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Diary: Richard Desmond shows us the future of work. Less pay; more lottery tickets Diary: Richard Desmond shows us the future of work. Less pay; more lottery tickets
(2 months later)
• Shocking that the Channel 5 owner, newspaper proprietor and titan of adult entertainment Richard Desmond gets such a bad press. So he swears a bit, bullies a bit and presided over a lie-fest concerning Madeleine McCann. And yesterday, Channel 5 announced a new tie-in with payday loan profiteers Wonga. But, it's got to be said, he looks after his people. Express journos, they're old school, and via the National Union of Journalists, sought a percentage pay rise sufficient to reflect hard times and rising workloads. That wasn't to his liking, but he did offer everyone a one-off £500 payment, so long as they hit certain targets and enriched him further. That wasn't much to their liking. But he's not a mean man. As luck would have it there is this. "We are delighted to inform you that the company are now able to offer all staff within the N&S group FREE WEEKLY Health Lottery tickets for the next year, so you can all share the fun of playing and winning … from July 1st you will get a free weekly ticket to play and the chance to win up to £100,000 every Saturday." It's going well. So far, employees learn, 28 staff members have won varying amounts; £10, £20 and £50. One lucky worker scooped £250. And yet, in the face of such benevolence, still they grumble about actual salaries. Ingrates all of them.• Shocking that the Channel 5 owner, newspaper proprietor and titan of adult entertainment Richard Desmond gets such a bad press. So he swears a bit, bullies a bit and presided over a lie-fest concerning Madeleine McCann. And yesterday, Channel 5 announced a new tie-in with payday loan profiteers Wonga. But, it's got to be said, he looks after his people. Express journos, they're old school, and via the National Union of Journalists, sought a percentage pay rise sufficient to reflect hard times and rising workloads. That wasn't to his liking, but he did offer everyone a one-off £500 payment, so long as they hit certain targets and enriched him further. That wasn't much to their liking. But he's not a mean man. As luck would have it there is this. "We are delighted to inform you that the company are now able to offer all staff within the N&S group FREE WEEKLY Health Lottery tickets for the next year, so you can all share the fun of playing and winning … from July 1st you will get a free weekly ticket to play and the chance to win up to £100,000 every Saturday." It's going well. So far, employees learn, 28 staff members have won varying amounts; £10, £20 and £50. One lucky worker scooped £250. And yet, in the face of such benevolence, still they grumble about actual salaries. Ingrates all of them.
• The government just can't stick to anything, critics say, but that's wide of the mark. Ministers seem resolute in their adherence to chaos theory. They throw mud to see if any sticks. As to the logical basis or wider effects, who cares? Take the growing preponderance of food banks, the direct result, some say, of government spending cuts and welfare restrictions. The direct result, says George Osborne, of signs advertising their services in jobcentres. So what is the Department of Work and Pensions doing to monitor the situation, specifically the issuing of food banks vouchers? "Food banks do not form part of the welfare system and DWP does not monitor their usage, or have any plans to do so," says work and pensions minister Mark Hoban. And what of the Universal Jobmatch service, the controversial initiative linking jobseekers with jobcentre opportunities, many of which turn out to be bogus anyway? What are ministers doing to assess its effectiveness for those obliged to upload their CVs? "The department does not keep track of information on the number of people who have found jobs as a result of using Universal Jobmatch. We are not aware of anyone else attempting to do so," says DWP. From one fiasco to the next; onward, onward. The guiding spirit is Mr Magoo.• The government just can't stick to anything, critics say, but that's wide of the mark. Ministers seem resolute in their adherence to chaos theory. They throw mud to see if any sticks. As to the logical basis or wider effects, who cares? Take the growing preponderance of food banks, the direct result, some say, of government spending cuts and welfare restrictions. The direct result, says George Osborne, of signs advertising their services in jobcentres. So what is the Department of Work and Pensions doing to monitor the situation, specifically the issuing of food banks vouchers? "Food banks do not form part of the welfare system and DWP does not monitor their usage, or have any plans to do so," says work and pensions minister Mark Hoban. And what of the Universal Jobmatch service, the controversial initiative linking jobseekers with jobcentre opportunities, many of which turn out to be bogus anyway? What are ministers doing to assess its effectiveness for those obliged to upload their CVs? "The department does not keep track of information on the number of people who have found jobs as a result of using Universal Jobmatch. We are not aware of anyone else attempting to do so," says DWP. From one fiasco to the next; onward, onward. The guiding spirit is Mr Magoo.
• Too long since we heard anything from the conspiracy theoriser and professional gloomster David Icke. ShortList magazine goes to see him and true to form, he predicts that even more than present day, the future will be terrible. But the meeting doesn't go entirely smoothly, as Icke meets that tricky intersection between conspiracy and reality. "Osama Bin Laden died 10 years ago from liver failure," he declares. "That's why there are no pictures of the body." ShortList shows him the many pictures on the web. "Icke is briefly stumped." But not for long. "Photoshopped," he grumbles."• Too long since we heard anything from the conspiracy theoriser and professional gloomster David Icke. ShortList magazine goes to see him and true to form, he predicts that even more than present day, the future will be terrible. But the meeting doesn't go entirely smoothly, as Icke meets that tricky intersection between conspiracy and reality. "Osama Bin Laden died 10 years ago from liver failure," he declares. "That's why there are no pictures of the body." ShortList shows him the many pictures on the web. "Icke is briefly stumped." But not for long. "Photoshopped," he grumbles."
• No one's bothered about it yet, but will it worry Will and Kate that they have given baby the same name as one of the dimmest members of the Royal family? The last Prince George of Cambridge was Queen Victoria's first cousin, born in the same year, 1819. She apparently called him "poor George." As Duke of Cambridge, he served briefly in the Crimean War, had some kind of episode and was shipped home. He was promoted to commander in chief of the British Army in 1856. Although largely honorific, this post allowed him to resist every major army reform until he stood down in 1895, including the abolition of flogging and the end of purchase of commissions. His statue stands in Whitehall, close to that other military bungler Douglas Haig.• No one's bothered about it yet, but will it worry Will and Kate that they have given baby the same name as one of the dimmest members of the Royal family? The last Prince George of Cambridge was Queen Victoria's first cousin, born in the same year, 1819. She apparently called him "poor George." As Duke of Cambridge, he served briefly in the Crimean War, had some kind of episode and was shipped home. He was promoted to commander in chief of the British Army in 1856. Although largely honorific, this post allowed him to resist every major army reform until he stood down in 1895, including the abolition of flogging and the end of purchase of commissions. His statue stands in Whitehall, close to that other military bungler Douglas Haig.
• After the agony/ecstasy of this week, finally, your chance to obtain a keepsake. From the Royal Mint, a commemorative £5 silver coin. Cost to you, £80. Another mouth to feed. Expect more of this.• After the agony/ecstasy of this week, finally, your chance to obtain a keepsake. From the Royal Mint, a commemorative £5 silver coin. Cost to you, £80. Another mouth to feed. Expect more of this.
Twitter: @hugh_muir Twitter: @hugh_muir
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