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| Harry, prince of fun? Only if you're into naked billiards | Harry, prince of fun? Only if you're into naked billiards |
| (about 1 hour later) | |
| What makes life interesting, apart from the ineffable mysteries of the cosmos and such, is the fact that we're all different. Some of us are suited to a life on the stage, some might prefer to be out in the sun. | What makes life interesting, apart from the ineffable mysteries of the cosmos and such, is the fact that we're all different. Some of us are suited to a life on the stage, some might prefer to be out in the sun. |
| My daughter's very like me: she likes curries and superhero comics and fart gags, especially fart gags. Whether that's heredity or training or Stockholm syndrome I'm unwilling to speculate. | My daughter's very like me: she likes curries and superhero comics and fart gags, especially fart gags. Whether that's heredity or training or Stockholm syndrome I'm unwilling to speculate. |
| But I'm a disappointment as an uncle. I know nothing about cars, I care not a fig for football, and my interest in fishing is limited to sushi menus. | But I'm a disappointment as an uncle. I know nothing about cars, I care not a fig for football, and my interest in fishing is limited to sushi menus. |
| That's all fine. My nephews have other, tougher uncles to consult. And if a nerdy nebbish with a vulgar sense of humour ever should spring from my brother's loins, I'll be ready. My extensive library of vintage DC comics and whoopee cushions will be at the newcomer's disposal. | That's all fine. My nephews have other, tougher uncles to consult. And if a nerdy nebbish with a vulgar sense of humour ever should spring from my brother's loins, I'll be ready. My extensive library of vintage DC comics and whoopee cushions will be at the newcomer's disposal. |
| But what about poor little George Alexander Louis? He's got an uncle whose lively interests and proclivities are the stuff of popular lore. Prince Harry is an old-fashioned royal roué in the classic mould, and he has promised to make sure his nephew "has fun". If little George should grow up with a taste for wild nights at Mahiki or naked billiard games he'll be fine. Royal decadence and regal banter is a well-established tradition. King Edward VII's young adulthood was one long fortnight in Faliraki. If he were alive today he'd be the role model for an entire generation of Nuts readers. | |
| But what if he's one of life's readers, or ramblers, or republicans? It could happen. After all, I was brought up in a staunchly royalist household but imbibed a strong sense of social justice from Batman comics. | But what if he's one of life's readers, or ramblers, or republicans? It could happen. After all, I was brought up in a staunchly royalist household but imbibed a strong sense of social justice from Batman comics. |
| Who knows what ideas might take root in that unformed mind? I rather hope he does find a kindred spirit somewhere in that slightly bonkers family that our ancestors decided to revere. I might not like the institution, but it would be terribly mean-spirited to wish the unhappiness of isolation on a tiny infant barely a few days old. | Who knows what ideas might take root in that unformed mind? I rather hope he does find a kindred spirit somewhere in that slightly bonkers family that our ancestors decided to revere. I might not like the institution, but it would be terribly mean-spirited to wish the unhappiness of isolation on a tiny infant barely a few days old. |
| If it were me, born into that archaic, dysfunctional setup, I'd be looking a little further than my playboy uncle for companionship and guidance. Perhaps as far as a great uncle so unsuited to mainstream royalling that they made him the earl of an imaginary county. | If it were me, born into that archaic, dysfunctional setup, I'd be looking a little further than my playboy uncle for companionship and guidance. Perhaps as far as a great uncle so unsuited to mainstream royalling that they made him the earl of an imaginary county. |
| Dear old uncle Eddie. Prince of nerds. And hanging around with him, little George is more likely to earn a few lines in The Stage, rather than a kiss and tell in The Sun. | Dear old uncle Eddie. Prince of nerds. And hanging around with him, little George is more likely to earn a few lines in The Stage, rather than a kiss and tell in The Sun. |