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| How to help girls run the world: parents and teachers, listen up | How to help girls run the world: parents and teachers, listen up |
| (14 days later) | |
| A recent study revealed that only 1 in 5 girls believes that she has the key qualities required to be a good leader. One of the main impediments is the fear of speaking in front of a group. | A recent study revealed that only 1 in 5 girls believes that she has the key qualities required to be a good leader. One of the main impediments is the fear of speaking in front of a group. |
| As the co-creators of Blogologues, a live sketch-comedy show that takes inspiration from the web, we give regular public speaking workshops to people in all sorts of industries. This year, we were approached by another exciting demographic: high school girls. Or rather, by their teachers, who saw the synergy between comedy, public speaking, and leadership. Below you’ll find our top five tricks for teaching girls (and everyone else) how to exude confidence and rock speaking in front of a group of any size. Oh yeah, and the tips are illustrated through Vine, so, nice to meet you. | As the co-creators of Blogologues, a live sketch-comedy show that takes inspiration from the web, we give regular public speaking workshops to people in all sorts of industries. This year, we were approached by another exciting demographic: high school girls. Or rather, by their teachers, who saw the synergy between comedy, public speaking, and leadership. Below you’ll find our top five tricks for teaching girls (and everyone else) how to exude confidence and rock speaking in front of a group of any size. Oh yeah, and the tips are illustrated through Vine, so, nice to meet you. |
| 1. Fake it till you make it | 1. Fake it till you make it |
| A fact we love: Queen Beyonce has an alter-ego, Sasha Fierce, that she channels before she goes onstage. Your kids don’t need to be aspiring actors or comedians to do the same. | A fact we love: Queen Beyonce has an alter-ego, Sasha Fierce, that she channels before she goes onstage. Your kids don’t need to be aspiring actors or comedians to do the same. |
| If a girl you know is scared of speaking in front of her class, ask her to think of her favorite teacher, or a classmate she admires that seems to have no trouble with public speaking, and encourage her to literally imitate her or him. From there, confidence will strengthen. | If a girl you know is scared of speaking in front of her class, ask her to think of her favorite teacher, or a classmate she admires that seems to have no trouble with public speaking, and encourage her to literally imitate her or him. From there, confidence will strengthen. |
| On a related note, teaching kids to say things like “I am awesome and I’ve got this!!” really do help before stepping out in front of a crowd. | On a related note, teaching kids to say things like “I am awesome and I’ve got this!!” really do help before stepping out in front of a crowd. |
| 2. It’s not about being pretty | 2. It’s not about being pretty |
| For better or worse, it’s true that we girls-- especially in the middle, high school, and collegiate stages-- are concerned about how we look. While looking presentable helps anyone feel confident, an overemphasis on “looking pretty” inhibits girls, making them feel self-conscious onstage and diminishing their willingness to take risks or crack a small joke -- all things that are essential to a memorable presentation. | For better or worse, it’s true that we girls-- especially in the middle, high school, and collegiate stages-- are concerned about how we look. While looking presentable helps anyone feel confident, an overemphasis on “looking pretty” inhibits girls, making them feel self-conscious onstage and diminishing their willingness to take risks or crack a small joke -- all things that are essential to a memorable presentation. |
| What can you do? For one, focus on curbing the very natural habit of greeting girls with a comment about looks. “Don’t you look nice?” shouldn’t be the first thing you say. Instead, make a concerted effort to start with something else. And if she’s practicing a speech, focus on concrete elements first: How her personal anecdote helped bring things to life for you, how her choice of images punctuated her points, how her intonation kept you attentive, etc. | What can you do? For one, focus on curbing the very natural habit of greeting girls with a comment about looks. “Don’t you look nice?” shouldn’t be the first thing you say. Instead, make a concerted effort to start with something else. And if she’s practicing a speech, focus on concrete elements first: How her personal anecdote helped bring things to life for you, how her choice of images punctuated her points, how her intonation kept you attentive, etc. |
| 3. Don’t be afraid of humor | 3. Don’t be afraid of humor |
| Yes, you should always craft your words appropriately for your audience. But humor is an excellent tool for capturing attention... and keeping it. We can’t emphasize this enough. It’s also the reason that, in theater, it’s way easier to sell tickets to a comedy than, say, a two-hour drama about the French Revolution. People want to laugh, and they remember when they do. | Yes, you should always craft your words appropriately for your audience. But humor is an excellent tool for capturing attention... and keeping it. We can’t emphasize this enough. It’s also the reason that, in theater, it’s way easier to sell tickets to a comedy than, say, a two-hour drama about the French Revolution. People want to laugh, and they remember when they do. |
| How can you encourage your kids to be funny? There are the obvious players: Suggest joining a comedy club or auditioning for The Importance of Being Earnest. For teachers, it’s not a bad idea to consider starting a comedy group that’s just for girls, which will allow them to practice and have fun free from many social pressures (see rule #2). | How can you encourage your kids to be funny? There are the obvious players: Suggest joining a comedy club or auditioning for The Importance of Being Earnest. For teachers, it’s not a bad idea to consider starting a comedy group that’s just for girls, which will allow them to practice and have fun free from many social pressures (see rule #2). |
| But there are smaller options, too, especially when it comes to public speaking. When working with your daughter or a student on a presentation, recommend that she include a few unusual details, examples, or surprises in her speech that will get her audience chuckling. If she’d prefer not to create the joke from scratch, there is plenty of ridiculous fodder online that can help illuminate her message. | But there are smaller options, too, especially when it comes to public speaking. When working with your daughter or a student on a presentation, recommend that she include a few unusual details, examples, or surprises in her speech that will get her audience chuckling. If she’d prefer not to create the joke from scratch, there is plenty of ridiculous fodder online that can help illuminate her message. |
| 4. There is a time to give a shit, and a time not to give a shit | 4. There is a time to give a shit, and a time not to give a shit |
| In other words, when your kids are preparing for, well, anything, they should totally give a shit. Work hard. Like, really, really hard. But once your child or student – or anyone, for that matter – is up there speaking to a group, it’s time to be in the moment and, well, stop giving a shit and have fun. When standing in front of others, the message will falter if the speaker is remotely self-conscious. | In other words, when your kids are preparing for, well, anything, they should totally give a shit. Work hard. Like, really, really hard. But once your child or student – or anyone, for that matter – is up there speaking to a group, it’s time to be in the moment and, well, stop giving a shit and have fun. When standing in front of others, the message will falter if the speaker is remotely self-conscious. |
| Easier said than done, of course. A small tactic that will help is not allowing your girls to stop and comment on themselves while practicing – something that we’ve noticed girls do more than boys. For example, something as seemingly insignificant as “Oh! I didn’t like how I said that. Let me start over” is a sign of judging herself during her presentation, rather than being in the moment. Recommend that she get all the way through the speech, then she can look back and decide what she wants to work on. | Easier said than done, of course. A small tactic that will help is not allowing your girls to stop and comment on themselves while practicing – something that we’ve noticed girls do more than boys. For example, something as seemingly insignificant as “Oh! I didn’t like how I said that. Let me start over” is a sign of judging herself during her presentation, rather than being in the moment. Recommend that she get all the way through the speech, then she can look back and decide what she wants to work on. |
| To reiterate: prepare. Then let it go. | To reiterate: prepare. Then let it go. |
| 5. If someone puts you in a box, do the robot | 5. If someone puts you in a box, do the robot |
| You know what is the most boring thing in the world? Watching someone do or say EXACTLY what you thought they would. | You know what is the most boring thing in the world? Watching someone do or say EXACTLY what you thought they would. |
| 2+2 is FIVE! (Remember, women aren’t good at math. JUST KIDDING.) Your daughter or student can always get up there and a give cliche, run-of-the-mill speech. Most people do. Or, she can surprise everyone by leading a stretch-and-tweet before starting, asking NON-rhetorical questions, adding music, preparing a skit, or bringing audience members up to illustrate points. The list goes on. | 2+2 is FIVE! (Remember, women aren’t good at math. JUST KIDDING.) Your daughter or student can always get up there and a give cliche, run-of-the-mill speech. Most people do. Or, she can surprise everyone by leading a stretch-and-tweet before starting, asking NON-rhetorical questions, adding music, preparing a skit, or bringing audience members up to illustrate points. The list goes on. |
| A major roadblock that we’d like to point out is that people who fear public speaking often look at those who are good at it with awe and call them “naturals.” Natural? Probably not. Many-- if not all-- of those memorable moments from someone else’s speech that looked so spontaneous and amazing actually took tons of time to plan. There is nothing wrong with taking an hour or four to brainstorm and plan out a unique move, and you should encourage your kids to take that time. | A major roadblock that we’d like to point out is that people who fear public speaking often look at those who are good at it with awe and call them “naturals.” Natural? Probably not. Many-- if not all-- of those memorable moments from someone else’s speech that looked so spontaneous and amazing actually took tons of time to plan. There is nothing wrong with taking an hour or four to brainstorm and plan out a unique move, and you should encourage your kids to take that time. |
| Similarly, we are, all of us, put in boxes our whole lives: For our gender, race, religion, ethnicity, hometown, hairstyle, body type. It’s up to you what you do with those boxes. You can behave exactly as you’re expected to, or you can build a really cool box-home, with awesome cut-out doors and windows, and maybe even a chimney. Or a robot. (Or Blogologues.) | Similarly, we are, all of us, put in boxes our whole lives: For our gender, race, religion, ethnicity, hometown, hairstyle, body type. It’s up to you what you do with those boxes. You can behave exactly as you’re expected to, or you can build a really cool box-home, with awesome cut-out doors and windows, and maybe even a chimney. Or a robot. (Or Blogologues.) |
| There are a ton more tips and tricks that can help girls (or boys or even adults). There are ways to make audiences laugh or wait captivated for your next point through movement, timing, or no words at all (laymen’s terms: pausing). But we can’t give away ALL of our secret sauces, because there’s probably a word limit to this article. But we do hope that the next generation will soon be cooking without assistance. | There are a ton more tips and tricks that can help girls (or boys or even adults). There are ways to make audiences laugh or wait captivated for your next point through movement, timing, or no words at all (laymen’s terms: pausing). But we can’t give away ALL of our secret sauces, because there’s probably a word limit to this article. But we do hope that the next generation will soon be cooking without assistance. |
| What are your public speaking tips? Share them below. | What are your public speaking tips? Share them below. |
| Alli & Jen are the two lady co-creators of Blogologues, a sketch comedy show in NYC in which the internet is performed completely verbatim. Last month, Blogologues was a New York Times Critics’ Pick, and CBS listed the show as one of the top five things to do in NYC. Blogologues has also been featured in The Huffington Post, Mashable, and more. Alli & Jen have led comedy & public speaking workshops for Andover, Lean Startup Machine, AlleyNYC and more. To learn more or schedule a workshop, visit blogologues.org. | Alli & Jen are the two lady co-creators of Blogologues, a sketch comedy show in NYC in which the internet is performed completely verbatim. Last month, Blogologues was a New York Times Critics’ Pick, and CBS listed the show as one of the top five things to do in NYC. Blogologues has also been featured in The Huffington Post, Mashable, and more. Alli & Jen have led comedy & public speaking workshops for Andover, Lean Startup Machine, AlleyNYC and more. To learn more or schedule a workshop, visit blogologues.org. |
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