How to manage workplace stress in five simple steps

http://www.theguardian.com/women-in-leadership/2014/jun/18/how-to-manage-workplace-stress

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Last week, our five stress management experts answered your questions on workplace wellbeing. We've picked out their best advice to provide you with a handy guide to stress-free life.

1. Recognise what you need

"The root cause of stress will always be one or more of our emotional needs not being fulfilled," says Jeremy Old, a business coach for GrowthAccelerator. As well as the obvious things, such as a roof over our head, food on the table and money to pay the bills, we also need things such as acceptance, security, control, fulfillment, respect and the belief that we are heard. You can find a fuller list here. Take time to look through the list and note down any which have a particular resonance for you, then think about how strongly you think they are being met or not.

Rather than trying to tackle allyour emotional needs at once, pick one to focus on and plan how you could improve it. For example, if you feel you need more control at work, consider talking to your boss about being given ownership of a particular project or target. Explain to them how important it is to you to feel that you have a level of control over the project and how this will positively affect your performance.

2. Make sure you and your employer understand the cost of stress

Suffering alone won't help you manage your stress levels but many people can be afraid of the reaction from their employer. However, you need to remember that your mental health will affect your ability to do your job, it's in your employer's interests as much as your own to ensure that you're happy and healthy. Old suggests doing a stress audit, looking at the impact a stressed workforce will have on the bottom line of a company.

For example, stress can lead to forgetfulness, says Old. "What is the cost of this forgetfullness leading to the employee making a mistake? Then ask what is the indirect cost of this, such as customer satisfaction or management time spent sorting out the consequences of the mistake … You will gradually tot up quite a significant sum of money that is inarguable."

Presenting the case of a more balanced working in environment in this manner allows your employer to see both the direct effects of stress but also shows that you're trying to find a solution rather than let the business suffer.

3. Accept that the cause of workplace stress might not be work

One of the most important ways you can help to control stress is by identifying the true cause of it. Psychologist Emma Kenny explains that the first thing to do is accept whether the stress is coming from an internal or external source.

External sources of stress might include bullying, disruptive colleagues or family problems. These are often problems over which you have limited control, it might feel like the solution is out of your hands. However, Kenny, suggests that taking some steps to resolving them is better than doing nothing.

"Think of the protocal you can insitutute to protect yourself," she suggests. "If you're being bullied then involve HR, for example. People feel less stressed when they take control of a situation".

4. Be your own best friend

If the sources of your stress are more internal then you need to silence the voice in your head, says Kenny. "Reducing stress often involves cutting out the 'I'm not good enough', 'I could do better', "she is coping better than I am', etc. This negative self talk is very limiting and means your anxiety levels are high and your enjoyment levels are low."

The best thing you can do is indulge in some "reality talk". Note down what you love, what brings you enjoyment and when you're happiest. Feel free to put these in order, maybe on a good day you quite like your job but you always love your family, now you know where you gain the most fulfillment and where to put your energies.

If you really can't think of anything which lifts your spirits it's time to take a closer look at some of the self-limiting statements. For example, if you regularly find yourself saying, "I'm not good enough", try breaking that sentence down. What exactly are you not good enough at? Why are you not good enough at it? What would you need to do to be better? Look at those standards you've set yourself and then ask who actually is achieving these? Maybe you feel you're not achieving enough at work and have a colleague who is putting in twice the number of hours you are. Ask yourself whether they're really more productive, maybe they just don't have your time management skills?

And if you still feel you're not matching up, the final question to ask is: "Would I judge my best friend by these standards?" We're often very keen to employ unrealistically high criteria to ourselves in a way we would never do to anyone else. If you wouldn't ask your best friend to jump through the hoops you've set for yourself, then you don't need to either.

5. Have a plan

If you're trying to control your stress levels then you need to get the basics right. "Fundamental principles of good nutrition, sleep, hydration and some exercise is something that lays the foundation for your mind and body to cope with stressful situations," says business coach Gemma Johnson. "You may find that as you feel stronger some of the original issues causing you stress aren't as vivid or overpowering."

Writing a plan for how to manage your stress levels might feel like adding another thing to your to-do list but it will give you a guide to check yourself against. Work out what helps you feel better and plan it into your daily life. If you know you feel calmer on days when you've spent some time outside then add a half-hour walk to your calendar and stick to it the way you would a client meeting.

Nat Miles, of Mind, suggests making this plan with your manager, "it helps managers and employees to identify what is expected of each person and reduces anxieties on both sides. Having a written plan also helps you to monitor and review the approach and actions you've committed to".

Three resources to calm your mind

How to manage stress - a comprehensive guide from Mind

How to meditate - an introduction

10 minutes to a better work / life balance