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What I learned in a sexual consent class at Oxford What I learned in a sexual consent class at Oxford
(about 1 hour later)
New students – both undergrad and postgrad – at Oxford and Cambridge are coming to terms with a controversial inclusion in their timetables: sexual consent workshops have been added to induction programmes, nestled between fire safety talks and library tours at about half of all Oxbridge colleges.New students – both undergrad and postgrad – at Oxford and Cambridge are coming to terms with a controversial inclusion in their timetables: sexual consent workshops have been added to induction programmes, nestled between fire safety talks and library tours at about half of all Oxbridge colleges.
Broaching the subject with new Oxford students has provoked an almost universal choreography of dismissive jerks and sighs, rolling of eyes, and exasperated tutting.Broaching the subject with new Oxford students has provoked an almost universal choreography of dismissive jerks and sighs, rolling of eyes, and exasperated tutting.
“Isn’t sex ed for schoolchildren?” they ask me, rhetorically. And “surely if someone is monstrous enough to want to rape someone, they won’t also be reasonable enough to be talked out of it?”. And also, “how can you ‘teach’ someone not to rape?”“Isn’t sex ed for schoolchildren?” they ask me, rhetorically. And “surely if someone is monstrous enough to want to rape someone, they won’t also be reasonable enough to be talked out of it?”. And also, “how can you ‘teach’ someone not to rape?”
Their questions played on my mind: what chance did a bunch of well-meaning students have of turning the tide of sexual violence, armed with only pamphlets, whiteboard markers and clipboards?Their questions played on my mind: what chance did a bunch of well-meaning students have of turning the tide of sexual violence, armed with only pamphlets, whiteboard markers and clipboards?
With some apprehension, I arrived at St John’s College Oxford one night last week to take part in its sexual consent workshop, curious to see what actually happened behind closed doors.With some apprehension, I arrived at St John’s College Oxford one night last week to take part in its sexual consent workshop, curious to see what actually happened behind closed doors.
I joined a group of students and a graduate student facilitators on sofas in the college common room. The gender ratio in our group was mixed: two male students and three female students, at various stages in their academic lives ranging from undergraduates to those completing PHDs.I joined a group of students and a graduate student facilitators on sofas in the college common room. The gender ratio in our group was mixed: two male students and three female students, at various stages in their academic lives ranging from undergraduates to those completing PHDs.
Our facilitator opened the session by asking students not to recount any personal stories of rape or sexual assault. The reason was twofold: she was not a qualified counsellor who could give professional support, and any graphic description of such a crime could trigger distress in other survivors of rape present in the room.Our facilitator opened the session by asking students not to recount any personal stories of rape or sexual assault. The reason was twofold: she was not a qualified counsellor who could give professional support, and any graphic description of such a crime could trigger distress in other survivors of rape present in the room.
Everyone was welcome to leave at any time without explaining why, a provision made in case anyone found any material upsetting or objectionable in any way.Everyone was welcome to leave at any time without explaining why, a provision made in case anyone found any material upsetting or objectionable in any way.
We were then asked to complete a short quiz about the rates of sexual or gender crimes in the UK. We were asked to think about the number of students raped, assaulted or stalked at British universities, how many of them were male or female, and where these crimes were most likely to take place.We were then asked to complete a short quiz about the rates of sexual or gender crimes in the UK. We were asked to think about the number of students raped, assaulted or stalked at British universities, how many of them were male or female, and where these crimes were most likely to take place.
The statistics were striking and provided a framework for the ensuing discussions – around 400,000 women are sexually assaulted each year, we were told. Some 80,000 women are raped each year, 52% of female students have experienced some kind of harassment in or near their institution, 11% of those sexually abused are male.The statistics were striking and provided a framework for the ensuing discussions – around 400,000 women are sexually assaulted each year, we were told. Some 80,000 women are raped each year, 52% of female students have experienced some kind of harassment in or near their institution, 11% of those sexually abused are male.
We were invited to discuss three different scenarios of sexual contact through imagined personal testimonies. For each, we were asked to consider if the contact was consensual, why we thought this, and how we felt that the situation could have been handled instead.We were invited to discuss three different scenarios of sexual contact through imagined personal testimonies. For each, we were asked to consider if the contact was consensual, why we thought this, and how we felt that the situation could have been handled instead.
After discussing the three testimonies, the group was asked to agree on a definition of consent. Suggestions included “continuous agreement”, “initiation and enthusiasm about what is taking place” and “being of sound and sober enough mind to make a judgement call”.After discussing the three testimonies, the group was asked to agree on a definition of consent. Suggestions included “continuous agreement”, “initiation and enthusiasm about what is taking place” and “being of sound and sober enough mind to make a judgement call”.
As the workshop came to a close, we were given a list of helplines and support services to discuss any concerns we had, ranging from the 999 emergency line, to a harassment advisory network, the local rape crisis network, and a charity that supports male survivors of sexual violence.As the workshop came to a close, we were given a list of helplines and support services to discuss any concerns we had, ranging from the 999 emergency line, to a harassment advisory network, the local rape crisis network, and a charity that supports male survivors of sexual violence.
One thing that struck me over the course of the hour-long workshop was how seldom the term “rape” was used. Rather than the negative phrasing “do you think this person has been raped?”, the question was framed positively: “do you think consent was sought and granted here?”One thing that struck me over the course of the hour-long workshop was how seldom the term “rape” was used. Rather than the negative phrasing “do you think this person has been raped?”, the question was framed positively: “do you think consent was sought and granted here?”
If we had entered the workshop looking for a strict definition of consent that we could apply to our lives, we found no such thing. Rather, we left more aware of the complexity of consent and how it depends on a nuanced understanding of context rather than a mere box-ticking exercise.If we had entered the workshop looking for a strict definition of consent that we could apply to our lives, we found no such thing. Rather, we left more aware of the complexity of consent and how it depends on a nuanced understanding of context rather than a mere box-ticking exercise.
It will, of course, never be known if any among our number in the common room were potential rapists who have now been deterred. However, the students left equipped to have difficult but necessary conversations, in their own sexual relationships as well as in supporting friends and classmates.It will, of course, never be known if any among our number in the common room were potential rapists who have now been deterred. However, the students left equipped to have difficult but necessary conversations, in their own sexual relationships as well as in supporting friends and classmates.
Instead of perpetuating stereotypes of villain rapists lurking in dark alleyways, we were made to consider how assault occurs on campus, in public and perhaps in relationships.Instead of perpetuating stereotypes of villain rapists lurking in dark alleyways, we were made to consider how assault occurs on campus, in public and perhaps in relationships.
Dark discussions, but as the statistics on campus assaults prove, necessary ones nonetheless.Dark discussions, but as the statistics on campus assaults prove, necessary ones nonetheless.
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