Commonwealth Games opening ceremony review – no lack of heart but a lack of oomph

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2014/jul/24/commonwealth-games-opening-ceremony-glasgow-review

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London 2012 got Danny Boyle; Glasgow 2014 got a clearly nervous Susan Boyle singing Mull of Kintyre and forgetting the words, and John Barrowman in an eye-watering haze of purple tartan. Those hoping against hope that Sean Connery and the Queen would parachute into Celtic Park in a cheeky Scottish nod to the James Bond sequence of the London Olympics Opening Ceremony were always going to be disappointed.

The budget was never going to run to that kind of grandstanding, but there were times during David Zolkwer's oddly lacklustre and unfocused production when you wondered whether someone – maybe all those people who should have been sitting in the glaringly empty seats in the stands – had scarpered down the pub with the entire budget. Or maybe they were just hiding under the seats in mild embarrassment that this was how this great, gritty, glorious city was being portrayed to the rest of the world.

Who could blame them? Glasgow is a city bursting with artistic talent in all areas from the visual arts to music, from contemporary performance to theatre and playwriting. It punches way above its size. But there was little evidence of that extraordinary creativity or imagination in a show that never lacked for heart (largely due to the contribution and evident enjoyment of the volunteers of all ages who took part), but which was often timidly bland and lacking in scale, spectacle and coherence.

Even Scottish Ballet's duet to a muted arrangement of the Proclaimers' normally rousing 500 Miles was pretty enough, but seriously lacking in oomph.

There were some moments of pure genius, including the gay kiss in the opening moments that made a clear statement to those 42 countries competing in the Games which have laws against homosexuality on their statute books. The Scottish terriers accompanying the athletes was another inspired touch, and the only thing nicer than actually biting into a Tunnock's Teacake is a giant dancing Tunnock's teacake. Of which there were several. Using the opportunity to raise money for UNICEF was another fine idea, well executed.

But too often it felt as if Zolkwer was striving to recreate some of the affecting oddities of Danny Boyle's London ceremony with its flocks of sheep and dancing nurses, but without the over-arching narrative of a nation having a conversation with itself about who it is, what it values and what place it might have in the modern world.

Instead Zolkwer fell back on stereotypes and clichés from spirited highland dancing on whisky barrels to a huge, loveable Nessie.

"This is our house and you're all very welcome," declared Karen Dunbar at the start. The invitation was welcome. But if London was like being invited to an eccentric large scale fancy dress party, full of layered political signals, then Glasgow was like being invited into a friendly family knees-up where nobody wanted to cause offence.

The kind of family gathering where you'll find Rod Stewart singing in the front room, and John Barrowman behaving like an embarrassing uncle who wouldn't stop dancing in the kitchen.