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'I was made in Middlesbrough' 'I was made in Middlesbrough'
(10 minutes later)
By Shaun Harley Certified 'Smoggie' Middlesbrough may have topped a poll of the worst places to live in Britain, but one local is prepared to face down its critics. After all, what other town can lay claim to Picasso, the Proms and a delicacy known as the parmo?By Shaun Harley Certified 'Smoggie' Middlesbrough may have topped a poll of the worst places to live in Britain, but one local is prepared to face down its critics. After all, what other town can lay claim to Picasso, the Proms and a delicacy known as the parmo?
'Yer jokin' aren' yer!' That was my typically Teesside reaction to the news that a survey of council areas carried out for a Channel 4 show has placed the town in the top 10 of its "worst" list for the third year running.'Yer jokin' aren' yer!' That was my typically Teesside reaction to the news that a survey of council areas carried out for a Channel 4 show has placed the town in the top 10 of its "worst" list for the third year running.
And this time it has jumped from sixth place to topple Hackney from the ignominious top spot.And this time it has jumped from sixth place to topple Hackney from the ignominious top spot.
Like many people from the area, I don't deny that the town suffers from a relatively poor standard of living, but statistics only tell part of the story.Like many people from the area, I don't deny that the town suffers from a relatively poor standard of living, but statistics only tell part of the story.
Middlesbrough transporter bridge - picture: Dave RobinsonEnlarge Image Middlesbrough is a town fighting its way back, fuelled by huge regeneration, modern creativity and the best post-pub delicacy in the Western world.Middlesbrough transporter bridge - picture: Dave RobinsonEnlarge Image Middlesbrough is a town fighting its way back, fuelled by huge regeneration, modern creativity and the best post-pub delicacy in the Western world.
Many parts of the North East have had to cope with the loss of industry and a declining manufacturing base, and times have been hard for Middlesbrough in recent years. But a £1.5bn investment programme is slowly transforming the town.Many parts of the North East have had to cope with the loss of industry and a declining manufacturing base, and times have been hard for Middlesbrough in recent years. But a £1.5bn investment programme is slowly transforming the town.
To be honest, it's the least it deserves. The area's ironworks, steelworks, shipbuilding and chemical plants made a hefty contribution to British prosperity - no doubt profiting the merchants and landowners of leafy, pollution-free places elsewhere in the country.To be honest, it's the least it deserves. The area's ironworks, steelworks, shipbuilding and chemical plants made a hefty contribution to British prosperity - no doubt profiting the merchants and landowners of leafy, pollution-free places elsewhere in the country.
For a time in the 19th Century, this corner of England used to set the world price for iron and steel.For a time in the 19th Century, this corner of England used to set the world price for iron and steel.
It's telling that the area's most impressive structural achievement sits 12,000 miles away - the world-famous Sydney Harbour Bridge The town's first professional football club, established in the late Victorian era, was called Middlesbrough Ironopolis, surely the most intimidating club name ever? In the 1930s, local company Dorman Long used "Boro steel" to build the Tyne Bridge for our grateful North-Eastern cousins.It's telling that the area's most impressive structural achievement sits 12,000 miles away - the world-famous Sydney Harbour Bridge The town's first professional football club, established in the late Victorian era, was called Middlesbrough Ironopolis, surely the most intimidating club name ever? In the 1930s, local company Dorman Long used "Boro steel" to build the Tyne Bridge for our grateful North-Eastern cousins.
The famous Transporter Bridge remains a local landmark but the area's export-focused prowess might explain why the town made do with an uninspiring grid-style development when it took off in the mid-19th Century and little noticeable investment was made in its own distinctive architecture.The famous Transporter Bridge remains a local landmark but the area's export-focused prowess might explain why the town made do with an uninspiring grid-style development when it took off in the mid-19th Century and little noticeable investment was made in its own distinctive architecture.
It's perhaps telling that the area's most impressive structural achievement sits 12,000 miles away - the world-famous Sydney Harbour Bridge.It's perhaps telling that the area's most impressive structural achievement sits 12,000 miles away - the world-famous Sydney Harbour Bridge.
But the bridge does have "MADE IN MIDDLESBROUGH" emblazoned on its side, which in our book beats a plaque outside a disused railway station or yet another renovated mill. Our other famous export was Captain James Cook, whose statue can be found across the New World.But the bridge does have "MADE IN MIDDLESBROUGH" emblazoned on its side, which in our book beats a plaque outside a disused railway station or yet another renovated mill. Our other famous export was Captain James Cook, whose statue can be found across the New World.
Stunning sceneryStunning scenery
The town has experienced huge economic changes but Teesport is still the UK's second largest port, and the ICI petrochemical plant continues to dominate the Teesside skyline.The town has experienced huge economic changes but Teesport is still the UK's second largest port, and the ICI petrochemical plant continues to dominate the Teesside skyline.
And when its towers light up at night, it's a modern Technicolor wonder. Who says so? Well, local lad Ridley Scott, whose dad worked in the shipyards, was inspired to create Blade Runner (and what would you rather watch... Howards End?)And when its towers light up at night, it's a modern Technicolor wonder. Who says so? Well, local lad Ridley Scott, whose dad worked in the shipyards, was inspired to create Blade Runner (and what would you rather watch... Howards End?)
Those towers are why we're called "Smoggies" by the Mackems and Geordies. Sunderland and Newcastle aren't exactly renowned for being rural idylls so we always laugh at away games when they scream: "What's it like to smell fresh air?"Those towers are why we're called "Smoggies" by the Mackems and Geordies. Sunderland and Newcastle aren't exactly renowned for being rural idylls so we always laugh at away games when they scream: "What's it like to smell fresh air?"
Journey South sparked a Boro musical renaissance Perhaps it's a genuine question rather than terrace banter. After all, Middlesbrough is surrounded by the stunning Cleveland Hills and is only a few miles from the North Yorkshire Moors and the Yorkshire Dales.Journey South sparked a Boro musical renaissance Perhaps it's a genuine question rather than terrace banter. After all, Middlesbrough is surrounded by the stunning Cleveland Hills and is only a few miles from the North Yorkshire Moors and the Yorkshire Dales.
The urban landscape is starting to improve following the opening of the Middlesbrough Institute of Modern Art (Mima) in the town's revamped central square, reportedly now the largest civic space in Europe.The urban landscape is starting to improve following the opening of the Middlesbrough Institute of Modern Art (Mima) in the town's revamped central square, reportedly now the largest civic space in Europe.
Ok, we might have a poorly-designed, boring town centre - where pockets of grass were surrounded by railings, presumably to protect them from extinction - but at least it can now claim to be home to Picasso, David Hockney, Andy Warhol, Henri Matisse and Damien Hirst.Ok, we might have a poorly-designed, boring town centre - where pockets of grass were surrounded by railings, presumably to protect them from extinction - but at least it can now claim to be home to Picasso, David Hockney, Andy Warhol, Henri Matisse and Damien Hirst.
And this summer, the town hosted an outdoor airing of the Last Night of the Proms - just when it seemed the triumph of handsome twosome Journey South making the X-Factor top three was the summit of our musical achievement.And this summer, the town hosted an outdoor airing of the Last Night of the Proms - just when it seemed the triumph of handsome twosome Journey South making the X-Factor top three was the summit of our musical achievement.
Football has always been in the town's bloodIn the recent past, Mima's artistic line-up might have been mistaken for the latest influx of foreign stars to join the town's Premiership football club. (Sub)urban myth has it that stars would be given a tour of the picturesque village of nearby Yarm, rather than downtown 'Boro, when they flew in to discuss the deal.Football has always been in the town's bloodIn the recent past, Mima's artistic line-up might have been mistaken for the latest influx of foreign stars to join the town's Premiership football club. (Sub)urban myth has it that stars would be given a tour of the picturesque village of nearby Yarm, rather than downtown 'Boro, when they flew in to discuss the deal.
But the club now has arguably the best academy system in the country, filling the first team squad and feeding the national team at junior and senior levels.But the club now has arguably the best academy system in the country, filling the first team squad and feeding the national team at junior and senior levels.
And while the rest of the league falls prey to foreign billionaires, the chairman is a local businessman who saved the club in the 1980s when he was still only in his twenties. Steve Gibson has since invested heavily, making it arguably the most successful English club outside the "big four" in the past 10 years.And while the rest of the league falls prey to foreign billionaires, the chairman is a local businessman who saved the club in the 1980s when he was still only in his twenties. Steve Gibson has since invested heavily, making it arguably the most successful English club outside the "big four" in the past 10 years.
'Paaaaaaarmo, please''Paaaaaaarmo, please'
Hard lives make for hard people, but Middlesbrough folk are generally warm and like nothing more than a laugh over a pint or three. The University of Teesside provides a thriving population of 20,000 students, who enjoy the town's many pubs, bars and clubs.Hard lives make for hard people, but Middlesbrough folk are generally warm and like nothing more than a laugh over a pint or three. The University of Teesside provides a thriving population of 20,000 students, who enjoy the town's many pubs, bars and clubs.
A huge public square surrounds MimaIt can take a little while for outsiders to get used to the local accent though, which can use elongated vowel sounds - "I'm wearing me peeeeerrrrrple sheeeerrrrrrt tonight, like." This is usually delivered out of the side of the mouth, an economy of speech that makes the area a fertile recruiting ground for MI5, which probably explains David Shayler.A huge public square surrounds MimaIt can take a little while for outsiders to get used to the local accent though, which can use elongated vowel sounds - "I'm wearing me peeeeerrrrrple sheeeerrrrrrt tonight, like." This is usually delivered out of the side of the mouth, an economy of speech that makes the area a fertile recruiting ground for MI5, which probably explains David Shayler.
A night spent in Teesside's finest hostelries wouldn't be complete without sampling the incomparable parmo. This consists of a chicken or pork escalope, covered in cheese sauce and served with chips and salad (all the main food groups are represented) in a polystyrene dish the size of a UFO.A night spent in Teesside's finest hostelries wouldn't be complete without sampling the incomparable parmo. This consists of a chicken or pork escalope, covered in cheese sauce and served with chips and salad (all the main food groups are represented) in a polystyrene dish the size of a UFO.
It's worth getting your order in quickly because it can take a while to get through the chorus of "Paaaaaaarmo, please" at the counters of the various parmo houses.It's worth getting your order in quickly because it can take a while to get through the chorus of "Paaaaaaarmo, please" at the counters of the various parmo houses.
And to show how fair minded we are in Middlesbrough, here's a proposition for Phil Spencer and Katie Allsopp, the presenters of Best and Worst Places to Live 2007.And to show how fair minded we are in Middlesbrough, here's a proposition for Phil Spencer and Katie Allsopp, the presenters of Best and Worst Places to Live 2007.
If they come up to Middlesbrough to see the town for real, we'll treat them to a free parmo. You see, property prices aren't silly in Middlesbrough, so we can afford it.
Add your comments on this story, using the form below.
If they come up to Middlesbrough to see the town for real, we'll treat them to a free parmo. You see, property prices aren't silly in Middlesbrough, so we can afford it.
Add your comments on this story, using the form below.
Reading about my beloved home town brings a little tear to my eye. Where else in the country can you drive half an hour in one direction to some nice coast line, and half an hour in the other direction and be deep in the North Yorkshire Moors? I'll be back on the 27th October Boro, and look out Parmo, I'm coming to get youChris Sanderson, Leighhton Buzzard (Formerly of Middlesbrough)Reading about my beloved home town brings a little tear to my eye. Where else in the country can you drive half an hour in one direction to some nice coast line, and half an hour in the other direction and be deep in the North Yorkshire Moors? I'll be back on the 27th October Boro, and look out Parmo, I'm coming to get youChris Sanderson, Leighhton Buzzard (Formerly of Middlesbrough)
The stark contrast of sprawling industry and beautiful countryside make Middlesbrough a compelling place to live. Great nightlife too.Richard Horsman, MiddlesbroughThe stark contrast of sprawling industry and beautiful countryside make Middlesbrough a compelling place to live. Great nightlife too.Richard Horsman, Middlesbrough
"...arguably the most successful English club outside the 'big four' in the past 10 years.." Sorry, I've only just finished laughing at this bit. So you think that one trophy since Gibson arrived somehow negates the 10yrs of struggle in the Premiership? That despite finishing in the lower echelons of the League this is a success? Chris Manning, Bury"...arguably the most successful English club outside the 'big four' in the past 10 years.." Sorry, I've only just finished laughing at this bit. So you think that one trophy since Gibson arrived somehow negates the 10yrs of struggle in the Premiership? That despite finishing in the lower echelons of the League this is a success? Chris Manning, Bury
You're living in the past! Okay, in the PAST Middlesbrough did a lot to contribute to the country and HAD a lot to be proud of. You also highlight surrounding areas for the beauty but based upon what Middlesbrough has to offer now I agree with the "worst town in Britain".John Brugmans, MiddlesbroughYou're living in the past! Okay, in the PAST Middlesbrough did a lot to contribute to the country and HAD a lot to be proud of. You also highlight surrounding areas for the beauty but based upon what Middlesbrough has to offer now I agree with the "worst town in Britain".John Brugmans, Middlesbrough
Can I just say what an excellent article. I'm from nearby Hartlepool who also came in for a slaying in this poll. Much of what is said above also rings true for Hartlepool. I can't help feeling that the southern producers of the show probably didn't even visit our towns. So much for the North-South divide eh?DB, Hartlepool
Stunning comeback. Honest and passionate - I respect you! You make Middlesbrough sound great.Katy, LeedsStunning comeback. Honest and passionate - I respect you! You make Middlesbrough sound great.Katy, Leeds
I work in Middlesbrough and find the people extremely proud of the town and so they should be. Obviously this survey, was yet again, taken by southerners who haven't discovered anywhere above Birmingham. It has its problems, like every other place in the UK, but is a place that, like a phoenix, manages to rise from the ashes every time industry is taken from it. Chris, Bishop AucklandI work in Middlesbrough and find the people extremely proud of the town and so they should be. Obviously this survey, was yet again, taken by southerners who haven't discovered anywhere above Birmingham. It has its problems, like every other place in the UK, but is a place that, like a phoenix, manages to rise from the ashes every time industry is taken from it. Chris, Bishop Auckland
My endearing memory of Middlesbrough from when I worked in the locality in the mid to late 70s was Brass Castle Lane and the difference between how the locals pronounced it (short 'a's) or how the rest pronounced it (long 'a's). And whose castle was it anyway?Michael, Newport, ShropshireMy endearing memory of Middlesbrough from when I worked in the locality in the mid to late 70s was Brass Castle Lane and the difference between how the locals pronounced it (short 'a's) or how the rest pronounced it (long 'a's). And whose castle was it anyway?Michael, Newport, Shropshire
Moved to the area from York a couple of years ago? cannot wait to move back, M'boro is one of the most intimidating towns in the UK. In fact we as a family no longer go shopping there, it's that bad. Plus the low expectation of a lot of the locals beggars belief, no incentive to improve their lot. To quote a primary school girl in what she wanted to do when she grows up, "I'm gonna have babies and get a free house" Maybe I am being unfair, and they are just a consequence of the environment they live in, but come on you Boro, you can do better!Colin Brown, Saltburn-by-the-SeaMoved to the area from York a couple of years ago? cannot wait to move back, M'boro is one of the most intimidating towns in the UK. In fact we as a family no longer go shopping there, it's that bad. Plus the low expectation of a lot of the locals beggars belief, no incentive to improve their lot. To quote a primary school girl in what she wanted to do when she grows up, "I'm gonna have babies and get a free house" Maybe I am being unfair, and they are just a consequence of the environment they live in, but come on you Boro, you can do better!Colin Brown, Saltburn-by-the-Sea
Spent four wonderful years at The University of Teesside and I still miss the Parmo... Mike Parsons, HorshamSpent four wonderful years at The University of Teesside and I still miss the Parmo... Mike Parsons, Horsham
I was born and bred in Middlesbrough but have been living in the south of England for some 21 yrs. Like your writer I am still proud to say where I hail from, something which softy southerners don't seem to understand. Life in the south is definitely faster and there is less time for each other. I think it's worth noting that the majority of friendships made since living in the south are also with people originally north of Watford. We are warm and friendly and we try to share that with people we come in contact with but I do find in the south it's not always appreciated or it's all too easily misunderstood.Anne McMahon, FarehamI was born and bred in Middlesbrough but have been living in the south of England for some 21 yrs. Like your writer I am still proud to say where I hail from, something which softy southerners don't seem to understand. Life in the south is definitely faster and there is less time for each other. I think it's worth noting that the majority of friendships made since living in the south are also with people originally north of Watford. We are warm and friendly and we try to share that with people we come in contact with but I do find in the south it's not always appreciated or it's all too easily misunderstood.Anne McMahon, Fareham
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