Politicians may slug it out, but their distance from the electorate is widening

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jun/18/politicians-slug-distance-gene-pool-labour

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The endless procession of slugs across my garden sets me wondering how they reproduce so plentifully. I remember as a child wanting to know how they did "it". So I found out. Slugs are hermaphrodites who encircle each other, exchange sperm through their protruded genitalia and then lay eggs. Often during this ritual one slug's corkscrew-like penis gets entangled so the other one has to chew it off. This is called apophallation. You're welcome.

This process comes to mind when I hear about the way the political class continues to reproduce itself. This class is having problems. For years there have been discussions about the "professionalising" of politics, the distance between this class and the electorate, the challenge to find candidates who resemble "ordinary people" or at least talk like them.

This is seen as a Europe-wide as well as a national problem, apparent in the Euro elections. A technocratic Eurocracy remains largely anonymous. Much anti-Euro feeling is based on this lack of accountability. We know more about how slugs reproduce than how these people continue to hold power.

In private, decent politicians speak of this reproductive issue. They hope to have more women, ethnic minorities, those elusive "ordinary people". But beyond the introduction of women-only quotas, no one has done a damn thing about it. For Tories ordinary people mean those who have worked in finance or business and this is reflected in who they selected for the election. Labour is doing badly here: half of those selected for marginal seats next year already have links to Westminster (advisers, researchers and way too many ex-MPs who lost seats in the expenses row). A review carried out by Peter Hain has spoken of this "state of terminal decline". This results in electoral apathy. Or anger. A symbiotic relationship between the press and the media maintains this stasis. But many things now do not murmur disconnect, they scream it: the shunting in of Juncker as an EU president who exudes entitlement; Ed Miliband captured by Murdoch insurgents; the Blair death mask appearing in front of some palm trees preaching his own personal jihad; Alastair Campbell still doling out advice on winning, when so much was lost on his watch.

Decent politicians know this looks awful but seem unable to produce any systematic change in how politics is done. So the orchestrated nostalgia for real people takes bizarre turns, from Farage to Churchill and his drinking, via Russell Brand and a new-found love for Alan Johnson.

Some of this is the fault of the media because surely the parasites have invaded the host to such an extent that the mainstream media now shapes the actual politics and is a huge turn off. Except as satire such as The Thick of It. The licensing of Ukip, for instance, by the BBC, even as the election results were coming in that shattered their earthquake narrative was appalling. The journalist who ran Ukip's campaign was then elected. If Leveson was to have achieved anything it should have been to prise open these tight relationships. As long as Westminster is treated as the centre of the universe, party politics will be increasingly seen as an odd hobby.

Those who are seeking a bigger picture exist, but once elected a blinkered groupthink often takes over. This week, a policy review will set out what Labour is for. It will be thoughtful and indeed necessary, if we accept that the political class comes into being not by prior conviction but by strategic thinking. Jon Cruddas will lay out ways to shore up the NHS (possibly by higher national insurance contributions). Renewal and reciprocity are the buzzwords. Wonks are hoping for the one killer policy to seal the deal, which rather holds the electorate in contempt. Why not just bribe us?

What actually needs to happen is not the reproduction of this failing elite. The political class needs a bigger gene pool. As long as the twin demands of diversity and authenticity are not met, the technocratic elite is losing any semblance of a mandate.

Democracy is imperfect is always the answer here. Any better ideas? Well, yes, we can look at primaries and see that Hain was right about Labour being too inward-looking. The culture of parties needs to shift and he cited Birmingham Edgbaston and Barking, where members worked with activists outside the party in the last election.

Recession has made parts of the left ever more insular. Austerity has produced a fear of ideas, or even honesty. If we want an NHS that is being privatised, say so and how it much it costs. The same with house building and the selling off of public land that the Tories want via the infrastructure bill. If we say we want real people in politics then they will have had affairs, taken drugs, lived. The weird and wonderful is better surely than the telegenic no marks of whom the media "approves". There is nothing wrong with the passionate amateur, the instinctual communicator. We don't need focus groups to tell us that belief, conscience, people who use their voice for those they represent, who know the places they represent, are what works, and that openness is not disloyalty.

I just watched the closed shop of PMQs which, quite frankly, makes the idea of slugs chewing off each others' genitalia seem civilised.