Papers take aim at coach McClaren

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The failure of England's footballers to qualify for Euro 2008 has the papers lining up to predict coach Steve McClaren's imminent demise.

The Daily Mail has a picture of him taking refuge under an umbrella on the Wembley pitch, and says he'll be remembered as "a wally with a brolly".

McClaren is described by the Guardian as "hopeless, hapless, helpless".

The Times offers up the next possible candidate for the thankless job as former Chelsea manager, Jose Mourinho.

'We stink'

The tabloids reflect the fury of the fans at being denied a chance to support their team through the European championship to be held in Switzerland and Austria next year.

"I'll get me Croat", screams the Daily Mirror of "England Disgrace" before going on to label the defeat "pitiful".

The Sun goes for a rare word-free cover that shows just a photograph of a decidedly deflated FIFA football sitting in a gutter.

Inside, fans express disgust at the soggy defeat under the headline "We Stink. It's all over".

Datagate

The ongoing uproar over the loss of personal data by HM Revenue and Customs continues to dominate, with the planned ID card scheme now being questioned.

The Telegraph believes ministers are missing the point when they insist that the cards will be foolproof because they'll hold biometric details.

Moving ahead would be intolerable until the lessons of the date loss have been fully understood, The Guardian argues.

And the Independent has officially labelled the blunder "Datagate".

Green Santa

The Daily Express offers up a new, green-suited Santa Claus, a Brighton school's answer to rampant consumerism in the Christmas run-up.

Parents at the school blame Coca Cola for corrupting jolly Father Christmas's red suit and say St Nicholas originally wore green. Who knew?

The Telegraph says online supermarket shoppers are being shipped food that is less fresh that what is sold in store.

Supermarkets denied the Which? report, saying the same food is sold to all.