A dad is for life, not just Father's Day

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jun/14/dad-fathers-day

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This Sunday, fathers across the country will wake up to cards, breakfast in bed and novelty socks. Pubs will be packed with families treating their dad to lunch, and shops full of gift ideas for thanking your old man. Then, come Monday morning, we will return to a culture in which the importance of fathers is routinely ignored and in which the rights of men to be active parents are still frequently unfulfilled.

There remains in Britain an outdated attitude towards parenting that rests firmly on tired gender stereotypes: Dad goes to off to work while Mum stays at home and makes the packed lunches.

As hopelessly antiquated as it may seem, there is still a misconception in modern Britain that fathers matter less than mothers, and that the role of the man is in the workplace rather than the home. Worse still, this belief forms the basis of our national approach to parental leave.

This culture needs to change. It is not just outdated, but harmful too. It is bad for fathers, who are deprived of time with their newborn baby. It is equally bad for mothers, who are forced to assume the role of primary carer, and for the children, who miss out on time with Dad. And it is really bad for gender equality in the workforce.

British men work the longest hours in Europe, and the quality of their relationship with their families inevitably suffers. It is hard to build a strong relationship with a child you only see for an hour a day. Eighty-two per cent of working fathers want to spend more time with their children but are prevented from doing so by cultural expectations and financial needs. In a third of cases, they aren't even able take the fortnight of paternity leave to which they are legally entitled. There is an expectation among employers that fathers will be back at work within a couple of days, leaving Mum at home to care for the baby.

If Dad has to stay at work, then Mum has to stay at home. The motherhood penalty in the workplace continues to bite. Nearly one in three mothers do not work. Too often, this is not a choice but a necessity, because of unaffordable childcare and the expectation that the mother, rather than her male partner, will be the parent to sacrifice their career.

We will not achieve gender equality in the workplace until we fix our system of parental leave. The problem is well documented: the gender pay gap stands stubbornly at 10% and studies suggest a woman's future earnings decrease by 5% for each year she takes off to look after a child. The economy suffers, too, with an estimated £23bn being lost because of our inability to better harness women's skills in employment. What is required is a clear cultural change in Britain when it comes to parenthood and what family means.

Countries such as Denmark show us there is an alternative. Legally, their system is similar to our own. But there, crucially, there is a culture of fathers being expected to take paternity leave and actively encouraged to do so. Other Scandinavian countries, including Norway and Sweden, go even further. There, paternity leave is mandatory. In Britain, where a culture of new dads taking time off does not exist, mandatory paternity leave should be seriously considered.

The coalition's reform of shared parental leave, which comes into effect next year, was a well intentioned but ultimately botched attempt to support families, and a missed opportunity to fix the system for good. In practice, shared parental leave is simply transferable maternity leave. The father only gets more time off if the mother gets less, and only if certain criteria are met. Dads are given no new independent right to time off, and the government expects just 4%-8% of families to make use of parental leave.

Fathers matter. It is the responsibility of all of us to create a culture that encourages and enables fathers to spend more time with their families. Being a provider is no bad thing, but kids mostly just want Dad to spend time with them, and the mums I talk to want a dad to be an active and engaged parent.

A workplace culture where fathers are encouraged to take paternity leave would result in stronger families, a more equal labour market and a better economy.

This Father's Day, instead of focusing just on the greetings cards and the breakfast in bed, the best gift we can give the country is to improve and encourage paternity leave.