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Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Jason Statham are right – to stay together, break up Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Jason Statham are right – to stay together, break up
(14 days later)
If you're a celebrity with something to promote, you'd better be good at manufacturing dramatic stories about your love life. It doesn't matter how many stories you have about the Tahitian vacation that inspired your signature scent. If you need to make headlines, you better make up with someone, break up with someone or engineer a "romp" with the Krankies.If you're a celebrity with something to promote, you'd better be good at manufacturing dramatic stories about your love life. It doesn't matter how many stories you have about the Tahitian vacation that inspired your signature scent. If you need to make headlines, you better make up with someone, break up with someone or engineer a "romp" with the Krankies.
But what do you do if you're fairly happy with your partner, and you don't intend to stand outside your shared house looking sad and holding a box for the paps? Well, you go on a break. Lingerie model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Hollywood hard man Jason Statham are the latest celebs reportedly cooling things off for a bit, but they're leaving their romantic situation open for review. At the Berlin Film festival, Michael Douglas described his recent split with wife Catherine Zeta Jones as a "temporary separation". It's easy to be cynical about their intentions and write off the "break" as a way for celebrities to stay topical, but I think that a temporary separation might be a wise move for many people in relationships.But what do you do if you're fairly happy with your partner, and you don't intend to stand outside your shared house looking sad and holding a box for the paps? Well, you go on a break. Lingerie model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Hollywood hard man Jason Statham are the latest celebs reportedly cooling things off for a bit, but they're leaving their romantic situation open for review. At the Berlin Film festival, Michael Douglas described his recent split with wife Catherine Zeta Jones as a "temporary separation". It's easy to be cynical about their intentions and write off the "break" as a way for celebrities to stay topical, but I think that a temporary separation might be a wise move for many people in relationships.
If you're lucky enough to live near a historic landmark, you'll understand how easy it is to stop being amazed by something you once considered beautiful and/or fascinating. You might walk past it every day and look at it, unseeing, until a stunning sunset or a curious guest gives it a new and dazzling context and reignites your interest in it once again. And it's the same with your partner. When you see the same person every day, it's scarily easy to stop really looking at them.If you're lucky enough to live near a historic landmark, you'll understand how easy it is to stop being amazed by something you once considered beautiful and/or fascinating. You might walk past it every day and look at it, unseeing, until a stunning sunset or a curious guest gives it a new and dazzling context and reignites your interest in it once again. And it's the same with your partner. When you see the same person every day, it's scarily easy to stop really looking at them.
Esther Perel, the author of Mating In Captivity, writes about the tension between our need for intimacy and our need for desire. In an interview, she explained: "Desire needs separateness, a certain space in order to thrive. We seek security and predictability in our long-term relationships, but eroticism thrives on mystery, novelty and risk." It's hard to maintain an air of mystery with your boyfriend or girlfriend when you just borrowed their pyjama bottoms and accidentally covered them in jam.Esther Perel, the author of Mating In Captivity, writes about the tension between our need for intimacy and our need for desire. In an interview, she explained: "Desire needs separateness, a certain space in order to thrive. We seek security and predictability in our long-term relationships, but eroticism thrives on mystery, novelty and risk." It's hard to maintain an air of mystery with your boyfriend or girlfriend when you just borrowed their pyjama bottoms and accidentally covered them in jam.
The second you stop consciously making an effort for your partner, you're just two people nodding off in front of NCIS, probably not bothering to apologise when you drool all over each other. Spending some time apart not only gives you both a chance to dry off, but it also gives you the chance to rediscover each other, and your original context as a couple. When you're part of each other's daily routine, your time together can become routine.The second you stop consciously making an effort for your partner, you're just two people nodding off in front of NCIS, probably not bothering to apologise when you drool all over each other. Spending some time apart not only gives you both a chance to dry off, but it also gives you the chance to rediscover each other, and your original context as a couple. When you're part of each other's daily routine, your time together can become routine.
Relationships transform us, and our personalities evolve as we become closer to the person we're involved with. Ideally we become our best selves around our partners, but change does not always bring progress. Your feelings for your partner will invariably alter over the course of the relationship, because your characters are altered too. Time apart can help you grow together, as it gives you a chance to keep assessing the state of the union, with a clear head. You can both use the space to make sure that you want to be with the people you have grown in to. And if you don't, you can end your time together knowing that you've considered life without your partner, and you're ready for that.Relationships transform us, and our personalities evolve as we become closer to the person we're involved with. Ideally we become our best selves around our partners, but change does not always bring progress. Your feelings for your partner will invariably alter over the course of the relationship, because your characters are altered too. Time apart can help you grow together, as it gives you a chance to keep assessing the state of the union, with a clear head. You can both use the space to make sure that you want to be with the people you have grown in to. And if you don't, you can end your time together knowing that you've considered life without your partner, and you're ready for that.
A trial separation is a serious undertaking. It's not an excuse to slink off and gain carnal knowledge of everyone in your workplace postroom, or give up all hygienic practices and body maintenance routines for a few months. If you think it's a pain-free way to get rid of your partner, just break up with them properly, and immediately. It's kinder. However, if you and your partner want to stay together, it might help to try a little time apart.A trial separation is a serious undertaking. It's not an excuse to slink off and gain carnal knowledge of everyone in your workplace postroom, or give up all hygienic practices and body maintenance routines for a few months. If you think it's a pain-free way to get rid of your partner, just break up with them properly, and immediately. It's kinder. However, if you and your partner want to stay together, it might help to try a little time apart.
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