Get real ladies, quotas on boards are for losers. We want winners!
|
Version 0 of 1. Apparently a bunch of ball-breaking feminists and their namby-pamby male fellow travellers (see what happens when you allow a woman to get hold of your trembling testicles?) have made yet another call for more women on boards. This time, they’re insisting the top end of town set a target of 30%. 30%! Get real ladies, quotas are for losers, for people who can’t get ahead on their own. We want winners on boards for obvious reasons because winners have merit. Demonstrable, provable merit – after all, they are winners, aren’t they? They’ve got big houses in the best suburbs, tax (ahem) efficient investments, trophy wives, flashy cars and an ergonomically superb, doe-skin upholstered, custom made chair at all the very best tables. That’s how you can tell someone has merit; it’s not subjective, it’s measurable. It’s not produced by “I’m a girl, so give me the top job” whining! People with merit have got the things that merit brings. Winners don’t need special favours or a helping hand. You can use the word targets all you like, but what they really are is a bloody unfair advantage designed to cheat men of their birthright. Tell you what, ladies, if you want to sit at the decision-making tables you are going to have to earn your place through blood, sweat and tears – just like the blokes did. You think it is easy donning a boater at the tender age of five and heading off to face the rough and tumble of an all-boys, high-fee, exclusive school on your own? Your parents – winners themselves, of course – invest a lot of hard earned cash in you, and they damn well demand a decent return on that investment. See how blokes with merit are getting taught hard business lessons even while they are in short pants? Then there’s the bullying, the abusive masters, cadets, the head of the river, rugby, boxing, tennis and all those posh girls from sister schools you have to negotiate your way around. You think any of this is easy? And you can’t let up, not for a minute. Once you finish school you’ve got to get into the right uni, live at the right college and do the right courses. Honestly, those blokes don’t just earn their merit - sometimes they get merit thrust down their throats! That’s why merit is so often found in white, private school educated males. Don’t believe me? Look around you, ladies, open those expertly made-up eyes of yours. Who are the high achievers in society? Who have they always been? That’s right; possessors of just the right colour, caliber and class of penis. You think that’s a coincidence, just some sort of cosmic accident? No way! They’ve been trained and groomed to take their place at the top from birth and if you think they’re just going to hand that over without a fight, you have another thing coming. Though, to be fair, white, privately educated males have had to give up a lot recently. After all, for a whole 2000 years they benefited from a 100% quota that reserved – not just the best jobs – but schools, universities and all the professions for men and men only. No wonder they are now shrieking so loudly about targets. Targets can so easily become quotas and if anyone knows what quotas can lead to, they do. They are understandably terrified that women might do to them what they did to women for two millennia. It could be argued that in light of that 100% male quota, backed up for centuries by actual legislation, a mere 30% unenforceable target seems positively meek. And no matter what the bible says, the meek will never inherit the earth. Inheritances are for those with merit! |