A lesson from a Bollywood star on what makes ‘a real man’
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Version 0 of 1. When a major Bollywood star, Aamir Khan, took on the issue of Indian masculinity in his popular weekly talk show on Sunday, the episode was inundated with 2.3 million telephone calls. The hashtag #ARealMan trended on Twitter for two days. “Behave yourselves, Aamir Khan tells Indian men,” an article in Firstpost.com said. Khan rose to stardom dancing, beating up bad guys and harassing his heroines on screen to get them to say yes in true Bollywood style. During his talk show, “Satyamev Jayate,” Khan tackled notions of masculinity and what makes “a real man” in Indian culture. Khan, a star of blockbuster movies, asked men in the studio audience what words they would use to describe a real man. Brave? Protector? Strong? But the women in the audience struck down each of the words. They offered other attributes — emotionally weak, egoist, aggressive, angry. And definitely not "protectors." “It is quite clear that women do not see us the way we see ourselves,” Khan said on the show. “Aggressive, angry, controlling, egotist — these form a dangerous cocktail whose results we see daily on the streets.” The show clearly touched a nerve and comes after two years of rising anger over sexual assaults on women set off by the brutal gang-rape of a young woman in a moving bus in New Delhi in 2012. The gang rape — the woman later died — triggered unprecedented public conversations about prevailing misogyny and male privilege. Khan said Indian movies routinely show heroes saying and doing things that are deeply offensive to women but that are portrayed as alpha-male attributes. “The movies teach us if you stalk and harass a woman, she will eventually fall in love with you,” Khan said. “I feel ashamed that I, too, have acted in such movies.” Male participants spoke about how they were taught not to shed tears or express fears as little boys; trained to treat women as objects; how local proverbs encouraged men to beat their wives, and make their wives walk behind them in public. A recent U.N. report slammed Indian movies over their sexualization of women. Khan said the response to his show must send a message to the movie industry. A viewer on the special audience-feedback segment of the show, titled “Mumkin Hai,” or “It’s Possible,” said: “As a mother, and as a woman, a change in the movies is something I really really look forward to. Because my child is growing, and his questions are growing with him.”
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