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Cameron looks a fool over Syria – but whose fault would that be? | Cameron looks a fool over Syria – but whose fault would that be? |
(14 days later) | |
Clegg: I can't really say whether I would or would not let the US use the UK as a missile base. | Clegg: I can't really say whether I would or would not let the US use the UK as a missile base. |
Cameron: Who let this idiot sum up the debate? | Cameron: Who let this idiot sum up the debate? |
Hague: I did. | Hague: I did. |
The Speaker: Tough shit, Dave. You've lost the vote. | The Speaker: Tough shit, Dave. You've lost the vote. |
Cameron: How the hell did you screw up so badly? | Cameron: How the hell did you screw up so badly? |
Tory whips: To be fair, it wasn't just us. | Tory whips: To be fair, it wasn't just us. |
Cameron: And where the hell were you? | Cameron: And where the hell were you? |
Justine Greening: I'm really, really, really sorry. The dog ate my homework. And then my granny died. | Justine Greening: I'm really, really, really sorry. The dog ate my homework. And then my granny died. |
Cameron: And you, Milidee. You're a fucking cunt. You're more interested in scoring personal political points than helping the Syrian people. | Cameron: And you, Milidee. You're a fucking cunt. You're more interested in scoring personal political points than helping the Syrian people. |
Milidee: That makes two of us, then. | Milidee: That makes two of us, then. |
Philip Hammond: By voting not to start a war we might not be able to end, we have given a clear message to Saddam Hussein that he can do what he likes. | Philip Hammond: By voting not to start a war we might not be able to end, we have given a clear message to Saddam Hussein that he can do what he likes. |
Everyone: Er, Saddam was hanged nearly seven years ago. | Everyone: Er, Saddam was hanged nearly seven years ago. |
Hammond: Really? No one told me. | Hammond: Really? No one told me. |
Paddy Ashdown: I've never felt so ashamed. | Paddy Ashdown: I've never felt so ashamed. |
Lady Ashdown: Would you care to think a little harder about that, Lord Pantsdown? | Lady Ashdown: Would you care to think a little harder about that, Lord Pantsdown? |
Obama: I'd like to say "Bonjour" to my new best friend, France Europe. | Obama: I'd like to say "Bonjour" to my new best friend, France Europe. |
France: You quoi? | France: You quoi? |
Some MPs: Can we just confirm whether the UK actually sold chemical agents to Syria? | Some MPs: Can we just confirm whether the UK actually sold chemical agents to Syria? |
Cameron: Oh yes. Bashar told me he had a terrible snail problem in his back garden. | Cameron: Oh yes. Bashar told me he had a terrible snail problem in his back garden. |
Milidee: Now that you've been made to look a complete fool, can we have another vote if it looks like rather more of the British public fancy getting involved in Syria? | Milidee: Now that you've been made to look a complete fool, can we have another vote if it looks like rather more of the British public fancy getting involved in Syria? |
Cameron: Are you totally mad? We never really wanted to get into a big spat with Bashar anyway. We certainly don't want him ousted as then we just let the al-Qaeda and Muslim Brotherhood johnnies in. We just wanted to send him a bit of a warning that gassing his people was a red line but that if he wanted to go back to gunning them down indiscriminately it was fine by us. | Cameron: Are you totally mad? We never really wanted to get into a big spat with Bashar anyway. We certainly don't want him ousted as then we just let the al-Qaeda and Muslim Brotherhood johnnies in. We just wanted to send him a bit of a warning that gassing his people was a red line but that if he wanted to go back to gunning them down indiscriminately it was fine by us. |
Clegg: It is rather wonderful to have the moral high ground, isn't it Daddy? | Clegg: It is rather wonderful to have the moral high ground, isn't it Daddy? |
Cameron: It certainly is. I'm just sorry the world hasn't had the opportunity to realise just how moral we really are. | Cameron: It certainly is. I'm just sorry the world hasn't had the opportunity to realise just how moral we really are. |
The world: Don't worry. We know enough about your morality. | The world: Don't worry. We know enough about your morality. |
GMB Union: We're going to reduce our donation to the Labour party by £1m at Christmas. | GMB Union: We're going to reduce our donation to the Labour party by £1m at Christmas. |
Milidee: £1m is loose change to me these days. I say we bomb Syria anyway. | Milidee: £1m is loose change to me these days. I say we bomb Syria anyway. |
Blair: That's my boy. | Blair: That's my boy. |
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