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Say what? The arcane wisdom of Jaden and Willow Smith Say what? The arcane wisdom of Jaden and Willow Smith
(about 4 hours later)
It is becoming increasingly clear that an interview with Jaden Smith is a journey though a dazzling palace of utter nonsense. Yesterday’s interview in the New York Times about his new album, Cool Tapes Vol. 2, proved this beyond all doubt.It is becoming increasingly clear that an interview with Jaden Smith is a journey though a dazzling palace of utter nonsense. Yesterday’s interview in the New York Times about his new album, Cool Tapes Vol. 2, proved this beyond all doubt.
Nobody in Hollywood does clattering incomprehensibility better than Jaden Smith. Aside, that is, from his 14-year-old sister Willow, who sat in on the chat (she’s also got an EP out, called 3).Nobody in Hollywood does clattering incomprehensibility better than Jaden Smith. Aside, that is, from his 14-year-old sister Willow, who sat in on the chat (she’s also got an EP out, called 3).
In fact, the only way to get through the interview is to treat the whole thing as a game of Bullshit Tennis between Jade and Willow. For example, when asked the ostensibly simple question “What are you reading?”, Willow makes a bold start by replying: “Quantum physics. Osho.”In fact, the only way to get through the interview is to treat the whole thing as a game of Bullshit Tennis between Jade and Willow. For example, when asked the ostensibly simple question “What are you reading?”, Willow makes a bold start by replying: “Quantum physics. Osho.”
In most situations, that would be an unbeatable response. But then, completely out of leftfield, Jaden manages to counter her nonsense with the bewildering: “The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life and ancient texts; things that can’t be pre-dated.”In most situations, that would be an unbeatable response. But then, completely out of leftfield, Jaden manages to counter her nonsense with the bewildering: “The Ancient Secret of the Flower of Life and ancient texts; things that can’t be pre-dated.”
Now the game is afoot. Oh sure, Willow, you’re reading the teachings of an Indian mystic from the 1960s, but Jaden is reading stuff so old that science can’t even pinpoint its origin. His mind vibrates on a higher plane than yours. Surely it’s all over. Now the game is afoot. Oh sure, Willow, you’re reading the teachings of an Indian mystic from the 1960s, but Jaden is reading stuff so old that science can’t even pinpoint its origin. His mind vibrates on a higher plane than yours. Surely it’s all over.
But wait! Ancient texts be damned – there isn’t a single author, living or dead, who can match Willow Smith for outright profundity, and this is something that she will readily admit. She dives to the ground, outstretches her arm and says: “There are no novels that I like to read, so I write my own novels, and then I read them again, and it’s the best thing”. But wait! Ancient texts be damned – there isn’t a single author, living or dead, who can match Willow Smith for outright profundity, and this is something that she will readily admit. She dives to the ground, outstretches her arm and says: “There are no novels that I like to read, so I write my own novels, and then I read them again, and it’s the best thing.”
Game Willow. New subject: the duality of the mind. Jaden to serve: “When you’re thinking about something happy, you’re thinking about something sad. When you think about an apple, you also think about the opposite of an apple”. Game Willow. New subject: the duality of the mind. Jaden to serve: “When you’re thinking about something happy, you’re thinking about something sad. When you think about an apple, you also think about the opposite of an apple”.
Aced it. Willow, temporarily unsure of what the opposite of an apple is (a pear? A tiger? Istanbul?), loses concentration and concedes a point. She has one last chance to win this. Everything rests on what she is about to say: “I went to school for one year. It was the best experience but the worst experience. The best experience because I was, like, ‘Oh, now I know why kids are so depressed.’ But it was the worst experience because I was depressed”. Aced it. Willow, temporarily unsure of what the opposite of an apple is (a pear? A tiger? Istanbul?), loses concentration and concedes a point. She has one last chance to win this. Everything rests on what she is about to say: “I went to school for one year. It was the best experience but the worst experience. The best experience because I was, like, ‘Oh, now I know why kids are so depressed.’ But it was the worst experience because I was depressed.”
The game is abandoned, because everyone in the crowd just died of an exploding skull. Their father, Will Smith, wouldn’t have got away with any of this back in West Philadelphia.The game is abandoned, because everyone in the crowd just died of an exploding skull. Their father, Will Smith, wouldn’t have got away with any of this back in West Philadelphia.