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| Aldi and Lidl’s best and worst luxury Christmas food – taste test | Aldi and Lidl’s best and worst luxury Christmas food – taste test |
| (2 days later) | |
| Five of the best | Five of the best |
| Aldi, specially selected four-bird roast, £9.99 | Aldi, specially selected four-bird roast, £9.99 |
| Your four birds are chicken, turkey, duck and goose. Despite the phrase “added water” cropping up repeatedly in the ingredients, this is a satisfyingly meaty roast. The gamey flavours of the duck and goose (6% and 5% of the 1.58kg, respectively) shine through, as does the pork, sage and onion stuffing. An optional marmalade glaze has a peculiarly sharp orange flavour, so skip that. Similarly, Aldi’s five-bird roast (£9.99) is spoiled by its OTT clementine stuffing. | Your four birds are chicken, turkey, duck and goose. Despite the phrase “added water” cropping up repeatedly in the ingredients, this is a satisfyingly meaty roast. The gamey flavours of the duck and goose (6% and 5% of the 1.58kg, respectively) shine through, as does the pork, sage and onion stuffing. An optional marmalade glaze has a peculiarly sharp orange flavour, so skip that. Similarly, Aldi’s five-bird roast (£9.99) is spoiled by its OTT clementine stuffing. |
| Aldi, specially selected large scallops in garlic butter, £4.49 | Aldi, specially selected large scallops in garlic butter, £4.49 |
| Six genuinely large scallops (none of those queenie nuggets here), which – after I shaved a minute off the recommended cooking time – came out of the pan perfectly plump and persuasively sweet. Note: it is difficult to cook them without some of the chopped garlic catching in the pan, which produces a distinctive, background bitterness in the butter. But this is knife-edge cooking. Overdo those scallops and they will turn into rubbery pucks. You need to be on your game. | Six genuinely large scallops (none of those queenie nuggets here), which – after I shaved a minute off the recommended cooking time – came out of the pan perfectly plump and persuasively sweet. Note: it is difficult to cook them without some of the chopped garlic catching in the pan, which produces a distinctive, background bitterness in the butter. But this is knife-edge cooking. Overdo those scallops and they will turn into rubbery pucks. You need to be on your game. |
| Lidl, wild smoked sockeye salmon, £19.99/kg (eg 375g side, £7.50) | Lidl, wild smoked sockeye salmon, £19.99/kg (eg 375g side, £7.50) |
| This side of north-east Pacific salmon would make an attractive centrepiece. Its sweet flesh is firm, as you expect of wild salmon, and its salty, beechwood-smoked flavours are clear and complementary. The darker, drier edges are particularly tasty. Of course, there is better smoked salmon out there, but a top-end, artisan product would cost you at least double the price. | This side of north-east Pacific salmon would make an attractive centrepiece. Its sweet flesh is firm, as you expect of wild salmon, and its salty, beechwood-smoked flavours are clear and complementary. The darker, drier edges are particularly tasty. Of course, there is better smoked salmon out there, but a top-end, artisan product would cost you at least double the price. |
| Aldi, Freeman’s Bay Marlborough Sparkling sauvignon blanc, £9.99 | |
| Many cheaper sparkling wines are heartburn in a glass: too tart, too dry, too harsh. This is a much mellower glass of fizz, which, in its crisp exuberance, delivers the typical sauvignon blanc flavours (lime, gooseberry), with far more elan than Aldi’s flabby, overly sweet Marlborough Private Bin sauvignon blanc (£7.99). | Many cheaper sparkling wines are heartburn in a glass: too tart, too dry, too harsh. This is a much mellower glass of fizz, which, in its crisp exuberance, delivers the typical sauvignon blanc flavours (lime, gooseberry), with far more elan than Aldi’s flabby, overly sweet Marlborough Private Bin sauvignon blanc (£7.99). |
| Aldi, specially selected wild lobster tails with garlic butter, £9.99 | Aldi, specially selected wild lobster tails with garlic butter, £9.99 |
| Objectively, Aldi’s whole cooked crabs (£3.99) offer far better value. But if you really want lobster, these tails (two in each pack which, when split into four pieces, give you about five or six mouthfuls each), are pretty delicious. They are also a lot less hassle to dissect than Iceland’s whole cooked lobsters (£5), which, once you clean out the roe, give up rather chewy, flat-tasting flesh. | Objectively, Aldi’s whole cooked crabs (£3.99) offer far better value. But if you really want lobster, these tails (two in each pack which, when split into four pieces, give you about five or six mouthfuls each), are pretty delicious. They are also a lot less hassle to dissect than Iceland’s whole cooked lobsters (£5), which, once you clean out the roe, give up rather chewy, flat-tasting flesh. |
| Five of the worst | Five of the worst |
| Aldi, the exquisite collection chianti classico riserva, £8.99 | Aldi, the exquisite collection chianti classico riserva, £8.99 |
| It delivers the advertised dark fruit flavours and you get the spicy backdraft you expect from an oak-aged riserva. But it is all rather functional. It feels thin in the mouth, the flavours are somewhat blunted, its spiciness plays out rather dirtily. It’s drinkable, sure, but for nine quid? Disappointing. | It delivers the advertised dark fruit flavours and you get the spicy backdraft you expect from an oak-aged riserva. But it is all rather functional. It feels thin in the mouth, the flavours are somewhat blunted, its spiciness plays out rather dirtily. It’s drinkable, sure, but for nine quid? Disappointing. |
| Lidl, salmon caviar, £3.99, 50g | Lidl, salmon caviar, £3.99, 50g |
| Caviar should be exhilarating in its precise, briny intensity. This salmon roe is sticky like jam, oily as it pops against your palate and bracingly fishy. Eaten on toast, it becomes a gluey, inedible mush. Use it to garnish a dish if you must, but, unless you’re the world’s worst poseur, why bother? | Caviar should be exhilarating in its precise, briny intensity. This salmon roe is sticky like jam, oily as it pops against your palate and bracingly fishy. Eaten on toast, it becomes a gluey, inedible mush. Use it to garnish a dish if you must, but, unless you’re the world’s worst poseur, why bother? |
| Lidl, smoked Scottish salmon, £2.65, 200g | Lidl, smoked Scottish salmon, £2.65, 200g |
| Scottish salmon, processed, but of course, in Poland. It has not come back from its holiday refreshed. The texture is greasy and gelatinous and its ineffectual smoke is one-dimensional. You might be able to use it as an ingredient in, say, a quiche, but served on its own it would be badly exposed. | Scottish salmon, processed, but of course, in Poland. It has not come back from its holiday refreshed. The texture is greasy and gelatinous and its ineffectual smoke is one-dimensional. You might be able to use it as an ingredient in, say, a quiche, but served on its own it would be badly exposed. |
| Aldi, specially selected luxury cheese selection £4.99, 430g | Aldi, specially selected luxury cheese selection £4.99, 430g |
| Five cheeses, of which only the Long Clawson stilton passes muster. The two French entries (brie, St Paulin) are instantly forgettable, the cheddar trails a weird, almost edam-like aftertaste, while the wensleydale with (far too many) sweetened cranberries is disastrous – a crime against cows, if not humanity. The Lidl British Cheeseboard (£5.99, 470g) is far better, but my advice? Spend your cheese money at a deli counter. | Five cheeses, of which only the Long Clawson stilton passes muster. The two French entries (brie, St Paulin) are instantly forgettable, the cheddar trails a weird, almost edam-like aftertaste, while the wensleydale with (far too many) sweetened cranberries is disastrous – a crime against cows, if not humanity. The Lidl British Cheeseboard (£5.99, 470g) is far better, but my advice? Spend your cheese money at a deli counter. |
| Lidl, serrano ham, 6.5-7.5kg, £39.99 | Lidl, serrano ham, 6.5-7.5kg, £39.99 |
| Yes, a whole leg, but do not get excited. This serrano (unappetisingly pale in parts, chewy rather than melting), looks and tastes cheap. You get a base cured flavour and some damp, earthy minerality, but none of the alluring depth and complexity you expect. I tasted this with someone who loves a freebie as much as he loves serrano. He refused to take any home. | Yes, a whole leg, but do not get excited. This serrano (unappetisingly pale in parts, chewy rather than melting), looks and tastes cheap. You get a base cured flavour and some damp, earthy minerality, but none of the alluring depth and complexity you expect. I tasted this with someone who loves a freebie as much as he loves serrano. He refused to take any home. |