I mean, srsly: YouGov’s profiler thinks I’m Boris Johnson

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/nov/18/mrs-camerons-diary-yougov-profiler-boris-johnson

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Well Mummy rang, like srsly stressed, I was like OMG what, she was like, I think you should sit down before I tell you. I’m like what, she is like I am sorry to say that Oka does not feature on YouGov’s profiler, do get Dave to make a law stopping it quickly before anyone finds out. I was like oh please, take no notice of a stupid market research tool, Oka is way bigger than that, it shows how high-end you are, trust me *crosses fingers* everyone we know is desperate for one of your Taj Mahal-themed paperclip holders. She was like, and I am sorry to have to be the one to tell you darling, nor does Smythson.

I was like *interior voice* W.T.A.F, *external one* so they must have left out upscale accessory brands, she was like, no honestly darling, do look, they have definitely got Mulberry, they’re all divine ABC1s, I’m like *strangled voice* whatever you do, do not tell me Jimmy Choo is on there, she’s like oh yes, lovely rightwing ABC1s, lucky them, but do look, Louis Vuitton is all lefty C2DEs from East Anglia, how hilair, oh dear, what’s this. I’m like, tell me, she’s like, poor Anya Hindmarch is nowhere to be seen #yaaaay.

Well I did not say to Mummy but I do think people who have time to spend all day playing on YouGov’s profiler are actually quite immature? I mean Dave has to, obvs, plus I did not have a choice after the Goveys kept going go on, you totally MUST look yourself up, you will not BELIEVE, which was *quite* mean since they must have known my fans are dogmatic old men who like Margaret Mountford? I was like, Dave, srsly, I blame you for this, I used to be friends with Tricky, now the people who like me are fans of Andy Williams and model-making, basically I am Boris Johnson. Dave’s like, wait, this is ledge, people who buy Hermes love watching Carry on at your Convenience AND Carry on Behind, wow, even Conservatives are classier! I’m like, ha, did I not always say that, thank you God, Dave’s like, one other thing babes – he’s not on it either :)))