This article is from the source 'guardian' and was first published or seen on . It last changed over 40 days ago and won't be checked again for changes.

You can find the current article at its original source at http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/may/14/activated-almonds-well-yes-eating-them-might-make-you-a-pretentious-git

The article has changed 2 times. There is an RSS feed of changes available.

Version 0 Version 1
Activated almonds? Well yes, eating them might make you a pretentious git Activated almonds? Well yes, eating them might make you a pretentious git
(4 months later)
When it comes to being Australian, being up yourself is pretty much the worst crime imaginable. Pete Evans, the not-French judge on Channel Seven's My Kitchen Rules, displayed no little perspicacity this week when he suggested in an interview that, perhaps, "some people might think I'm a wanker." Responses seem to range from the gentler end of "you think?" to just quoting the last three words in the sentence, along with additional confirmation.When it comes to being Australian, being up yourself is pretty much the worst crime imaginable. Pete Evans, the not-French judge on Channel Seven's My Kitchen Rules, displayed no little perspicacity this week when he suggested in an interview that, perhaps, "some people might think I'm a wanker." Responses seem to range from the gentler end of "you think?" to just quoting the last three words in the sentence, along with additional confirmation.
As a TV host in a genre rife with pretension and conceit, Evans somehow managed to be a head and chef's hat above the pack last year when he spoke of enjoying "activated almonds". I am still blessedly ignorant as to what "activated almonds" even are, but I like to imagine that they are somewhere between a branding opportunity for a vegan reboot of the Wonder Twins and a brand new Australian colloquialism for a good old-fashioned kick in the nuts. Either way, while still getting our head around whatever the hell quinoa is meant to be, many of us find that dropping a Gwenyth Paltrow-esque concept such as "activated almonds" in reply to "what do you eat for afternoon tea?" makes you sound like a pretentious git.As a TV host in a genre rife with pretension and conceit, Evans somehow managed to be a head and chef's hat above the pack last year when he spoke of enjoying "activated almonds". I am still blessedly ignorant as to what "activated almonds" even are, but I like to imagine that they are somewhere between a branding opportunity for a vegan reboot of the Wonder Twins and a brand new Australian colloquialism for a good old-fashioned kick in the nuts. Either way, while still getting our head around whatever the hell quinoa is meant to be, many of us find that dropping a Gwenyth Paltrow-esque concept such as "activated almonds" in reply to "what do you eat for afternoon tea?" makes you sound like a pretentious git.
Since Ned Kelly murdered a bunch of police but was a real wag to the judge when he went to trial, Australians have idealised being down to earth as central to our sense of self. In the late 1990s, TISM asked listeners to choose one of two modes of living in "What-are-ya? (yob or wanker)" and crystallised the choice of masculine ideals for Aussie men. You can be a real Aussie bloke or you can be up yourself, but whatever happens, taking the piss and sticking it to the man take priority, so everyone's gonna want to have a go one way or another.Despite micromanaging his government to a standstill white anting his own party into an empty husk where the left used to be, Kevin Rudd will always be most derided for his perceived attitude. Somewhere between wanker and pompous know-it-all, it seemed that long ago Rudd swallowed his school thesaurus and that from that day forward, he couldn't open his mouth without sounding like a twit. And once the question of "what-are-ya?" was posed to the Australian public in the 2013 election, it was clear which one the electorate preferred to represent them.But the thing is, it's never just straight calling someone a wanker in Australia. The people best known for their wanker properties are also incredibly successful and popular in their own right. David Koch ("Kochie") is widely regarded as a bit of a git– he led a group of trekkers on a tour of the Kokoda track, all wearing Channel Seven marketing t-shirt (Aussie - sorry, network pride!). He recently wheeled out a stripper pole for his breakfast TV co-host after she wore particularly high heels, and managed to turn a discussion about women breastfeeding in public into nothing more than an opportunity to make him look like a huge boob. But he is also the co-host of a TV show which has been the most popular program in its' timeslot for several of the last five years, and is regularly found writing for newspapers, magazines and guesting on radio and TV.Likewise the man practically synonymous with the word: Kyle Sandilands. It is rumoured he owns a gold throne in one of his several houses, and his middle name is Dalton (incidentally, an old British word for "wanker"). But you know how he can afford several houses? He is the most popular breakfast radio host in the country, with his show syndicated to a massive 11.7m people every week. So while Evans might be concerned that people think he's a wanker, he shouldn't worry too much. For all our idealised tropes about egalitarianism and not letting anyone get up themselves, it's more about perception than reality. Wankers can be and do anything they dream of, Pete – prime minister, radio host, stripper pole wheeler. Just err more on the side of yob, if you can manage it, and keep your "activated almonds" out of kicking distance, if you know what's good for you. Since Ned Kelly murdered a bunch of police but was a real wag to the judge when he went to trial, Australians have idealised being down to earth as central to our sense of self. In the late 1990s, TISM asked listeners to choose one of two modes of living in "What-are-ya? (yob or wanker)" and crystallised the choice of masculine ideals for Aussie men. You can be a real Aussie bloke or you can be up yourself, but whatever happens, taking the piss and sticking it to the man take priority, so everyone's gonna want to have a go one way or another.Despite micromanaging his government to a standstill white anting his own party into an empty husk where the left used to be, Kevin Rudd will always be most derided for his perceived attitude. Somewhere between wanker and pompous know-it-all, it seemed that long ago Rudd swallowed his school thesaurus and that from that day forward, he couldn't open his mouth without sounding like a twit. And once the question of "what-are-ya?" was posed to the Australian public in the 2013 election, it was clear which one the electorate preferred to represent them.But the thing is, it's never just straight calling someone a wanker in Australia. The people best known for their wanker properties are also incredibly successful and popular in their own right. David Koch ("Kochie") is widely regarded as a bit of a git– he led a group of trekkers on a tour of the Kokoda track, all wearing Channel Seven marketing t-shirt (Aussie - sorry, network pride!). He recently wheeled out a stripper pole for his breakfast TV co-host after she wore particularly high heels, and managed to turn a discussion about women breastfeeding in public into nothing more than an opportunity to make him look like a huge boob. But he is also the co-host of a TV show which has been the most popular program in its' timeslot for several of the last five years, and is regularly found writing for newspapers, magazines and guesting on radio and TV.Likewise the man practically synonymous with the word: Kyle Sandilands. It is rumoured he owns a gold throne in one of his several houses, and his middle name is Dalton (incidentally, an old British word for "wanker"). But you know how he can afford several houses? He is the most popular breakfast radio host in the country, with his show syndicated to a massive 11.7m people every week. So while Evans might be concerned that people think he's a wanker, he shouldn't worry too much. For all our idealised tropes about egalitarianism and not letting anyone get up themselves, it's more about perception than reality. Wankers can be and do anything they dream of, Pete – prime minister, radio host, stripper pole wheeler. Just err more on the side of yob, if you can manage it, and keep your "activated almonds" out of kicking distance, if you know what's good for you.