Saturday football clockwatch: as it happened!

http://www.theguardian.com/football/live/2015/jan/10/football-clockwatch-premier-league-updates-news-live

Version 0 of 1.

5.09pm GMT17:09

A dream, and possibly the plot to a moderately successful British film, spoiled by MK Dons. They have equalised with seconds to spare, and it finished Crawley 2-2 MK Dons. Also in League One, it finished Bristol City 4-0 Notts County, Crewe 3-1 Gillingham, Oldham 2-2 Doncaster and Sheffield United 2-1 Preston. In League Two, it finished Wycombe 1-0 York, Hartlepool 2-0 Cheltenham, Burton 2-1 Mansfield and Newport 1-0 Portsmouth. All today’s league results are here.

In La Liga, Real Madrid struggled past Espanyol 3-0 despite Fabio Coentrao’s red card. In the FA Trophy, it finished Burgess Hill 1-2 Dartford. Gah!

And finally, the update you’ve all been waiting for – here’s John in Brighton:

You’ll be pleased to know I’ve only managed to log 17 receipts out of 1,200 I’ve got to do. Stopped for a toastie.

Thanks for joining me. Bye!

Updated at 5.12pm GMT

5.03pm GMT17:03

Squeaky bum time

With Burnley, West Brom and Leicester all beating sides above them, behold the almighty scramble that is the relegation fight. Just five points separate Everton (12th) and Leicester (rock bottom). Crystal Palace are in action against Spurs shortly - join Nick Miller for that. You can also see all the tables you like, right here.

4.59pm GMT16:59

Championship full-times

Birmingham 3 Wigan 1 Blackpool 1 Millwall 0 Bolton 1 Leeds 1 Bournemouth 1 Norwich 2 Brentford 1 Rotherham 0 Cardiff 1 Fulham 0 Charlton 0 Brighton 1 Huddersfield 3 Watford 1 Ipswich 0 Derby 1 Nottm Forest 0 Sheff Wed 2 Reading 0 Middlesbrough 0

4.58pm GMT16:58

FT: Swansea 1-1 West Ham

And finally, a point each at the Liberty Stadium, as Andy Carroll opens the scoring, before Gomis, via a hefty intervention from Mark Noble, made it 1-1.

4.56pm GMT16:56

FT: West Brom 1-0 Hull

West Brom play about as well as usual, but win. The Pulis Effect.

4.56pm GMT16:56

FT: Burnley 2-1 QPR

Burnley edge past QPR thanks to Danny Ings’ winner. Can Burnley stay up? They look the most likely of the three promoted sides right now. Tenth (TEN) away loss for QPR this season.

4.54pm GMT16:54

FT: Chelsea 2-0 Newcastle

Newcastle dominated the first half, but were undone by Oscar’s goal, and brilliant assist for Diego Costa. Chelsea return to first in the table outright.

4.53pm GMT16:53

FT: Leicester 1-0 Aston Villa

Michael Oliver blows the final whistle as Clark and James continue their discussion down the tunnel. A Paul Konchesky goal gets the Foxes another vital 1-0 win.

4.52pm GMT16:52

Full-time: Everton 1-1 Man City

Steven Naismith’s simple header immediately cancels out Fernandinho’s late opener. Both teams could have won, both will probably take a draw.

4.50pm GMT16:50

RED CARD(S)! James (Leicester) and Clark (Aston Villa) off!

The heat spills over at Leicester - you’ll recall similar scenes when the teams met at Villa Park in December, and Matty James and Ciaran Clark are both red carded! Into injury time there, and indeed elsewhere.

Updated at 4.50pm GMT

4.47pm GMT16:47

MK Dons have got one goal past backup keeper Matt Harold at Crawley - the home side still lead 2-1. In the Championship, it’s Huddersfield 3-1 Watford and Brentford 1-0 Rotherham.

4.44pm GMT16:44

Frank Lampard is on at Goodison Park, where both sides have traded half-chances; first Aguero, then Mirallas missing openings. Villa threatening intermittently at Leicester, where it remains 1-0 to the home side. At the Liberty, Fabianski spills Aaron Cresswell’s free kick, but Carroll misses from four yards out! More like it, Andy.

4.42pm GMT16:42

Burnley have had a goal chalked off at Turf Moor - after a traditional penalty box melee, the ball goes in, but Barnes had fouled Rob Green. Ten-man Norwich lead Bournemouth 2-1 through Cameron Jerome - an upset of sorts, although the Canaries were two divisions above the Cherries last season. Here’s Jason Kavanagh:

How could any Nottingham Forest player focus on their game today? Psycho Pearce glaring at your every mistake on the touchline and Roy Keane glaring at your every mistake in the stand. There might not be too many of the home team heading for the players’ lounge after this game.

They’ll be hoping Tim Sherwood is waiting for them. Imagine hoping for Sherwood.

Updated at 4.44pm GMT

4.38pm GMT16:38

GOAL! West Brom 1-0 Hull (Berahino)

Breakthrough at the Hawthorns! Anichebe rolls a free kick to Berahino, and the little sulker blasts it past McGregor. He celebrates.

Updated at 4.58pm GMT

4.36pm GMT16:36

GOAL! Everton 1-1 Man City (Naismith)

They’re not behind any more! Leighton Baines whips in a cross and Naismith nips in ahead of Joe Hart, into the net! Not sure what Hart was doing there.

Updated at 4.36pm GMT

4.35pm GMT16:35

Mirallas on for McGeady at Goodison Park. This would be a fifth straight league defeat for Everton, who have had chances, but can’t complain too bitterly about being behind...

4.32pm GMT16:32

GOAL! Everton 0-1 Man City (Fernandinho)

Title race back on! City break, Nasri crosses low, Silva shoots, the ball loops in the air from a deflection, and Fernandinho is there to nod home. Protests from Roberto Martinez that the Brazilian was offside, but it stands.

Updated at 4.45pm GMT

4.31pm GMT16:31

GOAL! Swansea 1-1 West Ham (Gomis)

Wilfried who? Bafetimbi Gomis bundles one in to equalise! Although it was deflected in off Mark Noble. So it may, in fact, be a Noble own goal. Wilfried who?!

Updated at 5.16pm GMT

4.29pm GMT16:29

These are the latest Premier League scores; just the one goal, care of Diego Costa, since half-time.

Burnley 2-1 QPR

Chelsea 2-0 Newcastle

Everton 0-0 Man City

Leicester 1-0 Aston Villa

Swansea 0-1 West Ham

West Brom 0-0 Hull

4.28pm GMT16:28

Sergio Aguero is on at Goodison Park in place of the largely ineffectual Stevan Jovetic. Everton have bundled the ball into the net, but it’s correctly ruled out for a foul on Joe Hart.

The goals continue to pile up mercilessly in the Football League – it’s Huddersfield 1-1 Watford, Hartlepool 2-0 Cheltenham, Birmingham 3-1 Wigan and Sheffield United 2-0 Preston.

4.25pm GMT16:25

Quite a story brewing at the... checkatrade.com Stadium, as Crawley now lead MK Dons 2-0. It’s Charlton 0-1 Brighton, Rohan Ince giving Chris Hughton’s team the lead. At Stamford Bridge, Sammy Ameobi is on for Gouffran as John Carver shows his underwhelming hand. Ameobi makes a half-chance from the left early on though, but Cech tips over.

Here’s Vishnu Prashanth:

With this “Ings for Ingland” clamour, I really doubt whether the Three Lions should be led by three Dannys.

If we’re looking for concepts around which to build a national side, three strikers with the same name makes sense to me.

4.20pm GMT16:20

Man City need a goal to keep pace with Chelsea, but despite some exemplary work from David Silva, they can’t break through. At Swansea, Garry Monk has brought on Barrow and Emnes in place of Routledge and Dyer, with Gomis still responsible for leading the line. He’s just smashed over from eight yards. Two teams in need of Wilfried Bony, in short.

4.18pm GMT16:18

GOAL! Chelsea 2-0 Newcastle (Diego Costa)

No matter – it looks like game over, thanks to Diego Costa, who ran on to a delightful Oscar flick and cut the ball low into the far corner.

Updated at 4.34pm GMT

4.16pm GMT16:16

At Goodison Park, Romelu Lukaku gets the better of Mangala but is denied by Joe Hart. Lukaku and Mangala: £60 million of footballer, there. Penalty shout for Chelsea, but Roger East waves away several whiny, persistent appeals for a handball by Coloccini.

4.14pm GMT16:14

Chances spurned in the Premier League – Andy Carroll turns a low Carl Jenkinson cross wide, and Brad Guzan tips over a flying header from Matty James.

No such problems in the Championship, it’s Huddersfield 1-0 Watford, Bolton 1-1 Leeds and Forest 0-2 Sheff Weds. Oh, Psycho.

4.10pm GMT16:10

A brouhaha brewing at the Bernabeu - Fabio Coentrao is sent off after a clash with Cañas. Ronaldo is booked for dissent, which shows what he thought of it. Still 2-0 to Real.

4.07pm GMT16:07

Burton’s table-topping dreams are shattered as Wycombe take the lead against York. Worth repeating: Wycombe were 23rd in the table going into the last day of last season. Good old League Two.

Meanwhile, in the Scottish Premiership:

4.04pm GMT16:04

Back underway at Goodison Park, where despite 11 shots on goal from the visitors, Everton came closest in the first half. Ross Barkley takes a free kick from 25 yards out, left of the goal, and pings it wide with Joe Hart on his heels.

Updated at 4.22pm GMT

3.59pm GMT15:59

In League One, Bristol City lead Notts County 2-0, and it’s Crewe 2-0 Gillingham in a battle between bottom four sides. Crawley, just outside the relegation zone, lead promotion-chasing MK Dons 1-0 at half-time, but currently have striker Matt Harold in goal. Could be a long second 45 minutes in deepest Sussex.

In League Two, Burton lead 2-0 at home to Cheltenham. Unless Wycombe can win at home to York, the Brewers will go top; it’s 0-0 at half-time. Bottom club Hartlepool, with just three league wins all season, are a goal up against Cheltenham.

And finally, it’s the invincible Burgess Hill 1-1 Dartford in the FA Trophy. Back soon.

3.52pm GMT15:52

Championship half-time scores

Birmingham 2 Wigan 1 Blackpool 1 Millwall 0 Bolton 0 Leeds 1 Bournemouth 1 Norwich 1 Brentford 0 Rotherham 0 Cardiff 1 Fulham 0 Charlton 0 Brighton 0 Huddersfield 0 Watford 0 Nottm Forest 0 Sheff Wed 1 Reading 0 Middlesbrough 0

In La Liga, it’s Real Madrid 2-0 Espanyol at half-time. A lad by the name of Gareth Bale got the second.

3.50pm GMT15:50

Updated at 3.59pm GMT

3.50pm GMT15:50

Premier League half-time scores

Burnley 2-1 QPR

Chelsea 1-0 Newcastle

Everton 0-0 Man City

Leicester 1-0 Aston Villa

Swansea 0-1 West Ham

West Brom 0-0 Hull

Updated at 3.50pm GMT

3.48pm GMT15:48

In the midst of that melee, Seamus Coleman hit the woodwork for an otherwise unimpressive Everton. And news that might bring a smile to the face of Tim Sherwood (but probably not Roy Keane) – it’s Nottingham Forest 0-1 Sheffield Wednesday.

Updated at 4.00pm GMT

3.47pm GMT15:47

GOAL! Leicester 1-0 Aston Villa (Konchesky)

It’s all happening, as Paul Konchesky beats Brad Guzan at his near post with a zipping drive. That’s his first Premier League goal for six years.

3.46pm GMT15:46

GOAL! Swansea 0-1 West Ham (Carroll)

Lovely goal from Andy Carroll, as he chests down Stuart Downing’s cross, skips past two defenders and curls the ball into the corner. Carroll for England?

Updated at 4.31pm GMT

3.44pm GMT15:44

GOAL! Chelsea 1-0 Newcastle (Oscar)

In unsurprising news, Chelsea round off a meek half of football by taking the lead against marauding Newcastle. Oscar meets Ivanovic’s cutback from a smart short corner, and it’s 1-0 Chelsea.

Updated at 4.02pm GMT

3.43pm GMT15:43

Two changes already for Hull, with Robbie Brady and Tom Ince replacing Nikica Jelavic and Abel Hernandez, who has picked up an injury. Brady tests Ben Foster with a stinging shot, but the Baggies keeper makes a strong one-handed save. Brown Ideye has missed a sitter. It’s not all going to plan for Big Tony just yet...

Updated at 3.58pm GMT

3.40pm GMT15:40

3.40pm GMT15:40

GOAL! Burnley 2-1 QPR (Ings)

Only one place to be in the top flight this afternoon... Danny Ings has put Burnley back in front, finishing with his left after a smart through ball by Ashley Barnes. Ings or Austin for England? Or both?

Updated at 4.01pm GMT

3.39pm GMT15:39

Moussa Sissoko strikes the post for Newcastle! Chelsea might want to get their act together here. Man City continue to control the ball, but both games are still goalless. So there.

3.37pm GMT15:37

Championship bottom club Blackpool lead 1-0 at home to Millwall, thanks to Peter Clarke. Scottish Premiership leaders Aberdeen, chasing an eighth successive win and clean sheet, lead St. Mirren 2-0. Back in the second tier, leaders Bournemouth are pegged back by Norwich, as Gary Hooper makes it 1-1.

3.34pm GMT15:34

GOAL! Burnley 1-1 QPR (Austin penalty)

Austin makes no mistake. That’s his 13th goal of the season.

Updated at 3.52pm GMT

3.33pm GMT15:33

Penalty to QPR...

Dean Marney trips Charlie Austin in the area, and Austin will take the kick against his former club...

3.32pm GMT15:32

Man City have had a decent amount of the ball, but haven’t done much with it, with Jesus Navas and now Samir Nasri passing up chances. Saido Berahino has done similar at the Hawthorns, where it’s a rather drab 0-0 so far. It’s still goalless at Stamford Bridge, despite Newcastle’s best efforts...

Updated at 3.32pm GMT

3.30pm GMT15:30

3.23pm GMT15:23

After Lazar Markovic impressed for Liverpool earlier, Remy Cabella is by all accounts running the show at Stamford Bridge - although after winning a free kick, Newcastle get caught on the break and Diego Costa misses a decent chance. Any other underwhelming summer signings set to shine today? Giorgios Samaras, anyone?

3.20pm GMT15:20

Charlie Austin hits the post for QPR, just failing to wrap his foot sufficiently around a cross from Isla. At Stamford Bridge, Merse tells us it is ALL NEWCASTLE, which means Newcastle have been competitive. No goals there yet - but there’s goals in the Championship. Matt Ritchie volleys in the opener for league leaders Bournemouth against Norwich, and it’s Cardiff 1-0 Fulham. What was that about red being lucky? And it’s Birmingham 2-0 Wigan already.

Updated at 3.21pm GMT

3.15pm GMT15:15

GOAL! Burnley 1-0 QPR (Arfield)

Brilliant start for Burnley, as Scott Arfield cuts in from the left, embarrasses Isla and Dunne with some fancy footwork before curling the ball into the far corner. QPR set for a tenth consecutive away defeat.

Updated at 3.26pm GMT

3.14pm GMT15:14

Villa are lining up with five in midfield behind Christian Benteke, but that doesn’t stop them dishing up a sitter for David Nugent – but the Leicester forward can’t finish it. Dreadful miss. In La Liga, it’s Real Madrid 1-0 Espanyol, James Rodriguez with the strike.

3.11pm GMT15:11

Bad start of the day goes to Motherwell, who are already 2-0 down at Dundee. Better news for Burton, who lead 1-0 at Mansfield, and Bristol City, who lead by the same score at Ashton Gate. And what’s this? Cardiff City – in blue!

3.08pm GMT15:08

Gomis tries to make waves against West Ham, seeing a shot deflected to Nathan Dyer, then just failing to connect with Dyer’s cross. In the Championship, it’s Bolton 0-1 Leeds and Birmingham 1-0 Wigan early on – and there’s an unseemly circus brewing at Forest...

Updated at 3.08pm GMT

3.05pm GMT15:05

Everton are lining up with Ross Barkley in behind Romelu Lukaku as they seek to turn things around against Man City. Prior to last season’s cathartic 3-2 win at this ground, City had a dreadful recent record at Goodison, so there’s hope to go with the driving wind on Merseyside.

3.02pm GMT15:02

A reminder

With players jetting off to the Africa Cup of Nations and Asian Cup, there’s a few faces absent from the 3pm kick-offs. Cut out and keep this list for excuses if your team loses:

Newcastle: Chiek Tioté, Demba Papiss Cissé

Everton: Christian Atsu

Man City: Yaya Touré

Leicester: Riyad Mahrez

Swansea: Ki Sung-Yeung, Wilfried Bony

West Ham: Chiekhou Kouyate (Alex Song and Diafra Sakho are both out today, but not on their way to Equatorial Guinea)

West Brom: Youssuf Mulumbu

Here’s John in Brighton:

Thank you. Steve Bruce at Weddings is the most magical and disturbing thing I have seen this year.

John is trying to complete his tax return. At 3pm on a Saturday? Come on.

Updated at 3.16pm GMT

2.56pm GMT14:56

Five minutes until we get started. Bit of news from the Liberty Stadium: Big Sam is poorly, so isn’t at the ground, or even in Wales, this afternoon. Neil McDonald, apparently fresh from the airport, will fill in.

2.53pm GMT14:53

Updated at 2.55pm GMT

2.39pm GMT14:39

Full-time at the Stadium of Light, and it’s finished Sunderland 0-1 Liverpool. The Reds are now just four points off a Champions League place, although perhaps not for long.

2.35pm GMT14:35

Word circulating on ever-reliable social media source Twitter is that Courtois is out with a thumb injury, first picked up against Spurs.

Other news of note: at Goodison Park, Vincent Kompany and Sergio Agüero are on the bench alongside Frank Lampard. For QPR, Adel Taarabt makes his first start since October, while Mauro Zarate is on the bench, having joined on loan from West Ham. For Swansea, Bafetimbi Gomis will begin the tricky task of replacing Wilfried Bony today.

2.27pm GMT14:27

Latest scores

It’s Sunderland 0-1 Liverpool at the Stadium of Light. Nick Miller has that one covered. In the Championship, it’s just finished Ipswich 0-1 Derby, which means the Rams overtake the Tractor Boys and go level on points with Bournemouth.

2.22pm GMT14:22

Those are the teams for today’s six Premier League kick-offs. While you’re waiting for said teams to get to work, why not enjoy my new favourite Twitter account? It’s Steve Bruce at Weddings...

Most heartbreaking moment of 2014 #stevebruceatweddings pic.twitter.com/8XjBVzWqB0

2.15pm GMT14:15

Burnley v QPR

Burnley: Heaton, Trippier, Keane, Shackell, Mee, Arfield, Jones, Marney, Boyd, Barnes, Ings.

Subs: Wallace, Vokes, Kightly, Reid, Jutkiewicz, Gilks, Duff.

QPR: Green, Isla, Dunne, Caulker, Hill, Vargas, Henry, Barton, Fer, Taarabt, Austin.

Subs: Traore, Phillips, McCarthy, Mutch, Zamora, Onuoha, Zarate.

Swansea v West Ham

Swansea: Fabianski, Rangel, Fernandez, Williams, Taylor, Carroll, Britton, Dyer, Sigurdsson, Routledge, Gomis.

Subs: Nelson Oliveira, Emnes, Tiendalli, Tremmel, Bartley, Fulton, Barrow.

West Ham: Adrian, Jenkinson, Collins, Reid, Cresswell, Tomkins, Noble, Nolan, Downing, Carroll, Valencia.

Subs: Jarvis, Vaz Te, O’Brien, Amalfitano, Jaaskelainen, Poyet, Cole.

2.11pm GMT14:11

Tony Pulis picks his first league line-up, and it’s an attacking one, with Ideye, Sessegnon and Berahino, still being widely pilloried for the heinous act of not wildly celebrating four goals against Gateshead, all starting.

West Brom v Hull

West Brom: Foster, Wisdom, McAuley, Lescott, Baird, Morrison, Yacob, Brunt, Ideye, Sessegnon, Berahino.

Subs: Gardner, Anichebe, Myhill, Pocognoli, Dorrans, Dawson, Samaras.

Hull: McGregor, Bruce, Davies, Chester, Elmohamady, Meyler, Livermore, Quinn, Figueroa, Hernandez, Jelavic.

Subs: Huddlestone, Brady, Maguire, McShane, Dawson, Harper, Ince.

2.07pm GMT14:07

Everton v Man City

Everton: Robles, Coleman, Jagielka, Stones, Baines, Besic, Barry, McGeady, Naismith, Barkley, Lukaku.

Subs: Eto’o, Oviedo, Kone, Mirallas, Garbutt, Alcaraz, Griffiths.

Man City: Hart, Zabaleta, Demichelis, Mangala, Clichy, Fernando, Fernandinho, Jesus Navas, Silva, Nasri, Jovetic.

Subs: Caballero, Sagna, Kompany, Kolarov, Sinclair, Caballero, Aguero, Lampard.

Leicester v Aston Villa

Leicester: Hamer, Simpson, Wasilewski, Morgan, Konchesky, Albrighton, Hammond, James, Knockaert, Nugent, Ulloa.

Subs: Schwarzer, De Laet, Vardy, King, Lawrence, Moore, Wood.

Aston Villa: Guzan, Hutton, Okore, Clark, Cissokho, Sanchez, Westwood, Cleverley, Cole, Agbonlahor, Benteke.

Subs: Baker, Bacuna, Weimann, Richardson, N’Zogbia, Given, Lowton.

Updated at 2.13pm GMT

2.03pm GMT14:03

Team news!

Beginning at Stamford Bridge... where Gary Cahill and Thibaut Courtois are on the bench! Kurt Zouma and Petr Cech replace them.

Chelsea v Newcastle

Chelsea: Cech, Ivanovic, Zouma, Terry, Azpilicueta, Fabregas, Matic, Willian, Oscar, Hazard, Costa.

Subs: Luis, Ramires, Drogba, Mikel, Courtois, Remy, Cahill.

Newcastle: Krul, Janmaat, Coloccini, Williamson, Dummett, Colback, Anita, Cabella, Sissoko, Gouffran, Perez.

Subs: Haidara, Vuckic, Ameobi, Riviere, Woodman, Santon, Armstrong.

2.00pm GMT14:00

“The winning line-up will be used for today’s trip to Burnley...”

Here's your blank team sheet! Tweet us your #BURvQPR predicted line-up! We'll reveal today's side at 2pm pic.twitter.com/PD2M2hveD5

1.57pm GMT13:57

To the Football League... and beyond

Plenty of piping hot action from Tiers 2-4 today. Nottingham Forest host Sheffield Wednesday, with Stuart Pearce clinging on at the City Ground by a thread. Two bosses with slightly more goodwill in the locker are Norwich’s Alex Neil and Brighton’s Chris Hughton: both make their Championship bows today, as their teams travel to leaders Bournemouth and Charlton respectively. Another man who knows a bit about goodwill is Cardiff’s Vincent Tan. Apparently, the festive season has given him pause, and he’s set to allow the Bluebirds to play in their traditional colours again, at least against Fulham.

In League One, choice cuts include Sheffield Utd v Preston, Bristol City v Notts County, Crawley v MK Dons and (apropos of nothing) Oldham v Doncaster. In League Two, bottom side Hartlepool have a winnable home game against Cheltenham, Newport host Portsmouth and Jimmy Floyd’s Burton entertain Mansfield.

You might think that’s enough, but you’d be bang wrong. We’ll also keep you abreast of Real Madrid v Espanyol in La Liga, and St. Mirren against leaders Aberdeen in the Scottish Premiership. Finally, a shout to the last unbeaten league team in England’s top eight tiers. I’m talking, of course, about Burgess Hill Town, who take on Dartford in the FA Trophy today.

Updated at 4.44pm GMT

1.45pm GMT13:45

Preamble

January is a time of year for questions, not answers. Like - where did all that cake go? How much will that gym pass cost you per visit? Why is the sky so low? At least in football, with several off-field narratives already clanking along interminably, this week we got some closure.

How would Oldham handle the inevitable media circus that followed their attempt to sign a convicted rapist? Terribly. Who would then appear from left field to make a bungling statement that outstripped all other parties for rank stupidity? Gordon Taylor. Will he join the MLS? Yes. Was he ever going to join the MLS? Probably not. Can they play in the same midfield? They can’t even play in the same expanding global market!

So, to today. Can we find the same answers on the field of play? Will Chelsea or Manchester City make a decisive move in the title race? Are Newcastle about to employ a manager who regularly eats a pie within five minutes of the full-time whistle? As for Everton, four league defeats on the spin could become five today. Just what exactly is going on, Roberto?

At least one of Burnley, QPR, Leicester and Aston Villa will stay up. One has to. But which one? Can QPR halt an away run of form that would embarrass a UEFA minnow? And at the King Power Stadium, will Lambert or Pearson be first to take a swing for an irate supporter? Can Swansea fill their Wilfried Bony sized hole up front? Can West Ham fill their Andy Carroll sized hole up front?

And finally, West Brom have bundled Alan Irvine through a side door in order to welcome Tony Pulis, like some sort of saviour. Were Hull right to resist giving big Steve Bruce the same shoddy treatment? There’s a long way to go this season, but after 90 minutes at the Hawthorns, I want a definitive answer from all of you.

Here are today’s 3pm Premier League games:

1.45pm GMT13:45

Niall will be here soon.