Football rumours: PSG to appoint Atlético Madrid’s Diego Simeone as manager?

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/feb/03/the-rumour-mill-psg-diego-simeone

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Hello readers, how are you? Apart from miraculous, obviously. Today the Mill is tempted to think of you in much the same way that some 18th century French explorers used to think of Louis Phélypeaux, the Count of Pontchartrain.

The Mill is not calling you are a bunch of counts – let’s establish that right now. What we are saying is that we value your patronage very highly indeed and, on the day after the transfer window closed, we are contemplating paying you the sort of tribute that French explorers paid when they discovered a pair of islands in Lake Superior and named them Isle Phélypeaux and Isle Pontchartrain after their hero.

He, as it happened, was a politician with a lot of clout when it came to deciding which explorers received financial backing from the French government. The islands were duly added to maps and even referred to in the 1783 Treaty of Paris that ended the American Revolutionary War. In fact, it was some 40 years before folks realised that the “discoverers” had lied and no such islands existed. By that time, it is suspected, the discoverers in question had already pocketed generous exploration funds.

After reflection, however, the Mill has decided that it is not going to make stuff up just to impress you today, readers. No, the Mill is not going to claim that Manchester United are poised to sign a world-class defender today in spite of the closure of the transfer window only yesterday. But Manchester City could – if, that is, José Mourinho is right about them being subject to different rules than everyone else. So they won’t.

The truth, loyal readers, is that transfer rumours are thinner on the ground today than a steamrollered stick insect. We can tell you that the Daily Express has gone to the trouble of working out that Sir Alex Ferguson’s final signing for Manchester United sort of cost the club £400,000 for every 60 seconds he played, as Wilfried Zaha only graced the United first team for 28 minutes before completing his move back to Crystal Palace yesterday. Will that do?

Actually, we can also tell you that Atlético Madrid are in a hot funk over alleged approaches made to their manager, Diego Simeone, by Paris Saint-Germain, whose own manager, Laurent Blanc, looks perilously close to being jilted.

And we can round things off by letting you know that Sunderland could be forced to buy Ricky Álvarez from Internazionale for £7.5m this summer if they avoid relegation. The Argentinian is currently on loan at the Stadium of Light from the Nerazzurri and, although he has barely played or impressed, a clause in the loan deal means they may have no choice but to sign him up if they survive. Unless, perhaps, it turns out that like those islands the Mill mentioned earlier, no such player exists. Tonight’s FA Cup replay between Sunderland and Fulham, then, represents an ideal opportunity for eagle-eyed sleuths to determine whether Álvarez is midfielder or myth.