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How to cure a sexist boss: insist on equality at home How to cure a sexist boss: insist on equality at home
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The mayor of San Diego, California, resigned last month after allegations of workplace groping. My nine-year-old daughter, hearing the news, said: "I thought that only happened in France." Then the chief technology officer of a prominent industry publication was fired after tireless tweeting against feminists and women in tech. And at last week's venerable TechCrunch Disrupt conference in San Francisco, an app called Titstare provoked laughs, then outrage. The app's creators were Australian, pundits pointed out – how else could this happen in enlightened Silicon Valley?The mayor of San Diego, California, resigned last month after allegations of workplace groping. My nine-year-old daughter, hearing the news, said: "I thought that only happened in France." Then the chief technology officer of a prominent industry publication was fired after tireless tweeting against feminists and women in tech. And at last week's venerable TechCrunch Disrupt conference in San Francisco, an app called Titstare provoked laughs, then outrage. The app's creators were Australian, pundits pointed out – how else could this happen in enlightened Silicon Valley?
Easily. It happens everywhere. And it will continue until men and women share power 50-50 not only at work but at home, too. Because here's the thing: we can't change the office (or the Twittersphere, or conference stage) without changing the home. We've got to be pioneering in both, at once.Easily. It happens everywhere. And it will continue until men and women share power 50-50 not only at work but at home, too. Because here's the thing: we can't change the office (or the Twittersphere, or conference stage) without changing the home. We've got to be pioneering in both, at once.
I became a managing director at Goldman Sachs in 2000, just as women reached 11% of the firm's leadership. Women were taking high-profile, well-paid roles in everything from government to medicine, law to tech. We thought our husbands, unlike our fathers, would be as involved as we were with our kids, and that they would become allies in getting things like affordable childcare on the books, at last. Champagne please!I became a managing director at Goldman Sachs in 2000, just as women reached 11% of the firm's leadership. Women were taking high-profile, well-paid roles in everything from government to medicine, law to tech. We thought our husbands, unlike our fathers, would be as involved as we were with our kids, and that they would become allies in getting things like affordable childcare on the books, at last. Champagne please!
But wait, hold the bubbly. Thirteen years later, on both sides of the Atlantic, women fill fewer than 15% of leadership roles. They're still paid less than men for similar work. And sensible workplace policy that gives parents more control of their hours and lets women return from maternity leave in a constructive way? Nowhere near. Crucially, in all quartiles of the income distribution, women continue to leave good work because they don't know how to stay. "Few mothers drop out," concludes Joan Williams, a law professor at University of California. "They tend to drop from good jobs into bad ones."But wait, hold the bubbly. Thirteen years later, on both sides of the Atlantic, women fill fewer than 15% of leadership roles. They're still paid less than men for similar work. And sensible workplace policy that gives parents more control of their hours and lets women return from maternity leave in a constructive way? Nowhere near. Crucially, in all quartiles of the income distribution, women continue to leave good work because they don't know how to stay. "Few mothers drop out," concludes Joan Williams, a law professor at University of California. "They tend to drop from good jobs into bad ones."
The good news? Minds are changing. According to the Pew Research Centre, two-thirds of young American women now think it's important to be successful in a high-paying job. And 72% of men and women under 30 now think that in the best marriages husband and wife both work and do housework. To meet those aspirations, we need action.The good news? Minds are changing. According to the Pew Research Centre, two-thirds of young American women now think it's important to be successful in a high-paying job. And 72% of men and women under 30 now think that in the best marriages husband and wife both work and do housework. To meet those aspirations, we need action.
The facts are on our side. First, true 50-50 equality makes women happier and work teams more productive. Most women don't just need and want to work, they are happier when they do – even when they're mothers. A study of 10,000 women in the UK found "women with children are significantly happier if they have a job". Meanwhile, studies of Stanford engineers show that teams with a critical mass of women perform better.The facts are on our side. First, true 50-50 equality makes women happier and work teams more productive. Most women don't just need and want to work, they are happier when they do – even when they're mothers. A study of 10,000 women in the UK found "women with children are significantly happier if they have a job". Meanwhile, studies of Stanford engineers show that teams with a critical mass of women perform better.
Second, 50-50 helps men too. Studies show that working fathers feel more guilt about their lack of time with kids than working mothers do. And many good male bosses feel burned when they try to help women stay – and they leave anyway. Men want a different deal too.Second, 50-50 helps men too. Studies show that working fathers feel more guilt about their lack of time with kids than working mothers do. And many good male bosses feel burned when they try to help women stay – and they leave anyway. Men want a different deal too.
Another 50-50 perk? Research shows that when men embrace women as equals, they get more intimacy. They also, according to most – though not all – data, get more sex. What's more, a study of marriage statistics since 1985 has found that US couples who share housework and money had a 50% lower divorce risk. Split the work, and you stick together.Another 50-50 perk? Research shows that when men embrace women as equals, they get more intimacy. They also, according to most – though not all – data, get more sex. What's more, a study of marriage statistics since 1985 has found that US couples who share housework and money had a 50% lower divorce risk. Split the work, and you stick together.
Third, 50-50 helps with fair pay. A 2012 study found that men with working wives are more likely than those in traditional marriages to value female colleagues – and to support them. And the more women reach the top, the better women do generally. Data on a million US workers found that, across 155 industries, women bosses aren't devils wearing Prada: more female leaders results in better pay equality for women all the way down the ladder.Third, 50-50 helps with fair pay. A 2012 study found that men with working wives are more likely than those in traditional marriages to value female colleagues – and to support them. And the more women reach the top, the better women do generally. Data on a million US workers found that, across 155 industries, women bosses aren't devils wearing Prada: more female leaders results in better pay equality for women all the way down the ladder.
Fourth, 50-50 helps children. The largest data set on childcare and child development – from the National Institutes of Health and its vast array of studies – shows that men, parenting in a positive way, contribute at least as much as women to children's wellbeing. And kids turn out at least as well with mothers in the workforce.Fourth, 50-50 helps children. The largest data set on childcare and child development – from the National Institutes of Health and its vast array of studies – shows that men, parenting in a positive way, contribute at least as much as women to children's wellbeing. And kids turn out at least as well with mothers in the workforce.
New facts are leading us to a new way of doing things – more productive, fairer and more fun. Let's toast to that.New facts are leading us to a new way of doing things – more productive, fairer and more fun. Let's toast to that.
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