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Redefining what it means to 'be a man' Redefining what it means to 'be a man'
(5 days later)
Four Indian men have been convicted for the gang rape and murder of a young woman on a Delhi public bus last year. It's measly closure for a gruesome crime, and prosecutors asked for the death penalty, insisting that, "the common man will lose faith in the judiciary if the harshest punishment is not given".

Ironic, then, that it is the common man himself, in India and elsewhere, who is committing such heinous crimes. A massive UN study on the use of violence among 10,000 men in Asia-Pacific, released this week, reveals just how common rape is in Bangladesh, Cambodia, China, Indonesia, Papua New Guinea, and Sri Lanka.
Four Indian men have been convicted for the gang rape and murder of a young woman on a Delhi public bus last year. It's measly closure for a gruesome crime, and prosecutors asked for the death penalty, insisting that, "the common man will lose faith in the judiciary if the harshest punishment is not given".

Ironic, then, that it is the common man himself, in India and elsewhere, who is committing such heinous crimes. A massive UN study on the use of violence among 10,000 men in Asia-Pacific, released this week, reveals just how common rape is in Bangladesh, Cambodia, China, Indonesia, Papua New Guinea, and Sri Lanka.
The study is loaded with critical findings that, after first depressing you, have the potential to revolutionize the way we design gender-based violence policies and programs and even how talk about these in society. The biggest revelation is just how frequent sexual violence is: 25% of the men surveyed admit to raping a partner or a stranger in their lifetime, while one in 25 have taken part in a gang rape.The study is loaded with critical findings that, after first depressing you, have the potential to revolutionize the way we design gender-based violence policies and programs and even how talk about these in society. The biggest revelation is just how frequent sexual violence is: 25% of the men surveyed admit to raping a partner or a stranger in their lifetime, while one in 25 have taken part in a gang rape.
Some of the study's findings are not as surprising: sexual entitlement is the driver of most rapes, yet the next-most common reason that men rape is "for fun" or "out of boredom".Some of the study's findings are not as surprising: sexual entitlement is the driver of most rapes, yet the next-most common reason that men rape is "for fun" or "out of boredom".
(Please take a moment to let that sink in).(Please take a moment to let that sink in).
In every country surveyed, rape within relationships was the most common form of rape, yet also the least criminalized (in the Asia-Pacific region, but also worldwide) because the sanctity of marriage is still somehow upheld by the notion of sex-on-demand regardless of consent. Thus partner rape is rarely reported. Nearly 46% of men admitted to using physical or sexual violence against their partner at some point.In every country surveyed, rape within relationships was the most common form of rape, yet also the least criminalized (in the Asia-Pacific region, but also worldwide) because the sanctity of marriage is still somehow upheld by the notion of sex-on-demand regardless of consent. Thus partner rape is rarely reported. Nearly 46% of men admitted to using physical or sexual violence against their partner at some point.
Despite great improvements in laws criminalizing violence against women, including rape (though not marital), in the Asia-Pacific region, most men still get away with it. More than two-thirds of men who admitted raping also said they had experienced no legal consequences whatsoever, though some mentioned feelings of guilt. The survey allowed men to anonymously answer questions using electronic devices, a tactic that was meant to encourage truthful answers to questions.Despite great improvements in laws criminalizing violence against women, including rape (though not marital), in the Asia-Pacific region, most men still get away with it. More than two-thirds of men who admitted raping also said they had experienced no legal consequences whatsoever, though some mentioned feelings of guilt. The survey allowed men to anonymously answer questions using electronic devices, a tactic that was meant to encourage truthful answers to questions.
Findings show how early these actions start: 49% of men who had raped did so for the first time as teenagers. In case this suggests that abuses would be any less grave, remember that two of the men involved in the Delhi gang rape were teenagers. Without removing any culpability from the individual, there is a broader communal culpability it is also time to accept. The study also found that those who raped were more likely to have witnessed or experienced abuse, including homophobic bullying as a child or young person. There is a long and complicated chain that encourages this horrible behavior, and every link deserves attention.Findings show how early these actions start: 49% of men who had raped did so for the first time as teenagers. In case this suggests that abuses would be any less grave, remember that two of the men involved in the Delhi gang rape were teenagers. Without removing any culpability from the individual, there is a broader communal culpability it is also time to accept. The study also found that those who raped were more likely to have witnessed or experienced abuse, including homophobic bullying as a child or young person. There is a long and complicated chain that encourages this horrible behavior, and every link deserves attention.
After a prolific rape case in Steubenville, Ohio last year, which involved dozens of minors who sat by as one girl was raped, conversations began on the need to educate young kids on topics we often shielded them from, including consent and rape.After a prolific rape case in Steubenville, Ohio last year, which involved dozens of minors who sat by as one girl was raped, conversations began on the need to educate young kids on topics we often shielded them from, including consent and rape.
This is right on point, as researchers summed up the most significant factors that drive a man to rape as those rooted in "gender-inequitable constructions of masculinity". It's a mouthful, but it means a society with seriously scrambled and rigid ideas about what it means to "be a man". These constructions of masculinity hold everyone hostage, men as well as women.This is right on point, as researchers summed up the most significant factors that drive a man to rape as those rooted in "gender-inequitable constructions of masculinity". It's a mouthful, but it means a society with seriously scrambled and rigid ideas about what it means to "be a man". These constructions of masculinity hold everyone hostage, men as well as women.
It is not a stretch to see how a society that peddles pink princess toys for girls and blue toy guns for boys eventually gives rise to darker notions of subjugation and sexual entitlement, which manifest in rape and other acts gender-based violence – against any individual. Gender-based violence is resident in all corners of society, with causes and consequences more numerous and complex than any other issue being tackled. The solution is not just stricter rape laws, or more conversations with our sons, or more safe houses. It is all of these things and more, all at the same time and for a very long time.It is not a stretch to see how a society that peddles pink princess toys for girls and blue toy guns for boys eventually gives rise to darker notions of subjugation and sexual entitlement, which manifest in rape and other acts gender-based violence – against any individual. Gender-based violence is resident in all corners of society, with causes and consequences more numerous and complex than any other issue being tackled. The solution is not just stricter rape laws, or more conversations with our sons, or more safe houses. It is all of these things and more, all at the same time and for a very long time.
Changing these constructs will not come easily or quickly, because ultimately, we are talking about excavating and reshaping the gender landscape. When men admit that they rape for fun, or because they are entitled to sex and will take it by force if she won't give it up, well that belies a landscape so bleak, it is hard to look at.Changing these constructs will not come easily or quickly, because ultimately, we are talking about excavating and reshaping the gender landscape. When men admit that they rape for fun, or because they are entitled to sex and will take it by force if she won't give it up, well that belies a landscape so bleak, it is hard to look at.
Yet here we are, and bleak as it is, we need more bleakness. We need more data, more eerie delving into the minds and realities of perpetrators – not to give them platforms or excuses, but to face this head on. That is when the change comes.Yet here we are, and bleak as it is, we need more bleakness. We need more data, more eerie delving into the minds and realities of perpetrators – not to give them platforms or excuses, but to face this head on. That is when the change comes.
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