here would not be enough to see everything.
But first, the thing that will never win any prizes – show food.	But first, the thing that will never win any prizes – show food.
The show food	The show food
People keep telling us to try the lemonade. Bec Bragg and Matt Ryan who have been coming to the show since they were kids tell us it’s a highlight – that and the wood chopping. “It’s old-fashioned lemonade, not too sweet and you can only get it at the show,” says Bragg.	People keep telling us to try the lemonade. Bec Bragg and Matt Ryan who have been coming to the show since they were kids tell us it’s a highlight – that and the wood chopping. “It’s old-fashioned lemonade, not too sweet and you can only get it at the show,” says Bragg.
The lemonade stand also sells fried cheese on a stick.	The lemonade stand also sells fried cheese on a stick.
“Tell me about this dish,” I say.	“Tell me about this dish,” I say.
“Everything is cooked fresh. We take some cheese, put it on a stick, roll it in corn batter then deep fry it until it’s crispy,” says the man behind the fryer.	“Everything is cooked fresh. We take some cheese, put it on a stick, roll it in corn batter then deep fry it until it’s crispy,” says the man behind the fryer.
The cheese stick is smaller than the dagwood dog – and less grotesque. It’s like eating a shower loofah, yet mixed with runny cheese, and it’s not unpleasant. Also I like the pride with which this man spruiks his product. People are standing around, getting sunburnt waiting for their individual cheese sticks to fry. A young man next to me says, apropos of nothing, “Everything tastes better on a stick. I don’t know why.”	The cheese stick is smaller than the dagwood dog – and less grotesque. It’s like eating a shower loofah, yet mixed with runny cheese, and it’s not unpleasant. Also I like the pride with which this man spruiks his product. People are standing around, getting sunburnt waiting for their individual cheese sticks to fry. A young man next to me says, apropos of nothing, “Everything tastes better on a stick. I don’t know why.”
Then it’s carb time. I go to another food van that sells something called “Twisted Chips”. It resembles a birds nest – if you can imagine a birds nest made of chips, then petrified. I would call it a hot mess, but mine actually arrived quite cold.	Then it’s carb time. I go to another food van that sells something called “Twisted Chips”. It resembles a birds nest – if you can imagine a birds nest made of chips, then petrified. I would call it a hot mess, but mine actually arrived quite cold.
The women before me, young in heavy makeup and heavy metal t-shirts, ordered the twisted chips with cheese sauce. They also want a cup of ice. “It’s for her epilepsy,” says the woman pointing to her friend in a wheelchair. “When its hot, it triggers her epilepsy.”	The women before me, young in heavy makeup and heavy metal t-shirts, ordered the twisted chips with cheese sauce. They also want a cup of ice. “It’s for her epilepsy,” says the woman pointing to her friend in a wheelchair. “When its hot, it triggers her epilepsy.”
The woman behind the counter shrugs. There’s no ice. The heavy metal girls leave with their nest of fries ($10, sauce $2) but I find myself worrying about them for the rest of the afternoon. The sky is bright blue, the sun hot and there’s no breeze or shade.	The woman behind the counter shrugs. There’s no ice. The heavy metal girls leave with their nest of fries ($10, sauce $2) but I find myself worrying about them for the rest of the afternoon. The sky is bright blue, the sun hot and there’s no breeze or shade.
The produce pavilion	The produce pavilion
We walk into the produce pavilion. There are several cooking demonstrations going on, but the energy from the crowd is low. One host, miked up behind the burners, is clearly frustrated. His voice is game-show peppy but there’s a despondent, sarcastic edge: “Great audience today. They’re jumping out of their seats.”	We walk into the produce pavilion. There are several cooking demonstrations going on, but the energy from the crowd is low. One host, miked up behind the burners, is clearly frustrated. His voice is game-show peppy but there’s a despondent, sarcastic edge: “Great audience today. They’re jumping out of their seats.”
At least a third of the people in the audience are in wheelchairs.	At least a third of the people in the audience are in wheelchairs.
I sit down for a bit; my legs are getting tired and some of this stuff is interesting. I didn’t know for example, that “you should NEVER pick up your steak or chicken with tongs.”	I sit down for a bit; my legs are getting tired and some of this stuff is interesting. I didn’t know for example, that “you should NEVER pick up your steak or chicken with tongs.”
The real audience engagement happens around the other side, in the judging of the perishable cookery section. Here sponge sandwiches, hot cross buns, jam rolls, fruit loaves, marble cakes, lamingtons and orange cakes (among others) are judged by women who are not to be trifled with (boom tish).	The real audience engagement happens around the other side, in the judging of the perishable cookery section. Here sponge sandwiches, hot cross buns, jam rolls, fruit loaves, marble cakes, lamingtons and orange cakes (among others) are judged by women who are not to be trifled with (boom tish).
Judge one – a woman in her 50s – is picking up loaves like they are footballs and feeling her way round them, before bringing them up to her nose. An assistant then cuts some off and judge one prods it, tastes it and holds it up to her eyes – the entry interrogated with her all senses.	Judge one – a woman in her 50s – is picking up loaves like they are footballs and feeling her way round them, before bringing them up to her nose. An assistant then cuts some off and judge one prods it, tastes it and holds it up to her eyes – the entry interrogated with her all senses.
“I’m going to eliminate this,” says judge one, holding the offending loaf aloft. “It’s got rack marks on the side and its lost some of its shape when it came out of the tin. It’s eliminated.”	“I’m going to eliminate this,” says judge one, holding the offending loaf aloft. “It’s got rack marks on the side and its lost some of its shape when it came out of the tin. It’s eliminated.”
The winning loaf (“a lovely loaf”) was “full of flavour, good texture, the fruit – just perfect.”	The winning loaf (“a lovely loaf”) was “full of flavour, good texture, the fruit – just perfect.”
Next up is lamingtons. Judge one knows what she likes. “What I’m going to look for is uniform size, icing uniform, and coconut spread even. What we don’t like is the coconut heavy heavy.”	Next up is lamingtons. Judge one knows what she likes. “What I’m going to look for is uniform size, icing uniform, and coconut spread even. What we don’t like is the coconut heavy heavy.”
Her assistant sets to work slicing the lamingtons.	Her assistant sets to work slicing the lamingtons.
Judge two is struggling a bit. She’s judging scones. “I had 32 lots of scones to work through, and as you can imagine, it wasn’t an easy task,” she tells the audience.	Judge two is struggling a bit. She’s judging scones. “I had 32 lots of scones to work through, and as you can imagine, it wasn’t an easy task,” she tells the audience.
The scones are sliced and inspections begin: “a little pale on the bottom,” she says of one, “but tender. There’s a lot I’d like to give highly commended to, but I can only give two.”	The scones are sliced and inspections begin: “a little pale on the bottom,” she says of one, “but tender. There’s a lot I’d like to give highly commended to, but I can only give two.”
Judge one holds up a dodgy lamington, “Now I will be eliminating this entry. You can see why. It’s a very shallow cake – so that one will be out. And the icing! Be careful, it has run.”	Judge one holds up a dodgy lamington, “Now I will be eliminating this entry. You can see why. It’s a very shallow cake – so that one will be out. And the icing! Be careful, it has run.”
Judge two is more downbeat. Her task seems Sisyphean. Her next category begins: “They must think I like scones because I’ve got the pumpkin scones to do now.”	Judge two is more downbeat. Her task seems Sisyphean. Her next category begins: “They must think I like scones because I’ve got the pumpkin scones to do now.”
She adds quickly, “I really DO like scones,” before setting back to work, slicing, touching, sniffing and tasting.	She adds quickly, “I really DO like scones,” before setting back to work, slicing, touching, sniffing and tasting.
The sheep shearing	The sheep shearing
Despite the industrialisation of farming, there is something very throwback about shearing. In the agricultural shed, watching the shearers in their singlets drape themselves over their sheep is like seeing a Russell Drysdale painting come to life.	Despite the industrialisation of farming, there is something very throwback about shearing. In the agricultural shed, watching the shearers in their singlets drape themselves over their sheep is like seeing a Russell Drysdale painting come to life.
There’s a shearing demonstration and two women from the audience volunteer. In order to shear the sheep, they must put their arms around the shearers’ backs and hold on, while their shearer holds their hands (which hold the shears) in theirs. Between them is the supine sheep, and as they move around it, it looks like a dance.	There’s a shearing demonstration and two women from the audience volunteer. In order to shear the sheep, they must put their arms around the shearers’ backs and hold on, while their shearer holds their hands (which hold the shears) in theirs. Between them is the supine sheep, and as they move around it, it looks like a dance.
It’s in the shearing shed I meet farmer Tom Corkhill. He’s here from Normanhurst, a property three and a half hours south of Sydney. For the past nine years he’s been coming here showing stud sheep.	It’s in the shearing shed I meet farmer Tom Corkhill. He’s here from Normanhurst, a property three and a half hours south of Sydney. For the past nine years he’s been coming here showing stud sheep.
While there’s a social component to coming to the show, “We’re here to compete and win and get that win.”	While there’s a social component to coming to the show, “We’re here to compete and win and get that win.”
A win matters to the bottom line for farmers. Last year he had a junior champion ram that went onto get top price at the property sales.	A win matters to the bottom line for farmers. Last year he had a junior champion ram that went onto get top price at the property sales.
Corkhill is staying nearby at the Quest and most of the other border breeders are also staying close to the show site at Olympic Park. “It’s serious at judging time, but we’ll all [the other competing farmers] catch up tonight and have a meal somewhere and a few laughs.”	Corkhill is staying nearby at the Quest and most of the other border breeders are also staying close to the show site at Olympic Park. “It’s serious at judging time, but we’ll all [the other competing farmers] catch up tonight and have a meal somewhere and a few laughs.”