What you need to know about attending a university open day with your child

http://www.theguardian.com/education/2014/jun/30/parents-guide-university-open-days

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When Penny Edwards, student recruitment manager at the University of Brighton, was weighing up her own university options in the 1970s it would never have occurred to her to bring her parents to an open day. Nowadays, she says, students who don't bring one are unusual.

Perhaps you might be helping your child out with tuition fees or living costs, either way higher education is often a big family investment. "People are very concerned they are making the right choices," she says. But it should be the right choice for the student, not for the parent.

Dissatisfaction with their course is the main reason students drop out so they need to find out as much detail as possible about what the course will involve. Help your child to prepare some questions before the open day so they're sure to get all the information they need.

Your child also needs to work out whether the university and location will suit them and whether they can imagine themselves having a good time there. The best way of finding this out, says Edwards, is for them to speak to other students – so encourage your child to get chatting.

It can help students to have their parents come along – you're someone they can talk through their ideas with and you can offer support and a different viewpoint. But don't think you know everything. Edwards warns that higher education has changed dramatically; if you went to university themselves it will have been a very different experience.

Jonathan Shoobridge, who has just finished his first year studying English and politics at Kingston University, and went to some open days with his parents and some with friends, says: "It was probably better with a friend because they were in the same situation. My mum never went to university so she didn't really know what she was looking for."

The other problem, he says, is that "with your parents you have to censure yourself a bit".

Some universities now have separate sessions. "Potential applicants were cowed by having their parents there and weren't talking to their potential peers or opening up to academics," says a spokesman for the University of Reading, which decided to lay on special parent sessions this year.

As a parent you can help with the planning of open day visits, and maybe even act as a taxi service, but after that it is really down to the student.

Edwards recalls a couple who spent the journey back from an open day saying how wonderful it would be visiting their daughter there over the next few years. "Sorry to spoil your dreams," the daughter said eventually. "But I hated it."

• Have you been on an open day with your child? What was it like? Share your experience in the comments section below.