Why Lorraine Kelly wouldn’t compliment Robert Downey Jnr on his bum
|
Version 0 of 1. In case you were wondering what Robert Downey Jr thinks of TV host Lorraine Kelly’s knockers, here’s the definitive answer: he thinks they’re pretty nice. “I said hello and he looked at me and said, ‘nice tits’,” she told Jonathan Ross in an interview that airs tomorrow night, adding that such a comment is “difficult to respond to” in a professional context. In Now magazine, condensed into lad banter, this story has become “Lorraine Kelly: Robert Downey Jr loved my boobs”, followed by the chummy, let’s-all-have-a-bloody-great-laugh admonishment: “C’mon Lorraine, there’s no harm in looking!” To which I might add: yeah, Lorraine, why can’t you just learn to chill out once in a while? Kelly has probably been taking a leaf out of some female parliamentarians’ books, who are notorious for being totally unrelaxed about men touching and commenting on their bodies. Edwina Currie, that well-known prude, spoke last year about how she’d avoid getting in the lift with certain parliamentary colleagues because: “You didn’t want to find that when you got to your floor, you were pushing their hand from under your skirt.” Labour peer Oona King – clearly no fun on a Saturday night – complained that men would shout “Melons! Melons!” and make hand gestures whenever a woman stood up in the chamber, as if that isn’t all part of the fun of working in government. And let’s not forget how Angela Eagle got her knickers in a twist over being told to “Calm down, dear,” by the PM, never mind when Nadine Dorries had the gall to complain about sexual innuendos surrounding her perceived “frustration”. If women can’t take constant jokes about their bodies while in a professional environment, then maybe they shouldn’t have joined the workforce in the first place. After all, isn’t this something men have had to deal with for years? Which prime minister hasn’t had to put up with an older female colleague copping a cheeky feel once in a while? Are we really supposed to believe Jeremy Paxman didn’t have his female interviewees tell him he had a “cracking arse” just before going on air every now and then? How many male CEOs haven’t battled their way to the top through a deluge of sneering, leering women shouting “Boner! Boner!” at them and pointing to their crotches when they stand up to present their annual numbers? Men just take this stuff in their stride, knowing we’re all sexual creatures and there’s no harm in looking – or loudly complimenting – every once in a while. Women, on the other hand, have to get all emotional about it. Of course, I’m being facetious. We know men don’t have to fend off unwanted sexual comments and advances throughout their careers in the way women do. We know it, and yet we find all sorts of arguments to explain it away. By far the most common is pretending that feminists who have a problem with this sort of behaviour actually believe that flirtation or sexual language in general is inherently bad, or inherently disrespectful. It’s so much harder to actually defend the idea that a stream of bodily observations is acceptable and desirable in a work context. What I’ve always found so galling about this sort of behaviour is that it’s so often attributed to the supposedly uncontrollable male sex drive. Men see something they like and just want to express their admiration, goes the argument. They can’t help it, or keep the thoughts inside their heads, because … penises. At the end of the day, they’re just paying you a compliment – and who doesn’t want to hear that they have nice tits? The problems with this assumption are manifold, but I’d like to concentrate on one. This is the idea that the catcalling, undermining gestures and unexpected breast-related observations are all about chasing sex. Put simply, there is no way this can be true. Robert Downey Jr didn’t expect to be invited to fondle Lorraine Kelly’s boobs in the dressing room afterwards. Edwina Currie’s skirt-explorers didn’t imagine their groping would lead to a steamy session in the lift. Similarly, the catcaller who sped down my road last week, offering to “sort me out”, wasn’t expecting me to chase after his car, begging him to take me home and carry out his promise. This relentless need to subject women to feedback about their bodies is based upon structures of power. Whether it’s conscious or not, the men who do it to the women who are preparing for a TV interview or standing up to deliver a speech on immigration are reminding those women of their own superior social positions. They are putting those women back in their place. They are saying: you may be acting the part of a professional now, but really you’re only worth as much as your body. Stop having ideas above your station. Perhaps it’s time to turn our attention away from the women when sexism in the office is afoot. Perhaps, instead of telling women to get a sense of humour, we should start questioning whether a joke was ever really made at all. |