George RR Martin uses 'Gay of Thrones' to make camp complaint to readers

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/jun/19/george-rr-martin-gay-of-thrones-cameo-web-series

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George RR Martin throws a mini temper tantrum when he's asked "what happens next?" in a surprise cameo appearance on Game of Thrones recap web series Gay of Thrones.

The Funny or Die series sees hairdresser Jonathan Van Ness gives his take on the latest goings on in Game of Thrones in what Vanity Fair called "LGBT-friendly jargon". The latest recap covered the finale of season four, and saw Van Ness refer to Cersei Lannister as "blonde Cher" and Arya Stark as "baby Kristin Stewart".

It ends as he and his colleague Jeffrey begin to kiss - only for the recap to be interrupted, in an homage to The Princess Bride, by a cut to a young boy saying: "Grandpa, grandpa, I thought this was a story about a Game of Thrones recap show, with an LGBT perspective. I don't want to hear about kissing."

"I didn't know my grandson was homophobic," replies the grandpa – who turns out to be Martin and, in a continued homage to The Princess Bride, to narrate from a book, this time entitled Gay of Thrones: "Since the invention of kissing there had been no kiss this passionate, this fierce … "

Van Ness is then stabbed in the stomach by Jeffrey, who "looked down to see his blood soaking the shirt he had just bought", says Martin.

"The Lannisters send their regards, you dumb bitch," says the murderer. "Jeffrey left, satisfied that he had slain his enemy, because he was late for hot yoga," narrates Martin. "Jonathan lay on the floor alone and gasping for life."

"What happens next?" asks the boy.

"You'll have to wait until the next book," responds Martin, crossly. "Get off my back … these things take time to write, they're 1,500 pages wrong, some people can't even read them," adds the author, before throwing the book on the bed and stalking out.

Martin was poking fun at the pace with which he is writing A Song of Ice and Fire, the sequence of novels on which Game of Thrones is based In response to "the rising tide of venom" about the speed of his writing, the author blogged in 2009: "You don't want me to 'pull a Robert Jordan' [who

died before finishing his fantasy series] on you and deny you your book. OK, I've got the message. You don't want me doing anything except A Song of Ice and Fire. Ever.

"(Well, maybe it's OK if I take a leak once in a while?)".

The first book in Martin's series, A Game of Thrones, was published in 1996, with A Clash of Kings following in 1998, A Storm of Swords in 2000, A Feast for Crows in 2005 and A Dance with Dragons in 2011. There is no release date yet for the sixth book in the series, The Winds of Winter, although Martin has released a few chapters from the novel for fans desperate to get their hands on it.

The author even turned down a cameo in the HBO television series to concentrate on the novel, telling the Wall Street Journal that "I gotta get some of these monkeys off my back, including The Winds of Winter – the big monkey, King Kong."

"The cameo we had planned would've involved me going to Croatia," Martin said in March, "and I just couldn't find the time between all my other trips and my speaking engagements and the work I had to do to take off time to fly to Croatia."

Instead, he made time for Gay of Thrones.