Has The X Factor run out of singers?

http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2014/oct/27/has-the-x-factor-run-out-of-singers

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Sunday night’s X Factor finished like any other: the two lowest-rated acts performed weepy songs containing none-too-subtle lyrics about deserving a second chance. They then awaited the judges’ gladiatorial thumbs up or thumbs down to see if they would fight another week.

In this instance, Only the Young – a boy/girl four-piece whose eyes-and-teeth take on camp pop seems to unconvincingly mask some kind of repressed childhood horrors – performed The Winner Takes it All. They were competing with Jake Quickenden (whose high-street stubble and carefully ripped jeans all form some horror show of Gillette-curated masculinity), who was performing Daniel Merriweather’s Red (a song about finding fault where there is none).

Normally, this decision is presented as painstakingly difficult, with the judges umm-ing and ahh-ing over whom to send home and Dermot hamfistedly rushing them to make a decision so they can squeeze in a weepy “best bits” before Downton starts. But last night, Simon said what the country was thinking: “I want to be honest with you – they were both terrible. I don’t know what’s going on with the sing-offs here. This is two weeks in a row.”

This should have been the best X Factor in years. Gary Barlow’s “most boring man in the boardroom” schtick was replaced with Mel B’s northern frankness and Simon’s daddy-knows-best self-assurance. It also seemed a more interesting crop of contestants, including Stephanie Nala, who had the perfect saccharine voice for turn-of-the-century UK garage, and Blonde Electra, a Gaga-esque duo who were allegedly raised in a sex cult led by their father.

But the interesting contestants were knocked out straight away, and we’ve been left with a bland bunch of largely indistinguishable men and two competent women, Lauren Platt and Fleur East, whose passable performances will surely see them through to the final. Unlike previous years, where the contestants have merely been dull, this year many of them really, really can’t sing. Some have voices so wispy that they are indistinguishable from the chunky backing tracks and others seem to have never been able to pick out a tune in their life. None of them, with the possible exception of Lauren, seem like they’re in the final rounds of the biggest singing competition in Britain.

Just to make sure I don’t have selective memory, I re-watched a few classic performances from The X Factor US. I know most British people have never watched it, but the American X Factor was the high watermark of all entertainment programming in television history; the Manchester United to the UK’s Ipswich Town. The show just oozed talent from every pore, from stunning vocal harmony groups to old-school classic soul. By comparison, the UK show is not only under-par but woefully embarrassing.

One theory for this dearth of talent is simply that we have run out of decent singers. With The Voice, Britain’s Got Talent and The X Factor running year after year, maybe they’ve discovered all the talent there is. Perhaps they all need a fallow year like Glastonbury, where 17-year-old boys singing Paolo Nutini with acoustic guitars are allowed to graze.

But this is a broken theory. Britain produces hundreds of new talented vocalists each year, all of whom are desperate for the tiniest chance of exposure. What’s changed is that most singers, even from relatively modest backgrounds with no “industry” connections, no longer see The X Factor as the best route to a career in music. They’ve seen too many perfectly decent people chewed up and spat out; lives ruined by the tabloids with barely a top-40 single to show for it.

Crucially, there are far easier and more successful ways to get into pop these days. Instead of going through 20 weeks of prime-time torture, why not just guest on a Rudimental song (or similar house-pop anonymous producer)? It worked for Sam Smith, John Newman, Jess Glynne and Ella Eyre. Otherwise, you can do what the likes of Jessie J and Birdy did and just post your stuff to YouTube, hoping it’s good enough for someone to notice.

In the meantime, can I suggest that The X Factor utilise technology they’ve already created in their PS3 X Factor game, which punishes you for missing too many notes? Anyone scoring less than 90% should be led quietly off the stage by a sombre Dermot. The whole series would be over by next week.