Football transfer rumours: Chelsea to sign Real’s Raphaël Varane and Jesé?

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2015/jan/16/football-transfer-rumour-mill-chelsea-real-madrid

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With his team yet to click smoothly into gear despite last summer’s trolley dash, Louis van Gaal looks set to embark on another one down the aisle marked Defenders and Midfield Enforcers. The Mirror reports that United bean-counters are prepared to sanction an outlay of £150m, which the Dutchman will use in an attempt to bring Southampton right-back Nathaniel Clyne, Roma midfielder Kevin Strootman and Borussia Dortmund centre-back Mats Hummels to Old Trafford.

A firm favourite of Van Gaal, who planned to build the Holland team that contested the World Cup around the midfielder until he was sidelined with a knee injury, Strootman has long been linked with a move to Old Trafford and Roma’s president, James Pallotta, has said he would be prepared to listen to “stupid” offers for the 24-year-old. Expect Manchester United to offer him a family bag of Skittles, a Stetson hat made from mature cheddar cheese and the bicycle made from antique tuba parts on which movie director Wes Anderson made his way to last weekend’s Golden Globe awards.

Despite José Mourinho having said he has no plans to add to his squad during the current transfer window, the Daily Express say he’s planning to “RAID” Real Madrid for defender Raphaël Varane and forward Jesé Rodríguez. Despite the hyperbolic language being used suggesting he may storm the Bernabéu wearing a balaclava, wielding a sawn-off shotgun before bundling the pair into the back of an unmarked Luton Transit, the smart money says he may adopt the more gentlemanly approach of offering £35m for the pair.

Virgil van Dijk is flattered that Celtic want him to stay in Glasgow until the end of the season, but the central defender would still like to move somewhere else. “I understand their attitude and see it as a compliment,” he said, before picking up a loudhailer and pointing it in the general direction of the Emirates and St Mary’s. “But we have to be realistic. If there is a nice club from England coming in we must sit down there. I would also develop as a player.”

Despite reports of interest from various clubs in Turkey and Italy, Tottenham Hotspur misfit Emmanuel Adebayor is determined to sit out the final 18 months of his contract with the Premier League club, where he is trousering well north of £100,000 per week for just turning up to training. Let’s be honest, who can blame him? Despite reports to the contrary, the brother and agent of Gonzalo Higuaín has denied reports that Liverpool are on the verge of triggering the £30m release clause in the Argentinian striker’s contract and says he has not discussed the matter with the Merseyside club. “I haven’t spoken to any club, firstly because they haven’t called me and secondly because it would be disrespectful to Napoli, it wouldn’t be fair,” said Nicola Higuaín. “[Napoli president Aurelio] De Laurentiis is a great person, a man of honour and I couldn’t behave incorrectly. We’re not thinking about leaving Napoli.”

With their £10m record signing Brown Ideye having failed to impress since arriving at the Hawthorns in the summer, West Brom hope that Brazilian striker Jonathas de Jesus can come in and “do a job” for them. A Pescara player who has been on loan at La Liga minnows Elche, Jonathas has scored seven league goals in 17 appearances in the Spanish top flight since pitching up in Alicante last August.

Crisp-munching Real Sociedad manager and man-of-the-people David Moyes will attempt to turn the head of Burnley striker Danny Ings when his contract expires this summer, but will face plenty of competition from a host of Premier League clubs who are monitoring the 22-year-old’s situation. And, despite likening Adnan Januzaj to Johan Cruyff, the Scot says he has no plans to try to sign Manchester United’s young winger . Moyes’s former Everton charge Kevin Mirallas has put his contract talks on hold, having decided he’ll see out the season at Goodison Park and enjoy a nice summer holiday before deciding his next move.

Alan Pardew’s plans to renew acquaintances with his former Newcastle charge José Enrique at Crystal Palace may be foiled by the Spanish full-back’s reluctance to go to Selhurst Park on loan. Pardew has also been giving Swansea striker Bafétimbi Gomis the glad eye, with Schalke and Dortmund also rumoured to be interested in prising the Frenchman away from the Liberty Stadium.

If Lucas Leiva thought he might be leaving Liverpool for Internazionale during the transfer window, he can think again, because our man on the Merseyside beat, Andy Hunter, says he’s going nowhere. Meanwhile at Villa Park, a mooted move for former footballer Scott Sinclair is reported to have stalled because Aston Villa have baulked at Manchester City’s £3m asking price.

And with Roma and Juventus both rumoured to be interested in signing Radamel Falcao from Monaco once his loan spell at Manchester United ends, the striker’s compatriot the decidedly bonkers Colombia legend Faustino Asprilla has said the striker’s relationship with Louis van Gaal has been fractured beyond repair. “If Van Gaal continues he will leave,” said Asprilla. “I think it is a relationship that has already been broken. Falcao understands that the coach does not want him. I remember when I went to Newcastle, Kevin Keegan wanted me. He supported me a lot and here it is obvious that Van Gaal does not trust Falcao.”