By Tom Geoghegan BBC News Magazine As property prices have risen, people have taken to house sharing to see them through their 20s and 30s. But sharing your living quarters with people you hardly know can be laden with tension and resentment.
By Tom Geoghegan BBC News Magazine As property prices have risen, people have taken to house sharing to see them through their 20s and 30s. But sharing your living quarters with people you hardly know can be laden with tension and resentment.
The first time Jessica met her male housemate he woke her up at 3am, perched himself on her bed and tried to kiss her.
The first time Jessica met her male housemate he woke her up at 3am, perched himself on her bed and tried to kiss her.
"I said 'You'd better go' and he did," she recalls. "The next day I told him 'That can't happen again' but it did, twice."
"I said 'You'd better go' and he did," she recalls. "The next day I told him 'That can't happen again' but it did, twice."
Three months later, Jessica, in her early 30s, moved out. "It was a really cool and quirky house but living in that kind of situation meant it went very rapidly from something quite fun and adventurous to something that was quite depressing."
Three months later, Jessica, in her early 30s, moved out. "It was a really cool and quirky house but living in that kind of situation meant it went very rapidly from something quite fun and adventurous to something that was quite depressing."
FAMOUS HOUSEMATES Robbie Williams and Jonathan Wilkes (above)Ant and DecDavid Baddiel and Frank SkinnerTony Blair and Lord Falconer Although perhaps an extreme example, such conflicts and moments of awkwardness are commonplace in a society that is renting shared accommodation in greater numbers.
FAMOUS HOUSEMATES Robbie Williams and Jonathan Wilkes (above)Ant and DecDavid Baddiel and Frank SkinnerTony Blair and Lord Falconer Although perhaps an extreme example, such conflicts and moments of awkwardness are commonplace in a society that is renting shared accommodation in greater numbers.
A nervy housing market, more single people and increased immigration are factors contributing to the strongest demand for tenants in years, according to letting agents.
A nervy housing market, more single people and increased immigration are factors contributing to the strongest demand for tenants in years, according to letting agents.
Students are used to sharing but communal living can be a part of life for a decade while careers get off the ground and deposits are saved.
Students are used to sharing but communal living can be a part of life for a decade while careers get off the ground and deposits are saved.
There can be clear social benefits to being thrust together with others - countless friendships, relationships and marriages have a "Housemate wanted" advert to thank.
There can be clear social benefits to being thrust together with others - countless friendships, relationships and marriages have a "Housemate wanted" advert to thank.
But sharing a fridge, a kitchen sink, a television remote and a bathroom with others who have a different perspective on life is destined to be for many people a tense experience.
But sharing a fridge, a kitchen sink, a television remote and a bathroom with others who have a different perspective on life is destined to be for many people a tense experience.
Aggression
Aggression
Fashion lecturer Oonagh O'Hagan has compiled a book I Lick My Cheese based on 120 notes left my flatmates during 10 years of renting and the housemates of friends.
Fashion lecturer Oonagh O'Hagan has compiled a book I Lick My Cheese based on 120 notes left my flatmates during 10 years of renting and the housemates of friends.
They include barbed missives such as "I pay the rent, what do you do?", "Has anyone seen the kitchen?" and the more sinister "You know, that I know that you know that I know that you took it... So give it back".
They include barbed missives such as "I pay the rent, what do you do?", "Has anyone seen the kitchen?" and the more sinister "You know, that I know that you know that I know that you took it... So give it back".
One of the more bizarre complains about leaving toe-clippings on the cover of Vogue magazine.
One of the more bizarre complains about leaving toe-clippings on the cover of Vogue magazine.
Writing a note can be cathartic, she says, but usually only makes things worse.
Writing a note can be cathartic, she says, but usually only makes things worse.
Sex, fury and intrigue - is this life as a tenant?"It can be aggressive because you've crossed out the intimacy of talking to people. It's a very peculiar thing. The writer could be very pleasant to you in the hallway but then you find a note outside your door or on the fridge."
Sex, fury and intrigue - is this life as a tenant?"It can be aggressive because you've crossed out the intimacy of talking to people. It's a very peculiar thing. The writer could be very pleasant to you in the hallway but then you find a note outside your door or on the fridge."
The two biggest sources of friction, she says, are food and money.
The two biggest sources of friction, she says, are food and money.
"Sometimes people are living hand to mouth and not earning much, and they come in and find something they looked forward to eating has gone. There's nothing worse than being hungry but the other thing is money, which is an awkward topic."
"Sometimes people are living hand to mouth and not earning much, and they come in and find something they looked forward to eating has gone. There's nothing worse than being hungry but the other thing is money, which is an awkward topic."
Unpaid bills are what came between Carrie and a school friend with whom she shared a flat. Their property was served with a possession order because the flatmate had been falling behind with rent.
Unpaid bills are what came between Carrie and a school friend with whom she shared a flat. Their property was served with a possession order because the flatmate had been falling behind with rent.
"The first I heard of it was when the caretaker rang to say the landlord was evicting us and when would we be out," says Carrie. "I said 'They've never written to us or anything.'"
"The first I heard of it was when the caretaker rang to say the landlord was evicting us and when would we be out," says Carrie. "I said 'They've never written to us or anything.'"
Have that difficult conversation at the beginning, before the deal is done Amy Jenkins But they had sent a letter two months before and Carrie had been kept in the dark. She moved out four days later, counting the total cost as about £800 and a wounded, though still intact, friendship.
Have that difficult conversation at the beginning, before the deal is done Amy Jenkins But they had sent a letter two months before and Carrie had been kept in the dark. She moved out four days later, counting the total cost as about £800 and a wounded, though still intact, friendship.
"She's chirpy and warm and interesting and good company but her attitude to money is so different to mine. I earned much more compared to her so I always felt that money was a sensitive subject."
"She's chirpy and warm and interesting and good company but her attitude to money is so different to mine. I earned much more compared to her so I always felt that money was a sensitive subject."
House sharing is such a rite of passage these days it's easy to forget how recent a trend it is. Not long ago, singletons taking their first tentative steps away from home would likely find themselves in a bedsit or boarding house, where a watchful and ever-present landlady would ensure order at all times.
House sharing is such a rite of passage these days it's easy to forget how recent a trend it is. Not long ago, singletons taking their first tentative steps away from home would likely find themselves in a bedsit or boarding house, where a watchful and ever-present landlady would ensure order at all times.
Who can imagine a modern sitcom based on the dynamics of TV's Rising Damp, with Rigsby, the nosy landlord, cast centre stage? Instead, the exploits of Jeremy and Mark in Channel 4's Peep Show strike a more familiar note for today's young professionals.
Who can imagine a modern sitcom based on the dynamics of TV's Rising Damp, with Rigsby, the nosy landlord, its central character? Instead, the exploits of Jeremy and Mark in Channel 4's Peep Show strike a more familiar note for today's young professionals.
One of the most acutely observed TV portrayals in recent years was This Life, a drama set in the late 90s which revolved around the antics of a bunch of young lawyers sharing a house in south London.
One of the most acutely observed TV portrayals in recent years was This Life, a drama set in the late 90s which revolved around the antics of a bunch of young lawyers sharing a house in south London.
House rules
House rules
Its creator Amy Jenkins, who drew on personal experience in devising the programme, says she once had a housemate who rang a premium rate phone line and accidentally left the receiver off the hook.
Its creator Amy Jenkins, who drew on personal experience in devising the programme, says she once had a housemate who rang a premium rate phone line and accidentally left the receiver off the hook.
Terry and Bob shared a council flatA £350 bill arrived after he moved away and one of the housemates had to bail him out.
Terry and Bob shared a council flatA £350 bill arrived after he moved away and one of the housemates had to bail him out.
A house-sharer herself for 10 years, Ms Jenkins employed the tactic of throwing dirty crockery on the bed of those who didn't wash up, and she thinks the key to a happy household is to establish boundaries early on.
A house-sharer herself for 10 years, Ms Jenkins employed the tactic of throwing dirty crockery on the bed of those who didn't wash up, and she thinks the key to a happy household is to establish boundaries early on.
"Have that difficult conversation at the beginning, before the deal is done, when it's much easier to say things like 'This is my TV, you have your TV in your bedroom.'"
"Have that difficult conversation at the beginning, before the deal is done, when it's much easier to say things like 'This is my TV, you have your TV in your bedroom.'"
It's harder further down the line to lay down rules about food in the fridge, who takes out the rubbish and when the central heating should go on.
It's harder further down the line to lay down rules about food in the fridge, who takes out the rubbish and when the central heating should go on.
But having rules requires someone taking on the role of leader, she says, and it was usually her.
But having rules requires someone taking on the role of leader, she says, and it was usually her.
The names Jessica and Carrie are not the real names of the interviewees.
The names Jessica and Carrie are not the real names of the interviewees.
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