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Tulisa Contostavlos left 'paranoid wreck' by Mazher Mahmood drugs sting Tulisa Contostavlos considered suicide after Mazher Mahmood drugs sting
(about 1 hour later)
Tulisa Contostavlos has said her whole life was tarnished and she was left a paranoid wreck after falling victim to a tabloid cocaine sting, which led to a trial that collapsed last week. Tulisa Contostavlos has said she contemplated taking her own life after falling victim to a tabloid cocaine sting which led to a trial that collapsed last week.
The 26-year-old former X Factor judge and N-Dubz singer told BBC Radio 4's Today programme that she had been "made out to be a monster", adding: "I feel like I'm having to prove to people I'm not that monster." In a BBC3 documentary being aired on Monday night called Tulisa: the Price of Fame, the 26-year-old X Factor judge said she had suffered depression and had taken a potentially lethal concoction of painkillers and alcohol after an elaborate sting by the Sun on Sunday reporter Mazher Mahmood last year.
Contostavlos told ITV's Good Morning Britain that she had fallen victim to "a horrific and disgusting entrapment" that had left her depressed and paranoid. Mahmood, known as the "fake sheikh", posed as a film producer and led Tulisa to believe she was in the running for a £3.5m film deal to star opposite Leonardo DiCaprio.
She was set up by Sun on Sunday investigative reporter Mazher Mahmood, known as the "fake sheikh", who posed as film producer to entice her to deal drugs. She was accused of brokering an £860 cocaine deal, a charge she denied. In the documentary Contostavlos says the ordeal left her an "emotional wreck", adding: "I'd had a drink so everything felt even more intensified. I just picked up [the painkillers] and just necked them with a bottle of vodka. I don't even know what I was planning to do."
An ambulance was summoned by her assistant but the singer was not admitted to hospital. She said: "Luckily I was just drowsy. I woke up the next day just numb."
Recalling her emotional state that led her to consider suicide, Contostavlos said: "I don't have the energy any more to do this and even if I get through it, then what? I'm just going to be drained as a person.
"I'm going to be numb by the end of this. I don't know how much of me I'm going to have left. And I was like, shall I just end it? Shall I just get on with it and just never have to feel like this ever again?"
This is not the first time London-born Contostavlos has attempted to take her own life, having made two suicide attempts as a teenager.
The candid documentary follows the N-Dubz singer over her year-long ordeal, from the moment the news of the drug deal broke, and includes video footage filmed by Contostavlos herself.
The trial against the singer collapsed in dramatic fashion last week after it emerged that Mahmood had lied on the stand and had pressured his driver about evidence that showed that Contostavlos was opposed to drug use.
Mahmood is now subject to an investigation by the Crown Prosecution Service, which is now examining evidence given by the investigative reporter in dozens of past cases.
One scene in the documentary shows the 26-year-old sobbing and railing against Mahmood, who she calls "evil", on learning she is to be formally charged with brokering an £860 cocaine deal.
She said: "They've fucked me up good and proper. They're killing me, they're killing me, they're fucking killing me.
"I just want my life back. They've ruined me. This would never have happened unless they created the situation. They made it happen."
Contostavlos told BBC Radio 4's Today programme that she had been "made out to be a monster", adding: "I feel like I'm having to prove to people I'm not that monster."
She also told ITV's Good Morning Britain that she had fallen victim to "a horrific and disgusting entrapment" that had left her depressed and paranoid.
She told Radio 4: "I would say that part of it is a class thing, I do believe that. I think there are so many people in the industry, whether on purpose or accidentally, it's come out about them dabbling with class A drugs in some shape or form, and I feel like a lot of people have been forgiven quite easily and come out even bigger and better out of it.She told Radio 4: "I would say that part of it is a class thing, I do believe that. I think there are so many people in the industry, whether on purpose or accidentally, it's come out about them dabbling with class A drugs in some shape or form, and I feel like a lot of people have been forgiven quite easily and come out even bigger and better out of it.
"I feel like, with me, because of the whole urban image and the whole upbringing, I just feel like – you know when you feel you don't belong here – like people are trying to put you back in your place.""I feel like, with me, because of the whole urban image and the whole upbringing, I just feel like – you know when you feel you don't belong here – like people are trying to put you back in your place."
The trial collapsed in dramatic fashion last week after it emerged that Mahmood had lied on the stand and had pressured his driver about evidence that showed that Contostavlos was opposed to drug use.
Contostavlos told Radio 4 that the moment the trial collapsed last Tuesday it felt like she had "woken from a bad dream".Contostavlos told Radio 4 that the moment the trial collapsed last Tuesday it felt like she had "woken from a bad dream".
She said: "In my heart, I'd say there's no way they can be allowed to set me up like this, there's no way, but my head was saying to me: this is happening, it's actually happening. You're here in the dock, you're on trial and you could be going to prison for something you didn't do. So in that moment to find it was all over, everything felt surreal and intense. She said: "In my heart, I'd say there's no way they can be allowed to set me up like this, there's no way, but my head was saying to me: this is happening, it's actually happening. You're here in the dock, you're on trial and you could be going to prison for something you didn't do. So, in that moment to find it was all over, everything felt surreal and intense.
"There's a lot more to the story that didn't get to come out in my defence case. On the night in question, I'd broken up with my boyfriend, I was actually in bits, in tears, and everything up until that point was me acting, pretending that I was this bad girl, that I knew drug dealers, that I could do this and get that, and it was all part of a facade that I had to keep him thinking." "There's a lot more to the story that didn't get to come out in my defence case. On the night in question, I'd broken up with my boyfriend, I was actually in bits, in tears, and everything up until that point was me acting, pretending that I was this bad girl, that I knew drug dealers, that I could do this and get that, and it was all part of a facade."
She added: "I never dabbled in drugs, I never got into fights, I never portrayed anything negative. I simply would wear my cap backwards now and then and neck a vodka on stage. It was actually quite lighthearted.She added: "I never dabbled in drugs, I never got into fights, I never portrayed anything negative. I simply would wear my cap backwards now and then and neck a vodka on stage. It was actually quite lighthearted.
"I could become very bitter after it. I could have started disliking people, but it's made me do the opposite. If anything I'm more sensitive to other people's emotions and less judgmental. The tabloids that just make up stories and go to this level – I think it's disgusting. At the end of the day, I'm just picking up my life right now.""I could become very bitter after it. I could have started disliking people, but it's made me do the opposite. If anything I'm more sensitive to other people's emotions and less judgmental. The tabloids that just make up stories and go to this level – I think it's disgusting. At the end of the day, I'm just picking up my life right now."
Speaking on Good Morning Britain, Contostavlos added: "It just all got too much for me. I'm not going to sit here and want a pity party. It was a dark time, a very dark moment, but I've got through it and I am here today. Speaking on Good Morning Britain, Contostavlos added: "I'm not going to sit here and want a pity party. It was a dark time, a very dark moment, but I've got through it and I am here today.
"It's been a really, really hard year – the most difficult year of my life – but at the same time I always try to take a positive from a negative and it's given me the kind of life experience that you can't buy, that it takes some people 10 years to gain. It's also made me a wiser person. Stronger.""It's been a really, really hard year – the most difficult year of my life – but at the same time I always try to take a positive from a negative and it's given me the kind of life experience that you can't buy, that it takes some people 10 years to gain. It's also made me a wiser person. Stronger."
She added: "It's made me a paranoid wreck when it comes to people. You are always looking over your shoulder – who is out to get me next?"She added: "It's made me a paranoid wreck when it comes to people. You are always looking over your shoulder – who is out to get me next?"
On Friday, Contostavlos was found guilty of assaulting celebrity blogger Savvas Morgan at V festival and ordered to pay £3,020 in a fine and legal costs, but the singer refused to discuss the case on the grounds she is appealing against the conviction. On Friday, Contostavlos was found guilty of assaulting celebrity blogger Savvas Morgan at V festival and ordered to pay £3,020 in a fine and legal costs, but the singer refused to discuss the case on the grounds she is appealing it.