Is the Energizer really Bill Clinton's latest squeeze?

http://www.theguardian.com/theguardian/shortcuts/2014/jul/23/energizer-bill-clinton-affair-hillary

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Age: Unknown

Appearance: Blonde, busty

Isn't it rather dehumanising to describe a woman solely on the basis of her hair and breasts? It is, but in this case that's almost all we know about her. The Energizer is a shadowy figure who allegedly creeps unchallenged into Bill Clinton's home, enjoys his company, and then vanishes before his wife returns.

A bit like the Scarlet Pimpernel, but with Bill Clinton instead of French aristocrats, and sex instead of rescuing? Yes, kind of. And Hillary would be the guillotine, I suppose.

But how do we know this? Well, we don't know it for certain. It comes from yet another book about the Clintons, this one by a journalist called Ronald Kessler who recounts the experiences of secret service agents who protect US presidents. The book claims that Clinton guards allege Bill has a regular mistress, whom they have given the code name Energizer. The story has been neither confirmed nor denied by either Clinton.

Why do they call her Energizer? Something to do with the well-known brand of batteries? Perhaps she resembles a pink toy rabbit and carries a large drum? Unlikely.

Perhaps she in some other way posesses the qualities of high energy and endurance that the rabbit was designed to represent? Perhaps. The book isn't out yet, so we only have a few snippets to go on.

And what else do they say? Well, apparently she drives an SUV, arrives when Hillary is out, is generally liked by the agents, and has been known to bring them cookies. Bill and Hillary's guards allegedly collude to prevent Hillary and the Energizer ever meeting.

So just your average friendly, blonde, cookie-bearing woman with a nice car and breasts. Some might say it's the kind of thing that a bored secret service guy might dream up in a van. Yes. And Kessler's quotes do sound a bit like FBI-themed romantic fiction. "It was a warm day," one agent is supposed to have told him, "and she was wearing a low-cut tank top, and as she leaned over, her breasts were very exposed. They appeared to be very perky and very new and full … There was no doubt in my mind they were enhanced."

Did she also call him "big boy"? Kessler doesn't say.

Do say: "After his confirmed affairs with Monica Lewinsky and Gennifer Flowers, and allegations of affairs with Elizabeth Ward Gracen and Dolly Kyle Browning, you'd think Bill Clinton would have learned his lesson."

Don't say: "Would you?"