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Did it take just one phone call for Bill Clinton to become a Belieber? Did it take just one phone call for Bill Clinton to become a Belieber?
(2 months later)
To the United States, where finally – FINALLY – Bill Clinton has intervened in the minor misdemeanour spiral of Justin Bieber.To the United States, where finally – FINALLY – Bill Clinton has intervened in the minor misdemeanour spiral of Justin Bieber.
In recent months, I think we've all been struck by the sense of the US as a country that simply lacks a presidential safety net for teen stars who "act out" via poor timekeeping, gravity-defying trouser-slinging, and inappropriate pet abandonment.In recent months, I think we've all been struck by the sense of the US as a country that simply lacks a presidential safety net for teen stars who "act out" via poor timekeeping, gravity-defying trouser-slinging, and inappropriate pet abandonment.
Thank God, then, for the emergence of footage showing Justin urinating in a cleaner's mop bucket on his way out of the back door of a restaurant, before spotting a photo of Bill Clinton on the wall and opining: "Fuck Bill Clinton."Thank God, then, for the emergence of footage showing Justin urinating in a cleaner's mop bucket on his way out of the back door of a restaurant, before spotting a photo of Bill Clinton on the wall and opining: "Fuck Bill Clinton."
This appears to have prompted Justin to call Clinton to apologise – and it seems that the former Commander in Chief has taken the opportunity to have some sort of words with the errant One Time singer. At present, the precise nature of these words remains tantalisingly unclear, though will doubtless be gifted to the nation when ground is broken on the Justin Bieber Library, or when the US National Archive declassifies Bieber's more sensitive papers. Whichever comes first.This appears to have prompted Justin to call Clinton to apologise – and it seems that the former Commander in Chief has taken the opportunity to have some sort of words with the errant One Time singer. At present, the precise nature of these words remains tantalisingly unclear, though will doubtless be gifted to the nation when ground is broken on the Justin Bieber Library, or when the US National Archive declassifies Bieber's more sensitive papers. Whichever comes first.
What we can say for sure is that Justin tweeted on Wednesday: "@billclinton thanks for taking the time to talk Mr. President. Your words meant a lot #greatguy." At time of writing, the 42nd president had declined to respond, but sources close to the discussion apparently told reporters that Clinton had reassured Justin that "if that is the worst thing you have ever done, all is well".What we can say for sure is that Justin tweeted on Wednesday: "@billclinton thanks for taking the time to talk Mr. President. Your words meant a lot #greatguy." At time of writing, the 42nd president had declined to respond, but sources close to the discussion apparently told reporters that Clinton had reassured Justin that "if that is the worst thing you have ever done, all is well".
Most gracious. After all, as someone who once bombed an aspirin factory to distract from his blowjob hearings, who better than Bill to inject some much-needed perspective into the Bieber transgression narrative?Most gracious. After all, as someone who once bombed an aspirin factory to distract from his blowjob hearings, who better than Bill to inject some much-needed perspective into the Bieber transgression narrative?
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