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| Version 1 | Version 2 |
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| Why do I find going on holiday so stressful? | Why do I find going on holiday so stressful? |
| (7 months later) | |
| Isn't it a miracle that so many of us are still more or less sane? The world is such a madhouse. But I think I may be losing my grip a bit. I'm about to go on holiday, but am I overjoyed and excited? No. I am weak with terror. So weak that I have to keep lying down for a sleep, so that I have barely any time left to work or pack, which means more worry, breathing difficulties, exhaustion, and more lying down, thinking of all the things that will probably go wrong once I set off. | Isn't it a miracle that so many of us are still more or less sane? The world is such a madhouse. But I think I may be losing my grip a bit. I'm about to go on holiday, but am I overjoyed and excited? No. I am weak with terror. So weak that I have to keep lying down for a sleep, so that I have barely any time left to work or pack, which means more worry, breathing difficulties, exhaustion, and more lying down, thinking of all the things that will probably go wrong once I set off. |
| If I set off. How far will I get? What if the underground breaks down with me trapped in it, underground, unable to get to the Eurostar? I'll miss the train and won't go anywhere. Which might be a bit of a relief, because then I can stay home and not worry about the dog, my main concern. | If I set off. How far will I get? What if the underground breaks down with me trapped in it, underground, unable to get to the Eurostar? I'll miss the train and won't go anywhere. Which might be a bit of a relief, because then I can stay home and not worry about the dog, my main concern. |
| Daughter is going to move in and look after it. Which should be fine, but will she even get there? Suppose she collapses on the way? Or is attacked, or crashes the car? I can see it now: Daughter unconscious in hospital and the dog alone and starving. And where will I be? Hundreds of miles away. | Daughter is going to move in and look after it. Which should be fine, but will she even get there? Suppose she collapses on the way? Or is attacked, or crashes the car? I can see it now: Daughter unconscious in hospital and the dog alone and starving. And where will I be? Hundreds of miles away. |
| "I've never known you not in a state of frenzied terror," says Fielding. "You need to man up. What will you do when something really serious happens? You can't go through life like this." | "I've never known you not in a state of frenzied terror," says Fielding. "You need to man up. What will you do when something really serious happens? You can't go through life like this." |
| I don't see that I have a choice. And now I hear that Channel tunnel security isn't that hot. "Yes, it's very long and there's a bit of it which regularly bursts into flame," says Fielding. He is not helping. | I don't see that I have a choice. And now I hear that Channel tunnel security isn't that hot. "Yes, it's very long and there's a bit of it which regularly bursts into flame," says Fielding. He is not helping. |
| Hopefully I'll be all right when I get there. I've been before, and nothing catastrophic happened. It's an orchestra holiday in France: rehearsals in the mornings, afternoons by the pool, dinners outdoors in the balmy evenings. Bliss. So I'm going again. Or trying to. It's just the run-up that is hellish. But I don't think I'll go next year. If there is a next year. I see four horsemen coming … |