All women's bums are not created equal

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/may/27/women-bums-duchess-cambridge-daily-mail

Version 0 of 1.

Let's take a moment to pause and consider something that really matters to the nation. Something that makes Ukip, house prices and Michael Gove's hatred of American literature pale in comparison. That's right, folks: it's the Duchess of Cambridge's bum.

The German tabloid Bild was the highest bidder for a sneaked shot of Kate's dress flying up while she stood beside a helicopter on the royals' recent tour of Australia, which was used in an article comparing her behind with the backsides of Kim and Khloe Kardashian. The headline suggests we should all be thankful for the array of especially pleasing derrières on display during the bank holiday weekend. Luckily, when the Daily Mail reported on the picture's existence, they showed the page with our Kate's modesty intact, her bum blurred out for the sensitive eyes of the British royalist viewer.

I want us to talk about this coverage because it's so incredibly rare. When can we, as women, hold up our hands and honestly say that objectifying pictures of our gender are the norm? Bikini shots of teen celebrities rarely see the light of day, except on fetish websites that we all condemn. They're certainly not routinely used as props in advertising. Paparazzi chasing female public figures for shots of their underwear? That doesn't happen. Body image-policing by women's magazines? Never seen it. And it's not like any naughty pics of the duchess herself have ever been subject to international media bidding wars before. This is a completely unprecedented event: a new low.

In this instance, I especially applaud the tabloids for their stringent, respectful adherence to basic morality. It is they who have tirelessly refused these kinds of photos, again and again, at the expense of possible revenue. It is they who champion the rights of women – all women, regardless of their careers or social standing – to live their lives free from harassment and degradation.

And if you want the truth, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the abundance of reverential articles about Hillary Clinton. I don't care for the pieces documenting award ceremonies that fail to mention Jennifer Lawrence's "sumptuous curves". I wish that the Daily Mail, protector of women's dignity, would publish something along the lines of, LeAnn Rimes displays her pert posterior in a revealing pink bikini, complete with pictures, right alongside their condemnation of a German tabloid doing the same to Kate, thus rendering them complete and utter hypocrites.

The Duchess of Cambridge's bum may not be newsworthy in the way that I just described. It may well be ridiculous that the Daily Mail openly criticised Bild for publishing the photos while deliberately drawing attention to them. We may all know that "upskirt" shots are somewhat of a norm, and that they're making money out of every other passing woman in exactly the same way as Bild did.

But actually the endless parade of these boobs and bums, these long-lens shots by concealed photographers and the media criticism that follows them (too flat-chested, too fake, too fat, too saggy) is worthy of discussion. This blasé culture of endlessly commenting on women's bodies is psychologically damaging on a massive scale. The fact that the Daily Mail recognises this in the case of one woman and not another is especially disappointing, as if one can only escape from second-class citizenship as a woman by marrying into the royal family.

Nine times out of 10, it's not the celebrities and the already-made-its who are going to be disheartened by this sort of coverage. Instead it's the young girls who might have considered becoming politicians or musicians or human rights lawyers or tennis players after them. And we owe them so much more than this base duplicity.