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Don't worry dear, that's just a brazenly copulating squirrel monkey Don't worry dear, that's just a brazenly copulating squirrel monkey
(14 days later)
A family day out at the zoo. Here you all are, outside the monkey enclosure, and the monkeys are swinging from rope to rope with such laidback grace, they seem to endorse your parenting choices. "We brought you here, and look how entertaining they are!" Then one monkey mounts another and a small voice asks: "What are they doing now?A family day out at the zoo. Here you all are, outside the monkey enclosure, and the monkeys are swinging from rope to rope with such laidback grace, they seem to endorse your parenting choices. "We brought you here, and look how entertaining they are!" Then one monkey mounts another and a small voice asks: "What are they doing now?
It is at this point that most people depart in haste for the inoffensive parakeets next door, or the lemurs, who save this sort of work for the cover of darkness. But Chessington World of Adventures is broaching the subject of its mating inmates head-on with the appointment of Lisa Britton as "a birds and the bees consultant". It is not so much a new job as "an add-on" she says. She has worked there for the past few years and her job title is still primate supervisor, "otherwise it might look quite obscure on my CV". When children ask difficult questions, in steps Britton (subject to parental approval) to explain the concept of mating.It is at this point that most people depart in haste for the inoffensive parakeets next door, or the lemurs, who save this sort of work for the cover of darkness. But Chessington World of Adventures is broaching the subject of its mating inmates head-on with the appointment of Lisa Britton as "a birds and the bees consultant". It is not so much a new job as "an add-on" she says. She has worked there for the past few years and her job title is still primate supervisor, "otherwise it might look quite obscure on my CV". When children ask difficult questions, in steps Britton (subject to parental approval) to explain the concept of mating.
Her advice is: "Be quite factual." She tells children: "This only happens when you are a certain age and your body will allow you to go into a breeding season. That is the act in which the female will become pregnant." Sounds quite harmless. Does it get more specific than that? "You need a male and a female because their genitals are different. Mum and Dad are old enough. They work in a way that their genitals can make a baby," she says.Her advice is: "Be quite factual." She tells children: "This only happens when you are a certain age and your body will allow you to go into a breeding season. That is the act in which the female will become pregnant." Sounds quite harmless. Does it get more specific than that? "You need a male and a female because their genitals are different. Mum and Dad are old enough. They work in a way that their genitals can make a baby," she says.
Chessington is experimenting with yellow diamond warning signs that say "ANIMAL BABY MAKING ZONE" and Britton says she is most in demand around four species: the monkeys "who have no shame and are quite happy to mate in front of the public", most brazenly in the case of squirrel monkeys, who wave their monkeyhood around as part of courtship, the lions "because it's a noisy affair", ostriches "because of their large size and the fact that there is a good view of them" and, counterintuitively, tortoises. "It's a very slow process and they are not discreet at all."Chessington is experimenting with yellow diamond warning signs that say "ANIMAL BABY MAKING ZONE" and Britton says she is most in demand around four species: the monkeys "who have no shame and are quite happy to mate in front of the public", most brazenly in the case of squirrel monkeys, who wave their monkeyhood around as part of courtship, the lions "because it's a noisy affair", ostriches "because of their large size and the fact that there is a good view of them" and, counterintuitively, tortoises. "It's a very slow process and they are not discreet at all."
Britton has heard some unusual parental explanations of mating. One parent in her earshot told a child that the larger animal was trying to pump up the smaller one to make it bigger – an interesting idea. Most commonly, she says, parents tell their children, "He's giving the other one a piggy back ride" or "We'll explain it when you're older." But perhaps the most laughable response is when parents ask her, as they regularly do: "Can you please get them to stop?" It's a no: she doesn't fancy separating mating lions.Britton has heard some unusual parental explanations of mating. One parent in her earshot told a child that the larger animal was trying to pump up the smaller one to make it bigger – an interesting idea. Most commonly, she says, parents tell their children, "He's giving the other one a piggy back ride" or "We'll explain it when you're older." But perhaps the most laughable response is when parents ask her, as they regularly do: "Can you please get them to stop?" It's a no: she doesn't fancy separating mating lions.
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