Strictly Come Dancing – behind the scenes of BBC1’s Saturday night blockbuster

http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2014/dec/13/strictly-come-dancing-peter-robinson

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Friday is a relatively relaxed day in the world of Strictly Come Dancing, the ratings-trouncing light-entertainment behemoth that brought jazz hands and sparkles back to primetime in 2004. As props are assembled prior to the next night’s live broadcast, it’s the first opportunity for the contestants to go through routines outside their rehearsal spaces, and so it is that, within tangoing distance of a miniature windmill, Simon “From Blue” Webbe is explaining how he came to join the show. “I got the call,” he explains. “‘Would you like to do Strictly?’ they said. Yes! I couldn’t play the cool card on this. There was no, ‘Can I think and call you back’. Immediate yes.”

Simon is classic Strictly material: a household name in one sense, but at a career crossroads in another, altogether more pressing sense. Most star-packed shows throw a lifeline to drifting celebs but Strictly is one of the few whose denouement offers a glimmer of dignity. Bruno Tonioli may hurl a withering remark in Simon’s direction, but he won’t have to eat a kangaroo’s bumhole.

Sitting at the judges’ table I find production co-ordinator Fifi Neill, who’s worked on Strictly since series one. “I personally never thought it would work,” she hoots. “I went for lunch with the head of comedy and entertainment at the time, and I said, ‘Oh, I can’t see this catching on.’ How wrong was I?” Wrong to the tune of around 10 million viewers a week, she’d cheerily admit, and today’s well-oiled run-through reflects the show’s apparently effortless ascent to the ratings summit. While the banging and crashing associated with The X Factor in 2014 has a distinct whiff of fin de siècle, Strictly’s unzeitgeisty appeal could allow it to run indefinitely.

A tour of the site reveals the scale of the operation. This time tomorrow, the outdoor marquee will hold over 700 audience members, selected from 1.6 million applicants; inside, along endless corridors and multiple floors are dressing rooms, overflow costume stores and a dedicated spray-tan room. I stick my head into Darcey Bussell’s dressing room, which is almost completely empty, save for a solitary pair of shoes. Back outside, walls are lined with clothes rails, and I am pleased to report that Russell Grant’s genie outfit is ready ahead of next week’s Christmas show pre-record.

In the costume department, I meet head designer Vicky and her team. Minor alterations are being made to Frankie Bridge’s dress, though it’s not uncommon for entire frocks be conjured from nothing at 24 hours’ notice. Aiming for some light-hearted garment-based chitchat, I ask how many sequins pass through this room in an average series. Silence descends.

“There are no sequins,” says one assistant.

“They’re stones,” says another.

I have, quite innocently, committed a terrible faux pas. Everyone is looking at me. “On each dress there could be 4,000 stones,” Vicky eventually says. “You’re welcome to count them,” someone pipes up. I feel like my sequin gaffe has soured the mood, so I make my excuses and leave.

Back in the studio, I meet producer Vinnie Shergill, who books the contestants. “Jake’s been good this year,” she reports, referring to EastEnders actor Jake Wood. “Who knew Max Branning could dance?” Well, you knew, presumably? “Yes, I do know in advance,” she admits. “I do a lot of research.” Casting, she explains, is a year-long process. “I don’t even want to think how many requests I get from agents asking for their talent to be booked,” she says, “but it’s about character, personality and getting the right mix. It’s like a jigsaw puzzle, everything has to fit.” So if Rihanna called but she didn’t fit, you’d say:‘Do you know what Rihanna, you’re all right’? “I would not say no to Rihanna,” Vinnie states. “That would be the end of my career.”

Vinnie doesn’t seem too impressed when I suggest the Chuckle Brothers for 2015, but there’s plenty of time to get them on board: this year’s lineup wasn’t finalised until the end of July. And in contrast to something like Celebrity Big Brother where most big names breathe a sigh of relief when they’re evicted, Strictly contestants are naturally competitive. “There’s no point doing Strictly if you don’t want to win the glitterball trophy,” Vinnie insists. “You can’t go through the motions, darling.”

I put this to Iveta Lukosiute, a Lithuanian-born dancer currently living in a nearby Elstree hotel. Despite her celebrity dance partner Thom Evans being eliminated from the show two weeks ago, she’s still involved with the group numbers. I ask how it feels to be eliminated, expecting a magnanimous response. “It’s awful!” she shrieks. “I wanna be there to the end! I wanna be in every episode! My dream partner would be a winner. No, I’m joking. Well, I’m half joking.”

With only her best interests in mind I bring up my Chuckle Brothers idea. It seems they didn’t make it to Lithuania so Iveta suggests “Mr Bean or David Beckham” instead. But as I leave having planted the seed in the minds of two key Strictly personnel, I’m already anticipating moustachioed samba lols for 2015. Don’t forget where you read it first.