Non-believers push for legal recognition of humanist weddings
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Version 0 of 1. When Emma Horan and Sam Whitney get married next summer they will commit themselves to each other in a special place, surrounded by their family and closest friends, but, as things stand, the wedding ceremony will not be recognised in law because their belief system is not based on religion. They are one of the hundreds of couples in England and Wales due to have a humanist wedding next year who are awaiting the government’s response, which could come this week, to a public consultation on whether non-religious belief organisations, including the British Humanist Association (BHA), should be allowed to conduct legally enforceable weddings. Currently, the privilege is limited to religious organisations and registrars, meaning that couples having a humanist ceremony must have a second wedding at a register office to be married in law. Horan, who works for a media company in London, said: “It’s completely unfair that our beliefs are not taken seriously, at least in the eyes of the law. It’s integral for us that our family and friends recognise that we believe in humanism and want our marriage to be reflective of that. We’ve felt that our family and friends – almost certainly through a lack of awareness – won’t see this as our ‘real’ wedding because it’s not legal. Of course we hope that by the time we marry there will be a change in the law.” The 30-year-old, who was raised as a Catholic, said the couple would go to the register office if necessary but there would be no dressing up or photographs because the humanist ceremony would be their “real” wedding. Humanists are non-religious but place human welfare and happiness at the centre of their reasoning. Despite the lack of legal force for their weddings, about 800 are held in England and Wales each year, with 80% of the couples also having a civil ceremony. The number of humanist ceremonies is likely to rise if the government, which has promised a response by 1 January to the consultation, commits itself to a law change. In Scotland the ceremonies got legal status in 2005 and last year the Humanist Society Scotland performed more than 3,000 marriages, making up a quarter of religion or belief-based marriages in Scotland and 12% of the total. Humanist weddings are highly personalised, allowing couples to choose their own vows and location. Horan and Whitney have picked a barn in South Milton, Devon, with the ceremony to be held on the beach it overlooks, weather permitting. There will be American music, food and decoration, reflecting the couple’s love of the US. Whitney, 31, a consultant technician at a garage, said: “While register office weddings serve their purpose and might be suitable for some people, I don’t feel that we could make it personal to us. We would like a wedding that reflects our beliefs and what we stand for. Surely the day that binds us together should be a celebration of everything that we share as a couple?” It is understood that about 1,900 responses to the consultation, which took place in the summer, were received, more than three-quarters of which were in favour of recognising non-religious belief ceremonies in law. But it was reported on Sunday that, despite support from the Lib Dems, No 10, which refused to comment, is blocking change because it considers it a fringe issue. Tamsin Lancashire-Ball, 31, a teacher, and her husband, Darren, 37, a graphic designer, had a humanist wedding in August last year and strongly support a change in the law. She said: “We felt it would be quite hypocritical [to have a church wedding] when it’s not really what we believe in. Making a strong promise to something we don’t believe in is not a good way to start a marriage.” The couple had a register office wedding but said they did not consider themselves married until their humanist ceremony at the viewpoint on Hengistbury Head, a headland near Bournemouth. The BHA celebrant, who conducted the ceremony, gave them valuable guidance before the wedding, they said. It was his suggestion to incorporate handfasting into their ceremony, a pagan tradition where the couple’s hands are symbolically tied together with ribbons, which is a common feature of humanist weddings. They are vehemently opposed to the suggestion in the consultation that even if humanist ceremonies are given legal force, the locations where they can be held could be restricted. Tamsin Lancashire-Ball said: “People said it was the best wedding they’ve ever been to. They were really pleased how personal it was and that they were a part of this really personal thing.” The BHA chief executive, Andrew Copson, said: “Every argument against giving legal recognition to humanist marriages was comprehensively demolished in both the House of Commons and the House of Lords, and civil servants we met with then confirmed that there were no practical barriers to legalisation were the political decision to go that way. “Government delayed legalising humanist marriage last year to consult on the demand for such ceremonies and to look into the implications of legalisation. We are confident it has been demonstrated demand is high and that the change would be a simple one. There is no reason that it should not go ahead other than ideology or bigotry.” Simon Hughes, the justice minister, said the government would respond in due course to the consultation. |